Page 39
“Where is Logan’s family?” I whispered. My mind kept repeating he’s here, he’s here, he’s here.
My pulse raced. My fingers twitched. I wanted to run to him and climb him like a tree, beg him to let me move with him, apologize, and demand he love me forever.
All the thoughts fought for dominance, leaving me awkward and asking about the Harts instead.
He flushed and ran a hand over his face. “I convinced, no begged them to make a doughnut run.”
“Logan too? ”
He nodded, and his gaze moved from my face, down my legs, then back up.
He assessed me like he was looking for something, and whatever it was, he must’ve found it because his lips curved up a little.
“I love how you look first thing in the morning, no makeup on, hair a little wild, your eyes a little sleepy still. Definitely one of my favorite versions of you. I have a lot of them, but morning is one of the top.”
My breath caught in my throat, and my face warmed. “Oh, uh, thanks.”
He stepped toward me but froze, that smile shifting to a frown real quick. “Is it okay that I’m here? I’m sorry. I had this plan, and I realize you might be super uncomfortable, and fuck, I did this wrong.” He squeezed his eyes shut, and I couldn’t take it anymore.
I had to touch him, reassure him, undo the hurt I caused by fleeing. “Hey, no, no.” I jumped closer to him and wrapped my arms around him, feeling him tense for a second before he enveloped me in a hug. “I want you here. I always want you around. Please, please know that.”
He rested his chin on my head as we hugged, our hearts beating in unison and our breaths matching.
It was the most peace I’d ever felt in my life.
Preston was my person. He was my rock. He was my home regardless of where he lived.
He made me better. He made my life better.
I squeezed him as tight as I could as my breath went uneven and emotion clogged my voice.
“I don’t care where you live, I’m following you.
If you move into some penthouse, I’m living next door if I can’t convince you to let me come with you.
I don’t care if that makes me a little wild.
I love you. I love you so much it's hard to figure out when it happened or if I always have.”
“Hey, slow down.” He lifted his head from me and tipped my chin up to look at him. His eyes sparkled as he smiled. “If you’re going to say the words I’ve dreamed about, you’re going to look at me when you say them. Don’t deny me this fantasy, Jordan.”
“Your fantasy is me saying I’m gonna follow you wherever you go?”
“That’s part of it, yeah.” He licked the side of his lip, nodding. “Go on. Give me what I want to hear.”
“I feel like you’re being too bossy for a love declaration,” I said, but damn it, he kept making me smile. This was us. Teasing and being pains in the asses and loving each other. “Not sure you deserve to hear it now.”
“Jordan,” he said, exasperated. “I’ve been losing my mind since you walked out of the house. If there’s ever a time I need to hear it, it’s now.”
He was right.
“I love you. ” I cupped his jaw, letting my fingers drag over his face, and I was so glad I did.
I caught everything about his reaction. The slight widening of his eyes, the parting of his lips, the hope all over his face.
“I am hopelessly and foolishly and stupidly in love with you. I’m also terrified about it.
I’ve never said these words to anyone before, not like this.
It feels like I’m handing you my physical heart and hoping you like it.
” I gulped and swallowed the ball of emotion in my throat.
He stared at me in awe, like I was the best thing in the entire world, and that look gave me the courage to keep going.
“I have to work on myself. I realize that now, and I made an appointment with a therapist for next week. I want to work through my own shit so you don’t have me fucking running away when I get scared.
Because that’s what I did. I sprinted from you because if you were gonna leave me, I better leave first so it hurt less. ”
“Baby, that’s?—”
“It doesn’t matter now.” I grinned up at him, my eyes watery, and I pressed my lips softly against his jaw. “I’m following you. You’re mine now. I don’t really want to get married, but I know I want my life so intertwined with yours there is no doubt that we’re together.”
His eyes shuttered close as he leaned closer to me, resting his forehead against mine. His breath tickled my face, and we stood there, just like that. It could’ve been a minute, or an hour, but then he whispered, “You know I’m obsessed with you, right?”
“You can tell me about it more, if you want.”
He laughed and bent down and kissed me. Really kissed me. My stomach swooped, and my heart pretty much chanted mine, mine, mine, mine, and my knees did the silly little thing where I stumbled against him.
“God, I love that I can make your knees weak. The things it does to my head.”
I didn’t even blush. It was just true. Preston made my limbs stop working. “Do it again,” I begged. I wanted to be closer to him. Now that I had my epiphany, I never wanted to be away from him.
“I will, but patience. There’re a few things we gotta talk about first.”
“Stop being sensible when we could be kissing.”
He laughed, kissed my forehead, and led me to the table. “You make an excellent point, but you can wait a little while longer. You did leave me for an entire night, so consider this your payback.”
“I’m sorry,” I blurted out. “I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have?—”
“I’m not moving out.” He positioned our chairs so my legs were between his knees, and he held my hands.
“I was never really going to. I looked up one place, for ten minutes, after you said you wouldn’t date me.
To be completely explicit with you, I’ve been secretly in love with you for years.
Why do you think I never dated? Why do you think I haven’t hooked up with anyone? ”
“I thought… you did but not at the house.”
“No.” He smiled, his fingers grazing my wrist in a gentle way.
“I have wanted you, this, us, for years. I tried to hide it. If you think about it, you can see the signs, but Jordan, you have always been my endgame. And when I worked up the courage to ask you, and you said you couldn’t date me, I was desperate.
I wasn’t sure I’d survive living with you, seeing you every day, watching you with other guys…
” He made a face of horror. “It would kill me. So, after a weak moment, I filled out one application as a way to protect myself.”
“Preston,” I whispered, my voice watery. “Oh my god.”
“You don’t have to worry about your heart, baby.
I’ll take care of it. marriage or not. You’ve already owned mine for years, so it’s about damn time you give me yours.
” He kissed the back of my hand. “I’m sorry for scaring you though, for letting you think I would leave and not talk to you about it. I would never do that.”
“I know that now.” I nodded, but the tears came again. “I can’t believe… this is…I wish I knew sooner?”
“Nah. I know you. You weren’t ready.” He smiled, utter joy radiating off him.
“I knew I’d have one shot with you, but it had to be timed perfectly.
I knew you loved me as a friend, and I also knew you couldn’t ever handle losing me as a staple in your life.
I just had to prove to you somehow that it was worth us being more. ”
“I don’t know how I got so lucky. I feel like I don’t deserve you?—”
“None of that.” He scooted closer, his voice firming.
“Why would we not deserve each other? You’re the most selfless person I know.
You are a sassy, pain in the ass ray of sarcastic sunshine, and I fucking love you.
You’re wild and free and yourself all the time.
Your confidence is sexy as hell, and your smarts are even hotter.
There is no one, and I mean this, that I trust more.
If I had to hide a body, I’d call you first. Plan an entire event in secrecy during a blizzard?
You. Ideas for gifts, help with homework, if I was sad, upset, mad, frustrated.
The answer is always you. Now and forever, it’s always gonna be you. ”
I never realized how much I needed to hear those words. They were a security blanket. They were hope. They were everything.
And just like that, every wall, every defense shattered.
Table of Contents
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- Page 39 (Reading here)
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