Page 21

JORDAN

“ T his is probably a terrible idea, right?”

Preston stared at me for a beat before shrugging. “I’ve had worse, so it can’t be too bad.”

“We’re about to walk a mile in negative temperatures, over snow and ice.” I gulped. “I can’t let you get hurt, Charming. This is dangerous.”

“So cute you’re worrying about me,” he teased, winking before he put on his final piece of winter gear. We both had layers upon layers, hats and hoods, and those face coverings that only left your eyes uncovered. “Your event will kick ass, J, so let’s go.”

Preston opened the front door, and I followed, my throat aching from his determination to help me. When we were inside, I was distracted with worry about the event and all the final pieces. But now that we had a white landscape, my brain kept going back to him asking me out on a date.

God.

I was still in disbelief. I couldn’t remember the last time I went on a date that wasn’t just a hookup. Going on one with him…it would be a disaster .

But would it?

My throat filled with emotion as I watched him take the lead.

He held my hand and ensured me he’d make sure everything was safe before stepping onto it.

It should be the other way around. He was the hockey star, and I was not.

I had to take care of him. I tugged his hand, stilling him. “Let me go first.”

“Not a chance, J.” His eyes crinkled in a smile and then he kept on moving. “Watch your step here.” He pointed to a curb. I stepped in his footprints, once again torn over my feelings for this wonderful human.

Logan warned me about not hurting Preston, but he seemed fine after our chat. He didn’t look at me weird or glare or seem sad. He was still kind, protective, and perfect. I wanted to talk to her. She’d know what to do. She’d help me sort out my disaster of a mind.

Content with my plan to have my other best friend guide my life choice, I finally relaxed.

I hadn’t given Preston my answer yet and wouldn’t until I spoke with her.

While my heart told me it’d be foolish to say yes and even try, something tugged at me to say yes.

Almost like a fishhook landed in my gut, drawing me nearer to him.

But the second I thought about the possibility, my anxiety smacked me in the face, reminding me I was too much.

“This is gonna be an epic event. Just look at the rink right now.” Preston paused and let go of my hand, placing his in his pockets. “The trees covered in snow? It’s like a hockey holiday card.”

“It’s beautiful,” I mumbled, annoyed that I was in my head rather than in the moment. “We’ll have to clear the path to the parking lot and then toward the main entrance.”

“You already have it scheduled.” Preston’s hazel eyes found mine. His breath came out in puffs, clouds of condensation forming due to the cold. “You’ll want an event sign somewhere too. Something orange and blue. ”

“Got the supplies back at the house. I can place it there.” I pointed toward the curved path that took you either farther into campus or the rink. “I can’t believe we’re doing this. It seems…chaotic.”

“You love chaos though. Now, come on. Let’s go inside. I’m cold as fuck.”

We made the ten-minute walk toward the rink, taking our time and not falling. My eyes stung, and my face actually hurt from the cold. My bones trembled from the deep cold seeping in, but all that was forgotten when Preston opened the side door to the rink and ushered me in.

“Warmth! We made it!”

Preston chuckled but rubbed his hands together and blew into his fists. “Yeah, might’ve underestimated how bad that was. We can hang here for a bit and warm up before going back.”

“Great plan. We won’t…get in trouble here, will we?” I’d rather break my own bone than get Preston in trouble.

“Does that excite you, Jordan?” he asked, a glint to his eyes. “But no, I would never put you in a position that would harm you. I texted Coach, and he said it was totally fine.”

Relief spread through me, along with something warm and heavy in my chest. Preston meant those words with every part of his soul. He would never put me in harm’s way. My eyes prickled from the assurance and love coming from him.

Had he always been like this? So kind and thoughtful and amazing?

“Okay I gotta take some of this off.” He took off his hats and coat, leaving him in a long-sleeved hockey T-shirt. The bright orange and blue made his eyes sparkle somehow, and my breath left my lungs.

What was happening to me?

“Oh god, is there something on my face?” He frowned. “You’re staring at me weird. ”

“Sorry.” I blushed and took off my coat and hat, leaving my purple earmuffs and sweatshirt. “Nothing on your face, just thinking.”

