Page 2

PRESTON

W atching my closest friend walk up to a shitty-ass bar, wearing an outfit that showed too much of her curves, caused my pulse to race.

Jordan was wild. It was one of the things that I liked about her.

She laughed like she didn’t give a fuck and lived how she wanted.

Her ability to live life how she wanted was sexy and freeing—something I really couldn’t figure out how to do.

She was addicting to be around with her free spirit, but sometimes, like now, she made dumb choices, and Logan and I couldn’t talk her out of them.

Jordan was hot as hell, knew it, and people gravitated toward her.

So even if her date wasn’t a shitbag, other people in the bar would hit on her, approach her.

It was tough being supportive of her adventurous ways, knowing she could take care of herself while also wanting to protect her. Trying to find the right balance was exhausting. I pinched the bridge of my nose, debating what to do.

I could head back to the house and text some of the guys to hang out. We lost last night, so everyone was in a bad headspace. Not exactly up for a party or a good time. Jordan was my video game buddy, and playing without her wasn’t as fun .

My brother texted that he wanted to talk, but I put that off too.

I knew why he wanted to discuss our holiday plans.

Our parents were getting divorced after twenty-five years and selling our childhood home.

Yet, they constantly pushed me to focus on hockey and my future in the NHL.

They wanted me to have a determined plan and answer, and I just didn’t have that.

I wanted to coach some days… other days, I couldn’t imagine not playing.

I knew I had to pick a damn path, but there was too much going on around me.

So, despite my dad asking for an update on my future, I ignored him.

I wanted to respond with “If you guys spent less time worrying about me, then maybe your marriage wouldn’t fucking be falling apart.” But I would never do that.

The physical ache behind my heart gutted me at the thought of our family changing.

We wouldn’t celebrate Christmas with the four of us for the first time ever. We’d have to do two holidays, separately. Fuck. How would I be able to focus on our hockey tournament, the existential crisis of what I wanted to do in life, and my family disaster?

I hopped out of the truck and charged inside the bar. I’d sit at the bar, have a drink, and make sure Jordan was fine. I didn’t want to be alone right now, and a distraction sounded kinda nice.

The second I walked in, I sensed something was off.

The air shifted, and I immediately searched for Jordan.

She sat on a high-top chair, her long legs on clear display despite it being cold outside.

Some punk ass sat across from her ogling her with a stupid-ass goofy smile.

I got it. She was fucking hot, but I bet he had no idea how smart or kind she was either.

Annoyance worked its way down my spine. I hated how she was doing this dating thing to get it out of her system. It was a double standard because the guys on the team behaved like this, and no one gave a shit. The issue was I had a secret crush on her.

A drink would help.

She didn’t see me, but I headed to the bar and plopped down. It wasn’t exactly relaxing since I was on edge, listening to the chatter around me. I grew up with a sixth sense almost, always knowing when to leave a party before the cops showed up. It felt like that now.

“Want a drink, handsome?”

“Draft of a Guinness, please,” I said, glancing over my shoulder as Jordan laughed louder.

“You got it.” The bartender was pretty and leaned over the bar, showing her ample cleavage. “You don’t visit here.”

“Nah, I really don’t.”

“Pitty. Could use more pretty guys like you. I’m sick of the rough jackholes who come in here and start fights.” She jutted her chin toward the group of men in a booth near Jordan. “I’ve kicked those fuckers out three times this year, yet they’re back.”

“Kicked them out why?”

“Fighting. Causing a scene.” She tapped the bar top before pushing off. “This is my bar, and while I like a little roughness, it’s getting old.”

She grabbed a glass and poured my drink, but my mind was on how close the men were to Jordan. If they started a scene, she’d get hit.

The bartender barely set the glass down as Jordan’s laughter filled the room. Every guy at the bar glanced at her, smiling as they took their time checking her out. I tore up the napkin in front of me, needing to do something with my hands as my stomach tightened.

