Page 41 of Breaking Point (IceHawks #1)

Grayson

GRAYSON

if you eat all of Bella’s muffins before I can even have one again

I’ll force coach to make you do suicides at practice

KIERAN ASHFORD

the gasp I just gasped

you’re a harsh man cap

GRAYSON

I’m not your captain

KIERAN ASHFORD

says literally no one but you

GRAYSON

and coach

The man who makes those decisions

T his is no longer an infatuation.

Though I don’t think it ever was. I think my body knew the moment I saw her standing in my living room blinking up at me with those gorgeous round brown eyes that Bella and I were meant to be together.

I think my heart knew that the electricity between us was once in a lifetime.

And I hate that these are the circumstances we’ve met on, that Bella desperately wants to keep the line of employer and something else separate.

Like last night. After Bella pulled my head down to continue kissing her, she yanked herself away after ten minutes like I had burned her, that line firmly back in place.

But perhaps, if I show her how good it could be, she could see that this should never have been fake in the first place.

I’m antsy as I wait for her in the kitchen the next morning. Antsy because I finally acknowledged why I’m always so desperate to seek out my assistant and why, when I jerk off in the shower, it’s always her face that pops into my mind.

The kiss last night was extraordinary, and the one before that.

I can’t ignore how she makes me feel because I want to kiss her every chance I get.

I want to cook with her and listen to her hum music under her breath.

I want to go out with her and run away from people at a carnival and hide in photo booths.

I want to count her freckles as I lie in bed with her.

I want to make memories with Bella.

But my gut screams at me not to tell her, that the moment I do she will run, so I’ll play it safe and slow for now. It’s going to go against every instinct within my body, but at this point, it would be torture to not try.

“Dude, are you okay?” Kieran asks suddenly.

“Hmm? Yeah, of course, why?”

Kieran lounges on my couch, side-eyeing me.

“Stop checking me out.”

“Why are you so wound up?” His eyes widen. “Is this because it’s your first away game since last season?”

I scoff, making myself busy so he doesn’t notice that I can’t stop pacing. “I’m not wound tight, and this is just like any other game.”

“Then why are you pacing?”

Fuck.

“I’m not pacing…I’m doing the dishes.”

As I round the kitchen island, Kieran pushes himself up to point out, “The imaginary dishes? Crawford, there are none.”

Our eyes lock, my brain wracking through a million different things that could get me away from his knowing gaze, but I come up short. I panic and blurt, “Not yet, I’m putting the clean ones away.”

Except when I open the dishwasher, it’s empty.

Why is Bella so good at her job?

I can’t even find a lone spoon or cup to corroborate my story. I don’t want Kieran watching me like a hawk when Bella gets here. If he knows that I’m interested in her… God, if he knew we kissed outside of the arrangement, he would have a field day .

I don’t want Bella running. She ran when we just initiated the conversation about fake dating, so I don’t know why she ended up agreeing to do it. I can’t even imagine her reaction if I opened up and told her I’m starting to catch feelings.

Now I’m putting away fake glasses and cups because I can’t tell my best friend I’m falling for my assistant and fake girlfriend.

What has my life become? If Drew were here, he’d laugh his ass off.

The front door opens and closes and my entire body freezes before I force myself to relax under Kieran’s watchful blue eyes. That bastard can sniff out every emotion in the book. If he didn’t go pro for hockey, I have no doubt he could have become a detective.

Kieran has a shit-eating grin on his face as he sings, “Well, well, well, if it isn’t my biggest fan. Need me to sign something for you today?”

“Ha ha. Going to use that one against me until the day I die?” Bella rolls her eyes. “I suppose you’ll have to because there isn’t anything else to indicate any female adores you.”

Kieran scoffs. “On the contrary, I have a hundred DMs to prove your claims wrong.”

“Ew.” Bella’s nose scrunches up. “That’s not something to gloat about.”