“Main entrance is this way.” He held out a hand, then made a fist and shoved it in his pocket. “Let’s game plan from the welcome to the ice.”

Had he wanted to hold my hand but then changed his mind? Why?

Focus.

The event.

I shoved my thoughts away and reminded myself of what was at stake: my grade, my future, my mom’s attitude. All of that. “Yes, let’s do a walkthrough.”

We photographed the places where we could hang decorations, from the main doors down to the ice. It would look incredibly cool, especially with the additional lights we’d hang. Preston impressed the hell out of me.

“You’re good at this,” I said, my voice deeper than usual.

His gaze met mine as we stood right at the edge of the ice, something warm and soft crossing his face.

But then it was gone, and he shrugged. “I guess I like a little chaos too. It’s why hockey is so fun for me.

It’s organized chaos, and you’ve gotta lean on each other and work together. But thank you.”

He returned his attention back to the ice, and I missed having his attention on me. I didn’t know what that meant, and I hated the knot in my throat that kept returning. “You’re amazing,” I whispered, refusing to look at him. “Just, thank you for all of your help with this event.”

“Of course, J.”

“You could go into event planning or community relations, you know. You’re so good with people and organizing.”

The tips of his ears turned red, and he gave me a sheepish look. “I mean, I’ve never really thought about it. I figured I’d do sports management if hockey doesn’t work out.”

“Do you want hockey to work out though?”

I couldn’t believe I never asked these questions, that I didn’t know Preston’s deepest desires and dreams. Yet another reason why I’d be a shit person to date.

“You know, it’s weird. I do and I don’t.

” He stared at the ice, gripping the back of his neck.

“I’m good enough to have it be an option to play in the NHL, but it’d be a grind.

I’d start in minors and work my way up, if I was lucky.

I don’t…I’ve always felt I’d find my way back to it but not play professionally. ”

“I can’t imagine you not playing on the ice.” The thought actually made me sad. “It’s a part of you.”

“Yeah, it always will be.” He stared at me again, his gaze thoughtful and intense.

“When I think about two, three years from now, it’s not grinding in another city, fighting my way to earn starting time.

I’ve worked hard and taken care of my body for most of my life. I kinda want to—” He stopped, blushing.

“Wait, what were you gonna say?” I had to know. I scooted closer to him, fighting the urge to reach out. “What do you kinda want to do?”

“Coach.” He smiled softly, moving between me and the ice. “I love the idea of owning a program and doing what Coach Reiner has done here. I figured I’d start with a club team, find an assistant coach position at a college. I actually haven’t shared that with anyone.”

I lit up. I loved knowing he’d shared that with just me. “You’d be incredible in a coaching role. You take charge, and you take care of people. You radiate teamwork, Charming. Oh my, I can totally see you being a head coach somewhere.”

“Yeah?” He smiled. “Would you watch my games?”

“Of fucking course I would.” I beamed and said fuck it. I took his hand in mine and squeezed. “Why don’t you talk about it more?”

“Because I’m in the middle of my junior year season, where every waking thought is about hockey. Because I’m still not sure that’s a viable option.” He sighed and took his hand away from mine. “Because so much could happen in the next year, that I don’t know yet.”

“You have time to make a choice.” I hated how he let go of my hand. “You don’t have to decide now.”

He nodded, his shoulders stiffening. “What about you, Jordan? Where do you see yourself in three years?”

“In a nice condo, downtown Chicago. Working on events for celebrities or sports teams.” I could picture the exposed brick walls I’d dreamed of in my head.

The studio would overlook a lake, and I’d have plants everywhere.

“I kinda want to live where Logan ends up, but then I’d have to get a place where you lived too.

Fuck. I don’t want you guys to move away.

” My heart raced at the thought of me being alone, yet again.

And I would be, someday soon. My two closest people would move on and live their lives without me.

“That’s a long way away.” Preston’s tone held a hint of bitterness, almost like he was a little angry at me. But before I could ask, he changed his tune. “Enough of this future talk, let’s be irresponsible. I have a wild idea…”

Thirty minutes later, we were both in skates and on the ice. It had been a bit since I skated, but damn, it felt good to be active, even for a little bit. Preston looked like he flew on the ice, so smooth and effortless. I wasn’t nearly as good as he was, but I wasn’t bad.