I loved that laugh. It was carefree and throaty. I used to think only I could make her laugh like that, but I was so wrong. She was just loud and amused all the time .

It was exhausting to have feelings for your closest friend, who truly only viewed you as a buddy. She flirted with me, always, but that was who she was.

And it wasn’t like I could offer her much right now if I wanted to pursue her.

My family life was a mess, I was avoiding all of them, and the hockey season was in full swing, so I had zero time.

Plus, I had no idea what I wanted in the future, and my parents wouldn’t come to games together anymore, yet they were constantly putting pressure on me to play better. All of it fucked with my head.

So yeah, I was a creeper, making sure Jordan was safe while avoiding my mess of a life. What a fun Saturday night for me. I sipped the beer as a thud and a slam of a glass rang out.

“What was that, you fucker?”

“Fuck you!” an angry voice roared back.

“Jesus, not again.” The bartender grabbed a bat and marched toward the table, her face set in anger.

I hopped off the stool, immediately seeking Jordan out, who’d jumped from her chair.

Her eyes were wide as her date uselessly remained sitting.

The group of rowdy guys tossed beer bottles into the air, the glass shattering right near Jordan as she reared back and ran into a large dude with a leather vest.

“Watch yourself!” he yelled, gripping her arms and shoving her away.

Seeing his hands on her arms did me in.

“Jordan, let’s go,” I barked, closing the distance between us in four short steps. Her lips parted in shock. “Come on.”

I grabbed her hand and led us toward the exit, all while the sounds of fighting grew louder. My pulse raced, and I didn’t care if there were photos of us leaving this place. I didn’t give a shit about anything but keeping her safe.

“What are you even doing here?”

“We can talk in the truck.” My voice came out harsher than I meant, but my adrenaline was spiking. “Get in.” I yanked the door open, and when she didn’t move, I picked her up, hand on her ass, and pushed her in.

“Preston, what the hell?”

The entrance to the bar burst open, the fight moving toward the parking lot. This was the reputation of this place that I’d heard about for years. The previous seniors on the team warned us about here, and it held true to the rumors.

I quickly got in and was on the road within thirty seconds. My heart fucking raced, and I gripped the wheel tight, my throat working twice as hard to swallow as my feelings meshed together. “Why the fuck did you go there, knowing that fights happen?”

“I didn’t think one would, but seriously, why were you there?”

“I told you it would. It’s a shitty place, yet you go there anyway.

Are you that fucking desperate for attention?

Why? Why go there when you could’ve been hurt?

” I hated myself for letting my anger and frustration come out at her.

I wasn’t an asshole, even though my words sure made me sound like one. “I want you safe. ”

“Going for the low blow, huh? Sure, I am desperate for attention. You’re right. That’s me.” She crossed her arms and faced the window, her tone icy and hurt.

“Jordan, please,” I swallowed the urge to yell again. “I’m sorry I said that.”

“No, you’re not. You mean it. You’ve been judging me the last few months for dating and putting myself out there. You think I’m some slu?—”

“No, I fucking don’t. Don’t you finish that sentence.” Was that what she thought? Truly? That I was judging her? I thought for sure she realized I had a crush on her and wanted her to try dating me .

“Hey, that wasn’t fair of me either. I know you don’t think that.” She sighed and covered her face with her hands. “I get defensive when I’m embarrassed or scared. It was easier to attack you than admit you were right. I shouldn’t have gone there, okay?”

All the anger slipped out of me, and I wanted to pull her into a hug.

Maybe it was a good thing I was driving.

I reached over and gripped her knee, letting my fingers linger longer than I was supposed to.

“That was a little scary, and our adrenaline is high. We both said things in the heat of that.”

“Why were you there though?”

“Why do you think?” I laughed, squeezing her thigh one last time. “I needed to know you were safe, J. That place is known for bad shit, and I couldn’t drop you off without seeing you were fine.”

“So you were going to what… watch me on my date, make sure I was okay?” she asked, her voice small.

“Yes.” I swallowed the uncomfortable tension again.

