Page 232 of Broken Bonds

“He was looking forward to the slutting around phase,” Todd tells them as he drapes an arm around me and pulls me against his chest, where I hide my face.

All I want to do right now is crawl into a hole.

“Oh, man,” Patton says, but he sounds compassionate. I can’t bear to look at either of them or I will cry. “Listen, Todd will keep tabs on this, I’m sure. And once you smell fuckable again, I bet you’ll have to peel us off you. Maybe during your next mating heat?”

Todd shakes his head. “We have to be really careful about that now,” he says. “Ironically, we don’t want anyone but me with him during his heats in case he catches. If Mal caught from me, it might mean we’ve just been very, very lucky in the past.”

Patton sits up. “Oh! Shoot.” He scowls. “Yeah, that sucks. Guess that means you’re off my mating heat menu, too. I do not want to catch. Not without a mate.”

We say our goodbyes and…

Yeah.

My mood is absolutely in the shitter.

But instead of going to the truck, Todd steers me around the walk to the omega house next door, B-House. There are lights on in the common rooms downstairs.

I immediately sense the different vibe in this house. Not a bad one, but instead of movies, there’s a multi-person shooter game on the big TV and four guys are playing. The decor is a little closer to funky, mismatched dorm stuff than matching “adult income” furniture pieces.

They’re all happy to see Todd, and they say they’re happy to meet me—everyone greets me with hugs and even the guys playing the game pause it to come over.

Then Todd says it. “Mal’s initiating. We just came from A-House…”

The guys, twenty-three of them, all listen, some of them immediately nodding as he retells what happens while I wish I could melt into the floor. My gaze drops to my shoes because I can’t stand the sympathy appearing in their faces.

George, who is the house’s “CO” for this month, turns to the residents while I turn to look out the window at the night.

They don’t need to tell me—I already know their answer. I tune out their soft discussion and fight the urge to flee.

Ironic, huh? I rebelled against my father at every turn growing up. Now, here I actively want to be part of this pack, would do anything to fit in, and…

Well, yeeeaaah.

Todd gently takes my arm and pulls me against his side. “Are you okay, baby?”

I can’t look up. I finally shake my head and hope they don’t mention the fact that I’m crying.

“Look, Mal,” George gently says, “I know how much you want this. But you already are pack, to us. I think Keith and Patton are right that it’s hormonal. I mean, if I don’t want to fuck Todd right now, you know it’s something…” He doesn’t finish.

“It’s okay, guys,” Todd says, filling the silence. “I understand.”

Todd hugs me, nuzzling the top of my head as I finally lose it, my breath hitching. “Take me home, please,” I whisper.

I don’t look up as he thanks the guys and steers me out the door and back to the truck. I curl up on the seat and stare out the window while he sends a text. “One more stop, baby,” he says and backs out of the parking space.

“I don’t want to visit other houses tonight,” I choke out. My ego’s been drop-kicked enough, thank you very much. “I want to go home, please.”

I might be a masochist, but I’m not that kind of masochist.

He doesn’t head toward home, though. We end up at Jax and Shawn’s. And Jax, Shawn, Mike, and Pavin are all standing outside when we pull up.

I get out, ashamed that I can’t stop crying, wondering what the fuck is so wrong with me that…

Yeah.

Pavin makes it to me first, wraps an arm around my shoulders, and hustles me inside. “It’s okay, Mal,” he says. “They aren’t rejecting you.”

“Sure as fuck feels like it.”