Page 158 of Broken Bonds

She hesitates. “I will be honest with you throughout the process. I will support you, as your doctor and caregiver. If there is an issue, we’ll discuss it at that time and I will give you all options to choose from. But for your peace of mind, and I know this is difficult under the circumstances, please assume everything is progressing normally and your baby’s healthy unless or until I tell you it’s not.”

“Have you ever terminated a male omega pregnancy before?” Jax asks.

“Twice, while we still lived with the affiliated pack in Colorado for a couple of years after I completed medical school in Denver. Both were raped during their first heats and neither wanted to keep it. That’s how they’d made their way to our pack to start with, escaping their home packs. They both later went on to have babies with mates. I’ve also had to induce labor early a couple of times for health problems for the baby or the omega father, and fortunately those had positive outcomes.”

“I like the idea that we assume everything’s normal unless or until it’s not,” Todd comments.

“It’s already not normal!” I realize I’m shrieking and I can’t help it.

It’s finally starting to hit me that…

I’m pregnant.

I’m going to have a baby.

How’d I go from wondering in the space of a few weeks if I’d even be able to stay alive to now I’m bringing another life into the world?

A life that never would have been possible had I not escaped my father, because I would have been forced into a marriage I damned sure didn’t want, to a woman I have zero romantic feelings for. And I would’ve gotten myself killed trying to kill my father before allowing him to force me to father a child with her.

“Any special instructions, doc?” Todd asks as he watches me, apparently—rightfully—worried I’m close to an emotional breakdown.

“Stay hydrated and no heavy lifting or strenuous physical activity for the next couple of weeks. I mean nothing more strenuous than doing the dishes. Don’t lift anything more than about ten pounds. Plus, obviously, no alcohol or drugs.”

“Why no physical activity?” Shawn asks.

“Oh, that applies to you, too. If there’s going to be a miscarriage—which happens in male omega first pregnancies more often than in their later pregnancies or in normal female pregnancies—it usually happens within the first couple of weeks. Also meaning no sex for the next several weeks. Including masturbating because orgasms can trigger contractions. Not until I’m sure everything’s okay. No need to jostle things around in there, and your hormones will already be a mess enough as it is.”

“You got it, doc,” Jax says. He looks at me. “Obviously your initiation ceremony is cancelled.”

I swallow hard, my stomach falling. “But I want to be part of the pack,” I whisper.

“You are part of the pack. As the pack Alpha I have the authority to modify requirements. There’s not a single person in this pack who, under the circumstances, will disagree with me, either.”

I’m forcing myself not to break down in tears. Stupid how just a little while ago I didn’t want any cock near me that wasn’t Todd’s, and now I’m upset I’m not getting railed silly by a bunch of guys I haven’t even met.

Jax tips his head. “I’m not saying you won’t have an initiation,” he kindly says, a tone that nearly breaks me. “I’m saying that, for now, I refuse to do anything to endanger you or your baby. You are not the first pregnant person—female or male—who we’ve deferred or delayed initiation for, okay?”

I sniffle and nod and feel stupid as hell for getting upset about this.

“Why don’t we head home?” Shawn suggests. “I think Todd and Mal have things to discuss.”

“We do,” Todd says.

“I’ll call and check in with you tomorrow morning,” Jax tells Todd, who nods.

“You okay?” the doc asks me. “Do you want me to hang for a while to answer questions?”

I shake my head because I’m definitely not okay, but I also don’t want her here right now. I just want Todd, and I want time to sit with this and…process.

“We’re good, doc,” Todd says. “Thanks.”

She gives him her personal cell and home numbers. “Call me, day or night, okay? I mean it. And call my office in the morning and tell them I need you scheduled for the day after tomorrow, an early morning appointment just after we open, for bloodwork and urinalysis. You too, Shawn. I can run those tests in-house. Fasting tests, only water after midnight the night before. Pregnancy tests, obviously, but I also want baselines for sugar, white blood cell count, kidney function—all the usual stuff. They’ll know.”

“Will do,” Todd says.

Jax and Shawn lean in to hug me before Todd walks them out.

Alone in the house, I’m…