Page 19 of Bricked Up

Fidgeting with the ring on her index finger, Pamela cleared her throat and finally spilled.

“So, against my better judgment, I fucked around and fell in love with Jabari. Hell, I still love him if I’m being honest. But some people you can’t be with, no matter how much you love them.

Anyway, we started off just messing around, and the next thing I knew, we were in a full-blown relationship.

But it was strongly suggested by the boss at the time to steer clear of dating the customers.

So the plan was to keep shit private until I could finish paying for school. ”

“A’ight,” Saadiq nodded as he reached for his glass again.

“What did he do, screw you over? Threaten to expose you?” Saadiq wanted her to hurry up and get to the point.

But a part of him was intrigued by the suspense of it all.

Unfortunately, though, he had a feeling that she was about to confirm what had already crossed his mind when they were headed to her office.

“Kind of,” Pamela admitted, rubbing the bridge of her nose.

“Back during the early days of us messing around, which was about four and a half years ago, Jabari came in here one night drunk off his ass and angry as fuck. It was so bad that I took a sick day and took him home. Because I was worried about him, I stayed with him until the next morning to find out what had him so upset. He said it was you. Which shocked the fuck outta me because of how close ya’ll were.

Anyway, he just went off. Said he saw some chick first and that you took her from him.

He said he was tired of living in your shadow and living with the fact that you kept taking shit that belonged to him.

I asked him who the hell he was talking about, and he said some chick you were dating. ”

“Pam,” Saadiq sat up and held a hand up to cut her off. “Is that nigga the reason–”

“Saadiq, let me finish,” She cut him off as she reached for the joint that was in the rolling tray on her desk, lit it, and took a long hit.

“Jabari asked me to help set you up so the chick could think you cheated on her. I told him no, he broke up with me, and kicked me out. I’m close with the twins, but I never told them what happened.

After that, I didn’t see him until a couple years later.

He came in and apologized, and we picked up where we left off, and he never mentioned the shit again.

By then, I’d gone part-time to finish school and get my business degrees.

And I found out years later that he came up here on my off day to get the twins to help.

But one of the new girls here who also worked at the bank with the twins was ear-hustling and told him she’d do whatever for the right price. ”

Saadiq was growing more livid by the minute.

His patience was shot. He’d finally gotten his answer and was ready to go beat the dog shit out of Jabari’s ass.

While he was really ready for Pamela to wrap this shit up, he now had a question of his own.

“You knew what I came here for when you saw me, didn’t you? ”

She shook her head. “Not until you told me why you were here. I’m only telling you now because I think something happened to him that triggered his drinking, because he can’t cope.

I broke up with him for good a while back, but I still care for him.

I gave him more than a few chances before his behavior escalated to me having to break up with him and ban him.

And I think even back then, his anger was displaced toward the people he loved because he couldn’t get whatever help he needed. ”

“Or,” Saadiq began as he stood. “Maybe the nigga knew exactly what he was doing. Maybe he’s just showing his true colors and fully stepping into the shoes of the drunk he’s been trying to hide for years.

The only thing that nigga can’t cope with is his ability to root for others for fear of thinking somebody is gon’ do better or shine brighter than him.

He’s always been a jealous, spiteful son of a bitch, but I've always overlooked his shortcomings and never judged him. Until now.”

“But Saadiq, what if?—”

“Pam,” He sighed. “I’ve been where you are.

Jabari has crossed or hurt damn near everyone in our family, but a nigga like me just thought that if I supported, uplifted, and kept him encouraged, he’d get his act together.

Ya know, some folks need more help than others.

But other times, folks need to crash and burn on their own.

Hit rock bottom to appreciate those who were there for them during their storms. I appreciate you, but if I were you, I’d stay as far as fuck away from Jabari as possible. ”

“I can’t, Saadiq, I still love him.”

“That’s truly unfortunate for you.” Saadiq stood and exited Pamela’s office without another word.

“Damn nigga, so Jabari is really behind y’all’s demise.

Gotdamn bro, I ain’t see that shit coming.

You ain’t never not had that nigga’s back or supported him through whatever.

That’s fucked up, bro.” Truce said as he and Saadiq were back at Saadiq’s crib smoking blunts on the back porch.

Truce had brought over some extra crunchy Parmesan wings and potato wedges from Rumi’s Wing Basket around the corner before he pulled up to check on his homie.

After he left the strip club, Saadiq sped to Jabari’s crib only to find that he didn’t live there anymore.

After hitting up his aunt Mia’s house, Jabari’s mother.

She said that she hadn’t seen him and that he wasn’t there either, so he headed home.

He called a few family members on the way back, but nobody supposedly knew the nigga’s whereabouts.

So, while he called it a night on the search, he had folks still on the lookout for Jabari with instructions to hit him up at first sight.

“Yeah, man, shit is crazy. Jabari don’ really lost his gotdamn mind out here. I can’t believe that nigga is behind this shit. After all the shit I’ve done for that muthafucka. I helped that nigga when nobody wanted to do shit for his ass.”

“What you gon’ do when you find his ass?”

“I’on know, Truce,” Dazed, Saadiq shrugged as he scratched his chin. “Beat his ass and be done wit’ him.”

“If shit get outta hand,” Truce asked as he stuffed a couple of fries in his mouth as he watched Saadiq’s distant expression turn deadly. “You gon’ be able to do what the fuck you need to do?”

“Yeah, you know if that nigga don’t give me no other choice, I won’t hesitate or even blink. I’ll pull the muthafuckin’ trigger the first chance I get.”