Page 48 of Breaking Point (IceHawks #1)

Bella

GRAYSON

are you sure you feel up for this?

BELLA

yes, I’m not made of glass

GRAYSON

sounds like you need a reminder of where you slept just two nights ago

BELLA

in a bed?

GRAYSON

cheeky

BELLA

not as cheeky as the dogs I hope to see today

I hope you’re not trying to get rid of me, are you, Crawford?

GRAYSON

I would never dream of doing such a thing

“ I ’m screwed, Layla. Well and truly screwed.” I bite down on the inside of my cheek. “It’s one thing to buy me gifts, but you should have seen how he was with my mom. He downloaded all of her thriller books that have been sitting in her room collecting dust.”

Layla’s eyes widen. “All of them?”

“All of them.” I wave my hand between us in my car. “I mean, do you know how much audiobooks are? They’re ridiculously expensive, and he didn’t bat an eye at it! He would have had to drop hundreds on the number of titles he downloaded.”

Layla clutches her chest. “Stop, that’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever heard. The book lover in me is freaking out.”

I hold up my finger as we come to a stop at a red light. “That’s not all.” I couldn’t believe my mom when she first told me, but once it processed, my view on Grayson shifted completely. “When he drove my mom home from the hospital, he stayed behind and read to her… for hours .”

Layla gasps, spinning in the passenger seat to face me fully. “No, he didn’t!”

“Oh, yes, he did.”

“He’s perfect,” she whispers.

“A little too perfect if you ask me.”

“You’re in your hating-all-men phase?—”

“Not a phase, believe me.”

Layla snorts at that. “Well, Grayson shouldn’t be lumped into the ‘all men’ category. He’s proven to you who he is.”

I can’t disagree with that. “Fuck, Lil, what am I going to do?”

She looks at me out of the corner of her eye. “Do about what?” she asks cautiously.

“You know what,” I say through clenched teeth.

“No,” she says sweetly, linking her fingers together on her lap. “I don’t think I know what you’re talking about. You’re going to have to say it.”

“Layla.”

“Bella,” she sings.

As I come to another red light, my head drops back with a loud groan. “Fine! I don’t know what to do because…” A lump gets stuck in my throat. Grimacing, I snatch my water bottle out of the cup holder and gulp.

“Because…?” Layla probes.

Accelerating as the light turns green, I blurt, “I like him! Okay? And it’s going to mess with my head when he continues to do these nice things for me, and I have to continue to remind myself that it’s all fake.

Not to mention that he’s my boss! He is literally the person paying to keep my mom alive, and let’s address the elephant in the room. I. Do. Not. Trust. Men .”

My chest is heaving by the time I’m done.

Layla blows out a raspberry before she mutters under her breath, “I’ve been waiting for this.”

“Well, you were right. Are you happy?”

“That you’re finally admitting your feelings to yourself? Yes, I am happy.” She shakes her head. “Okay, first of all, Grayson isn’t the type of person who would fire you if things turned messy. I just can’t see him doing that, especially when he knows your mom’s situation.”

“You can never know a person. Not truly.”

Layla is quiet for a moment before squaring her shoulders. “Let’s address the elephant then.”

My eyes slide to hers to find her studying me.

“What he did was horrible, Bella. There are no two ways about it. It’s the most disgusting thing you can do to a person when they are at their most vulnerable, but…not everyone is your dad,” she says softly.

Flicking my indicator on, I come to a slow stop as I wait to turn into the grounds hosting the dog shelter event today. “That’s the thing, Layla. I know they’re not all like him, but he is a prime example of not knowing if you can ever fully trust someone, even after twenty years.”

That silences my best friend.

Because she knows I’m right.

My father was the partner my mom’s friends would be jealous of. The father my friends would say they wish they had. In the eyes of me, my mother, and the world, he was a loving and caring person—until he wasn’t.

It was like a switch had flicked in him, unveiling who he truly is.

A coward.

“I know you’re trying to help me, and bless your heart I love you for it, but nothing is going to be able to patch up the hole he left.”

She lays a gentle hand on my arm as I turn the car, pulling into the parking lot. “I can respect that, and I understand it, B, I truly do. I was as shocked as you were, but I would be a horrible friend to watch you let something like this pass you by.”

I put the car in park and turn to her. “And what would I be passing by?”

Without missing a beat, Layla says, “The potential to feel a once-in-a-lifetime love.”

Her words hit like a blow, because some part of me knows I’ve never felt this way about a man before, and I’m terrified that Layla is right.

But if she’s right, then that means I not only have to trust Grayson but I have to put myself out there and tell him how I feel, and I’m not willing to do that.

She must see it in my gaze that she had me and then lost me. Her shoulders slump. “In your own time, B. In your own time.”

Trying to tease my way out of it, I give her a crooked smile. “For now, can we please go watch hot hockey players play with dogs?”

Her head tilts back with a laugh, her hand already moving to the door. “Absolutely! That sentence is every romance lover’s wet dream.”

“Speaking of romance lover,” I call out, rounding the hood to meet Layla. “What are you going to do with all your books?”

She leaves for Berlin Thursday, and we have barely scratched the surface with it. I’m avoiding the topic of her departure because it terrifies me that my best friend isn’t going to be close by when I feel like my life is crumbling around me.

No more late-night ice cream runs. No more movie nights. No more drinks at Totti’s on Tuesdays. For an entire year .

What truly has me afraid is what my life will look like when she comes back.

Will my mom still be here?

Layla’s soft voice pulls me from my thoughts, and by the slight tone of surprise in her voice, she’s also shocked that I’ve chosen this moment to bring up the departure.

“Ugh, I haven’t decided which ones I’m going to take yet.

I’ll have a lot of free time to read so I’m considering buying a Kindle, but I don’t know if I can spare the money.

My parents definitely can’t. They’ve given enough. ”

Looping her arm through mine, I give her a squeeze. “I’ll come over on Monday and help you pick which books to take.”

Layla’s eyes glaze as she nods furiously. “Can we change the topic and pretend like I’m not leaving Thursday?”

I come to a sudden stop. “Are you not excited? You could be getting answers for everything.”

She bites her bottom lip. “Or I could be using my parents’ retirement fund for nothing.” She shakes her head. “I just want one day, B. One day where I’m not the chronically sick girl. I’m having a good day physically, so I want to pretend like this is how I am every day.”

At the pain evident in her voice, I give her the smile she deserves and pull her along. “Normal, healthy day it is.”

The smile she gives me is so wide I’m surprised it doesn’t hurt.

“Great, now take me to meet the infamous Grayson.”