Page 71 of Breaking Point (IceHawks #1)

Bella

BELLA

I never thought I’d miss a confessional as much as I do

I wish you could text me back, Mom

“ B ella, please.”

Even his whiny voice makes anger flare in my veins.

“No!” I snap. “You don’t deserve to fucking be here!”

He holds out his hands in innocence, and all it does is rile me up further. I don’t let go of Grayson’s hand as I take a step forward and spit, “I hope you fucking rot in hell for what you did.”

“It’s my biggest regret. I regretted it the moment?—”

A scream rips from me. “You could have come back!”

“The damage was already done, Bella?—”

“You’re a fucking coward.”

He hangs his head as if in shame.

“I still don’t even hear an apology from you.” I bark out a laugh, but it’s manic if anything. “You’re the most pathetic person I’ve ever met, and I’m ashamed to say you’re my father.”

“I understand why you’re angry. But Bella, the doctors?—”

I tear off, getting right in his face until he’s forced to move back.

“I know exactly what the doctors said. You want to know why? Because when you left, someone had to step up and that for sure as shit wasn’t going to be your coward ass, so it was me , Dad.

” My voice breaks. “It was me that was there for every doctor appointment and hospital visit. It was me holding her hair back while she vomited from chemotherapy. It was me holding her as she wept in the house you abandoned her in. It was all me !”

My chest is heaving, rising and falling wildly. I’ve never felt such malice toward another human, but when I look at him all I see is the pain and destruction he left in his wake. As he took the coward’s way out and let his daughter take care of everything.

My voice cracks as I whisper, “I hate you for what you did and I’ll never look at you the same.”

He wrings his hands, his dark hair, peppered with gray, fluttering in the wind. “You’re right, I was scared of what would happen but I’m back now and?—”

“That’s enough.”

Grayson cuts him off, his voice cold as ice as he steps forward—between me and the man who was my father.

He raises his eyes to Grayson and I’m surprised to see a flash of anger there. “I’m having a private conversation with my daughter?—”

“No, you’re not. This is done. If you wish to spew bullshit write a note and mail it.”

His eyes widen…in recognition.

Grayson must see it too because his lip curls back. “Don’t even think about going there.”

Joseph’s head rears back. “Just let me speak to my daughter then.”

“I said no. You’ve done enough damage and I’m not going to let you run your mouth and do more.”

The iciness in his tone, the defensiveness—it makes my heart leap with a fierce wave of confidence. I feel a small hand at my back, and I don’t have to turn to know it’s Layla also showing support in the only way she can in this fucked-up situation.

A muscle ticks in his jaw. “Fine then. At least let me discuss the will and the house?— ”

Grayson and I rear back in unison, both of us shocked at the words that just came out of his mouth.

“What the fuck did you just say?” Grayson all but growls.

My father has the stupidity to glare at the man that’s several heads taller than him. “I said I need to discuss property matters?—”

“You’re not getting a cent,” I snarl, coming to stand beside Grayson and not behind. “Mom changed her will to what it should rightfully be, and you don’t deserve a penny for what you did.”

Shock blazes across his features. “I’ll contest it?—”

Grayson steps forward. “Do that and I’ll put you in a fucking body bag.”

My eyes flare with shock at his pure venom.

My father, at least, has the wits to finally pale. “M-my name is on the mortgage,” he stutters.

“Then name your price and run off into whatever hole you crawled out of.”

I gasp. “Grayson, no.”

He turns to me then, and the coldness that was shining in his blue depths at Joseph morphs into something so tender and soft when he looks at me it steals my breath.

“Do you want him in your house?” he asks simply.

“No. He doesn’t deserve to be there, not after what he did.”

Grayson just dips his head before returning his glare to the smallest man who ever lived. “Then name your price.”

“I can’t let you?—”

Grayson ignores me. “Name your price,” he repeats.

“Two million,” my father blurts.

Layla and I gasp in unison. The house isn’t worth that. It’s worth less than half of?—

“Done.”

My eyes widen as I look to Grayson.

“I’ll send you a check.”

Two million.

My father looks from my stunned face to Grayson and purses his lips .

I wait for him to apologize to me. Wait for the words I deserve to hear, the begging he should be doing to try and have a relationship with his daughter, but that doesn’t happen.

He turns, walking away.

Like I’m the easiest thing in the world to walk away from.

Is that the only reason he came today? To get the house and access to Mom’s bank account?

“He was bought,” I whisper.

Before I can stop myself, I let go of Grayson’s hand for the first time today and run.

“Hey!” I snap.

Joseph turns, and I can’t help but see that there’s a small glimmer of glee in his eyes.

Who the fuck did I grow up with? Who even is this man standing before me?

“When you get that money, I want you to never contact me again.” He opens his mouth but I lift my hand. “You are far from the father I grew up with. I never want to see you for as long as I live.”

I expect him to refuse the money, to pick me over his own selfishness, but unfortunately the universe thinks I haven’t learned the life lesson enough. You don’t always get what you want.