“What if we made out or did something?”

“What about it?” I asked through gritted teeth. “I’d ensure you consented. If you said no, and he kept going, then I’d kill him.”

“Hm.” She took a deep breath before smiling. “This protective Preston is kinda hot.”

“Stop. Don’t do that, please.” This woman would be the death of me. Truly.

“Don’t tell you it’s hot that you were ready to protect me? I love it, Charming. No one in my life really gives a shit about me except you and Logan.”

“While that might be true, I wouldn’t have to protect you if you weren’t so reckless.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.

“Sometimes I wonder if I’m like this because all I wanted was my mom’s attention.

Then I feel weird because I’m twenty-one years old with mom issues.

I should be over them and all that but then I do stupid shit like this. ”

“You’re not the only one,” I mumbled, scrubbing a hand over my face.

“What? Your family is perfect.”

“Not really.” I turned the corner toward our street, adjusting the heat in the car as Jordan shivered. Another flicker of annoyance grated me that she hadn’t worn a coat.

“What does that mean? Preston, you tell me everything.”

Not everything. “My parents are getting a divorce. They told us a few weeks ago, and I’m not handling it well.”

“Why didn’t you say anything? I never would’ve gone out if I knew. Preston, I’m so sorry. What do you need? What can I do? Snacks? Movie? Video games?”

This was the version few people knew about Jordan. She’d give me the clothes off her back if I told her it’d make me feel better. She was a caretaker to a small group of people in her life, and I never wanted to be removed from that circle.

“I don’t know.” I parked in the driveway and took off my jacket. “Here, wear this when we walk inside. You’re barely wearing anything.”

“I can run. I’m fine.” She frowned at me as I held the jacket between the two of us, her large blue eyes wide and filled with worry. “I hate that you didn’t tell me this. We tell each other everything.”

We exited the car and walked inside, then I hung the jacket up on the closet door. Logan must’ve had a candle going because it smelled like Christmas, but Jordan’s question lingered in the air.

“I honestly avoided thinking about it. Haven’t texted my brother or parents back. I have no idea what we’re doing for the holidays, and it makes me sad.”

“Preston, honey.” She hummed and sighed at the same time. It was this thing she always did that made it sound like she was about to break out into song, but she’d just nod. It charmed me in every single instance.

“Don’t look at me like that.” I rubbed my chest, the pang growing near my heart by the second. Talking about my family caused it, along with the fact she’d never view me as anything other than her best guy friend. “I’ll deal with it my own way.”

“What is the point of having friends then if they don’t help you with the hard shit?” She wrapped her arms around my shoulders, our faces a foot apart as she stared hard at me. “You are such a good human, Preston Charming. Let me help you. Tell me what would distract you most.”

You.

I wanted to say it. If I was brave or bold enough, I’d say it and then kiss her.

But I wasn’t that bold with Jordan. To everyone else I was but never with her.

I swallowed the thought, pushed the uneasy feelings about my family away, and jutted my head toward the TV.

“Few hours of video games. Rocket League .”

“You got it. Let me change real quick and then it’s on.”

She kissed my cheek and squeezed me before disappearing upstairs. I watched her, like a damn sap, when Logan walked out of the kitchen.

“You ever gonna tell her?”

“Tell her what?” I asked, despite knowing what she meant.

She arched a brow and smirked. Logan and Jordan had been best friends their entire life, and the three of us had always been a close trio—we brought in Logan’s boyfriend and my teammate Quentin Hawthorne the last few months, who was also our housemate. It was like a mini reality show .

“Your feelings.” She clicked her tongue. “Don’t miss your shot.”

“I don’t have a shot, Logan, and you know it.” The uncomfortable knot wedged itself in my chest again. “She’ll never settle.”

“I’m not saying it’ll be easy, but it’d be worth it.”

She might be right, but that wasn’t that helpful. I’d have to continue doing what I’d done for the last year—pretend I wasn’t secretly in love with my best friend.