He nestles back into the sofa, digging his hand into the box of Froot Loops that I swear just magically appeared. “You’ll fall for me one day.”

“I highly doubt it.”

Bella places her purse on the counter, giving me a quick flash of a grin before averting her eyes.

Kieran straightens, then jumps up suddenly after watching the quick interaction, Froot Loops flying everywhere as he points between us. “You two fucked! Oh my god, I called it! Lucy owes me dinner.”

In the next heartbeat, a shoe is flying for his head.

He ducks just in time but Bella charges over to him, her other sneaker in hand, which she uses to whack him on the arm. “You were dropped as a child! What is wrong with you? You can’t go blurting that out!”

Kieran glares in my direction. “Come get your woman!”

Bella growls low in her chest as she finds new vigor and continues to chase him around the living room with the sneaker.

Chuckling at the scene playing out before me, I shrug helplessly. “Sorry man, have my hands full with the dishes.”

Bella huffs, throwing her shoe at his head before turning on me. “Tell your dimwit of a friend that I did not sleep with my boss .”

I can’t help but laugh. “I think you have the situation sorted just fine.”

Spinning on her heel, she snatches up her sneakers and points them at Kieran like a weapon. “We didn’t sleep together. You know this is a fake arrangement.”

She calls it fake, and yet the two times we’ve kissed have been in private, with no true reason to kiss one another. I knew she would be avoiding me coming in here today, but I didn’t expect this reaction.

I’m surprised that I’m genuinely hurt by her words, my chest utterly crumbling. “Kieran, we should probably go, otherwise we’ll miss our flight,” I find myself saying. Moving through the room, I avoid Bella’s gaze as I snatch up my duffel.

“ Oookay ,” Kieran drawls out. Jumping up, he says sincerely to Bella, “Sorry about the cereal everywhere and sorry for…assuming.”

“Thank you,” I hear Bella say, and yet for some reason, I feel like her eyes are on me the entire time .

Lifting my chin, I look somewhere over her shoulder, not wanting to face how stupid I’m being for feeling hurt over a comment that is true. “I’ll be back in four days. You only need to come in the mornings to grab the mail and any packages that arrive. Besides that, take time off.”

“Oh, okay. Thanks, Grayson.”

At my name, my eyes flick to her face. I can’t help it, I’m a moth to her flame.

Our gazes clash and hold, like they always do. I have a million things to say and yet no words come to me.

“Do you want me to pick you up from the airport when you land?” Bella asks instead.

That stumps me. I’ve never had an assistant pick me up before. “That would be nice.”

She dips her chin and pivots, making her way to the kitchen, only to stop in her retreat. A small gasp flies from her mouth, and I even hear Kieran whistle under his breath.

“Grayson, are those…”

“Red and yellow gummy bears,” I finish for her.

She doesn’t take her eyes off them as she whispers, “In a jar.”

“Yes.”

“For me?”

“Yes.”

She’s still, her entire body like a statue. Without taking my gaze off Bella, I call over my shoulder, “I’ll meet you in your car, Kieran.”

I stride across the room, an apology on the tip of my tongue for…I’m not sure what reason, but despite my hurt feelings I don’t want her to hurt?—

My thoughts cease as I find tears streaming down her cheeks.

The duffel in my hand drops to the floor as I dart forward, placing my hands on her arms and rubbing them up and down in a soothing motion. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry. The opposite actually. But I can take it back if?—”

She leaps, burying her face in my T-shirt as she wraps her arms around my waist and squeezes. “No one has ever done something so thoughtful for me before. Thank you. ”

I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until it escapes me in a rush. “These are tears of joy?”

She coughs out a laugh. “Yes.”

Taking the opportunity for what it is—a blessing—I wrap my arms around her too and bury my face in her neck, soaking up the way her body melts perfectly against mine. I made her cry tears of joy. Usually I don’t love claiming that I make girls cry, but this must count for something, right?