“Okay,” he whispers. Lifting his head, he points at Grayson. “I want the check by Monday.” And with that he walks away, taking my last shred of hope that my father would be there by my side when I needed him.

Tears are filling my eyes once more and all it takes is Grayson catching one look at the pain engulfing me before he’s running.

“Grayson, no!” I call out.

But it’s too late.

He taps my father on the shoulder. “One last thing. You’re a piece of shit .” He throws his fist into Joseph’s face, making blood spray from his nose.

G rayson winces as I gently lay the ice pack on his hand.

“Anderson is going to kill you if this ruins how you play in next week’s game.”

He shrugs. “Once he finds out why I punched the son of a bitch, I don’t think he’ll have much to say besides clapping me on the back.”

I arch a brow. “Look at you, punching two people in two weeks over me already.”

His smile is devilish with a hint of that blush I’ve been craving to see. “I’ll stop punching people when they stop saying stupid shit.”

I roll my eyes.

The silence stretches, the house for once quiet as everyone’s out, seemingly giving us privacy.

Grayson’s gaze turns pensive. “I should be the one taking care of you today.” He takes the ice pack from my hands. “Not the other way around.”

“You have been,” I respond softly. No words could ever convey how much Grayson stepped up the moment I got that phone call. Even before that, he’s been here for me. “Thank you.”

“Nothing to thank me for.”

“Most men would have run.”

“Those who do are cowards.”

My lips thin. “That they are.”

Grayson’s gaze locks with mine and there’s a flicker of emotion in them I can’t decipher. “I have something for you…from your mom.”

My back snaps upright. “From my mom?”

He nods. “She asked me to give it to you after the funeral.”

As if he’s been waiting for the right moment, Grayson rounds the kitchen bench, opening the cupboard to his office and printing supplies. Pulling out a small black box with gold trim work around the lid, he walks toward me like he’s carrying the most precious thing in the world.

“She was working on it the past two months.”

“What is it?”

His swallow is audible as he holds out the box. “Take a look for yourself.”

A lump rises in my throat. My heart is racing, my mouth suddenly dry as my shaky hands lift to clasp it. Just the mere knowledge of knowing this was something my mom touched has the back of my eyes burning.

The kitchen fills with the sound of my gasp.

In the box, there are labeled letters, written in my mom’s telltale cursive handwriting.

Engagement.

Wedding.

30 th birthday.

40 th birthday.

50 th birthday.

My grandbabies.

My passing.

For when you need my love.

For when you miss me.

For when you need a hug.

For when you’re pregnant.

For when you’re postpartum.

All the control in the world can’t stop the tears from freefalling down my cheeks.

“So she never had to say goodbye,” I whisper and smile.

Grayson’s hand lands on my back as he wraps me in his arms, careful not to touch the box. “She was writing every chance she could.”

“I can see that. Her hand must have cramped like crazy.”

Grayson snorts behind me. “I had to give her hand massages all the?—”

Spinning, my wide eyes lock on his. “You helped her?”

“Of course. ”

My lip wobbles as new tears spring into my eyes. “Thank you.”

He lowers his head, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “You never have to thank me for this.”

“I don’t even know where to begin. There’s so many.”

He rubs soothing circles along my back, his touch warming my skin. “Take your time.”

I flick through them, hoping and yet dreading that she wrote one for today. I pause once I see the big cursive F , but I can’t bring myself to read the word. Funeral. It’s morbid to know my mom wrote a letter to me for this day.

How must she have felt? Knowing that death was coming for her and she couldn’t stop it?

Was she panicked? Or did she somehow find a way to feel peace before death claimed her soul?

I suppose the only one who will ever know for sure is her, and maybe Charlotte if she looked at her face as she passed.

But I haven’t been able to bring myself to ask those questions yet.

All it will accomplish is stretching out the wide hole in my heart from the guilt that I wasn’t there when she went and that I’ll never get to have my goodbye.

But at least my mom got hers.

Gently plucking the letter out of the box, I ask, “Can you stay with me? While I read it?”

“Of course. Whatever you need.”

I’m quiet for a moment, letting his words sink in and hoping he means them wholeheartedly. “Why didn’t you leave?”

His arms tighten around me. “Because you’re my other half. I wouldn’t be whole without you.” He presses a featherlight kiss to my temple. “You deserve someone who stays, Bella.”

“Thank you for being that person.”

Grayson pulls back, turning me to face him, and the look of confusion has me pausing. “You don’t see it, do you?”

“See what?”

“How much I love you.”

“Do you really mean that? Those are big words?—”

“I do, and I’ll continue to prove to you that I love you every day until you realize how much you mean to me.

That even the world ending couldn’t tear me away from you, because the love I have for you is all-consuming.

” His gaze softens. “For as long as you’ll have me, I’ll prove to you every day the love you deserve because I am unconditionally and irreversibly in love with you.

” He smiles down at me, brushing his finger down my cheek.

“And I don’t need to hear it back from you. I’ll wait however long you need.”