“Figured it’d be better to go over the layout while on the scene.” Preston came to a stop right by, his familiar scent of cologne and soap wafting around me. He always smelled so damn good .

“We could put the carpets here.” I skated from the main stairs to where he was, letting our earlier conversation disappear into the back of my mind. I could analyze it later. “Then we can place carpets for each of the tables.”

“We’ll need servers on skates though.” Preston frowned. “I hadn’t thought about that. How will we get food to the tables?”

I chewed my lip, visualizing the event in my mind.

“We could have people skate, yes, or we have a buffet-style setup right here.” I skated toward the opposite side of the rink.

“Definitely layered in carpet. It depends on how much food the cafeteria can provide for us. That’ll have to be a game-time decision. ”

“Podium would go…” Preston skated toward the center. “Here, yeah?”

“Yes.” I pulled up my phone and went through my list. We’d talked about everything on there already. “I think we’re good. As good as we’re gonna get for this.”

My phone buzzed, a group chat with our housemates.

Quentin: Theo donated five thousand already. His teammates are following suit.

Logan: OMG this is amazing!

Quentin: Cal Holt heard about the night and is also donating.

Logan: My parents and sister are planning on coming with us tomorrow to help out. Put the Harts to work, J.

My eyes prickled again, overcome with emotion and gratitude. I didn’t deserve this kindness, and everyone was being so helpful. My nose stung, and I sniffed, alerting Preston.

“This is amazing news,” he said, his voice excited. “Hey, are you crying? What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” I wiped under my eyes and pocketed my phone. “I’m gonna skate for a minute.”

I didn’t wait for his response before taking off, the muscles in my legs burning as I pushed faster.

I hated how I had this response to people being kind.

It was normal to have people want to help you when needed.

I’d do the same for anyone of these people, yet it felt too heavy when it was toward me.

Why did my parents have to fuck me up so much?

My breath came out in pants, and after a few minutes of skating, I felt Preston catch up to me. “What are you doing?” I shouted over my shoulder.

“Letting you have a moment, then we’re gonna talk.”

“No, thank you.” I went faster, but it was silly to try. Preston could outskate me with his eyes closed and one skate missing. He reached for my hand, but I yanked it out of his grip, smiling at the challenge on his face. “Dare you to catch me.”

“Oh, Jordan. You beautiful na?ve friend. This won’t end well for you.”

I winked and took off again, darting left, then right. The skates clashed against the ice, the cold air rushed my face, but I barely made it ten yards before Preston’s arm looped around my middle. His warmth surrounded me, and I leaned into him, just for a second. “Damnit, Charming.”

“You know better.” He smiled at me, continuing to hold me against him as we approached the bench. “Now, sit and talk.”

“That was a little bossy.”

“Mm hmm.” He placed his hands on his hips, his gaze hardening. “Why were you sad? Is it the event?”

“No.” I groaned into my hands. “It’s because I’m fucked up, alright? Everyone is being so nice and helpful to me, and I don’t know why. I don’t feel worthy enough to have Theo Sanders donate to this cause! Logan’s family just willingly spending a day to help me? I’m not used to it.”

He crouched down and placed his hands on my knees, waiting for me to meet his gaze before speaking.

“You expect everyone to treat you like your mom. I understand that, Jordan. But we love you, and this is what you do for people you love and care about. You’ve also done incredible things for all of us.

You’ve cleaned the entire Hart house when they were sick and couldn’t move.

You’ve made them meals. You’ve stayed the night with Logan’s sister when her parents had to work.

You’ve helped me in a million and one ways, and so we do it back because that’s what you do. ”

Those damn annoying tears hit me again, and I took a shaky breath. “This event has me emotional and stressed.”

“It’s okay that you’re feeling those things, but as your friend who loves you, I can’t let you dismiss these feelings. You deserve more. I don’t know what it’ll take for you to leave your worries behind you, but it’s my and Logan’s job to make you feel safe.”

“You do. Both of you do.”

“I’m glad.” A pained look crossed his face, where his gaze turned sad and his jaw flexed, but then his expression relaxed. “Then let’s get back and warm the fuck up. I’m freezing my ass off here.”