Bella is the first to step away from the embrace, the lack of her warmth like stepping into Antarctica, her retreat a jolt to my system.

“Good luck with your games. I’ll see you at the airport,” she blurts, then rushes from the room.

Turning to the large jar sitting on the kitchen island, the cause for my sudden whiplash, I scratch my head and frown.

I thought she liked it?

The phone in my hand remains silent. No messages. No calls. No updates.

I haven’t heard from Bella in two days .

She sent me a congratulations message when we won our first away game, but I’ve received radio silence ever since. I was even a big enough stalker to check my Ring camera and she hasn’t been to the house.

I don’t care about the job or the packages piling up, I care about her .

This isn’t like Bella—she’s reliable and she’s smart and she’s hard working.

I may not care what duties do or don’t get done, but she does.

She takes her work seriously, so the fact she hasn’t returned any of my calls or stopped by my house speaks volumes.

“Crawford, get your head out of the clouds,” Coach Anderson barks from across the locker room .

“Sorry, sir.”

It pains me, physically pains me to put my phone back in my bag and pay attention to Coach as he gives us our pre-game pep talk. He still hasn’t appointed anyone else to be captain and I doubt any of the guys would accept it even if he tried.

I gave the pep talk for the previous game, but my heart isn’t in it tonight. It would be a load of bullshit and they would feel it—they’re already feeling it. Everyone has given me a wide berth tonight, all the while giving me pitiful, worried glances.

They probably think I’ve fallen off the wagon again. I haven’t—I’ve been doing Zoom AA meetings while away from home—but I know something is wrong. I can feel it. I’m just unsure if it would be a stretch to send police to her house for a welfare check.

I can just imagine her expression and the look on the police officer’s face as she has to explain her boss has a crush on her, spent four hours picking out red and yellow gummy bears for her, and won’t stop calling after he left because she was uncomfortable.

That’s why my mind thinks she’s ignoring me, and yet that doesn’t explain the congratulations text. If she was uncomfortable by the gummy bears, she wouldn’t have talked to me after that…right?

Rubbing my temples for the headache forming there, I can do nothing as I skate onto the ice with a pit in my stomach and my heart screaming at me that something is deeply wrong.

“ D ude, you have to get out of your head,” Kieran calls as we skate off.

“I’m trying. I’m genuinely trying.”

Coach pulls me aside the moment my skates hit the away bench. “What’s happening? You’re sloppy and you’re uncoordinated.” His lips press into a thin line. “I hate to ask this, Crawford, but”—he lowers his voice—“are you drunk?”

I can’t even be offended he’d ask. Last season I did play drunk and turned up to practice hungover and puking, but it feels like a slap to the face nevertheless.

As the timeout clock ticks down, I turn my back on the guys and the cameras, keeping my helmet on to avoid anyone seeing the pure worry I have etched across my face.

“It’s Bella, sir,” I whisper.

He frowns. “Did she break up with you?”

I shake my head. “No, she hasn’t returned my calls or texts, and she hasn’t showed up for work. I’m worried something has happened.”

At that moment, the assistant coach, Olivia, rounds the corner. “What’s wrong?”

Coach Anderson holds my gaze for a moment, no doubt trying to see if I’m lying to him once again about my drinking.

His shoulders slump slightly as he turns to Olivia, lifting his clipboard to hide his lips from the cameras, but I can hear him as he whispers, “Get Crawford’s agent on the phone and try to locate Bella.

Grayson’s worried something has happened to her. ”

Olivia’s eyes cut to mine before she nods and leaves, her tight blonde ponytail swishing with the movement. It isn’t her job description to be making calls like that, but nevertheless, I’m eternally grateful and make a mental note to thank her afterwards.

Coach Anderson claps me on the shoulder. “Can you play now knowing someone is looking for her?”

“It’s my job. I have to.”

“I know you can, but can you do it well ?”

Turns out I can’t, not when Bella is missing.