Page 46 of Breaking Point (IceHawks #1)

She sits propped up in her hospital bed, her skin a gray, waxy sheen. Her eyes are sunken, her body is fragile and thin, and she’s lost all her hair. By the deep unending sadness in her eyes, I swear I’m watching the fight to live drain from her body.

Bella is exhausted emotionally and mentally, but Trisha is exhausted trying to fight her body's attack against itself.

Cancer is a horrible thing.

One that tears people from this world in such devastating, agonized ways.

Who would have thought our bodies would kill themselves from the inside out?

Trisha tries to sit up higher, her arms shaking as her brown eyes—so similar to Bella’s—clock my presence .

Bella walks closer, taking a seat on her bed. “Mom, this is Grayson Crawford…my boss.” It looks like Bella finally feels how odd that term is between us.

Moving through the room, I hold out my hand, gently clasping her frail one as I give her a heartfelt smile. “It’s nice to meet you. Bella has told me so much about you.”

Trisha smiles as she scoffs slightly. “I highly doubt she has, but I appreciate the kindness.”

Heat singes my cheeks. “Well, at least we can agree on how stubborn your daughter is.”

Trisha’s smile widens. “That we can, Mr. Crawford.”

“Please, call me Grayson.”

Those brown eyes track over my body—searching. “Thank you again for the odd arrangement. It has gotten us out of a…predicament.”

My head cocks to the side. “Bella still hasn’t told me why she suddenly changed her mind.”

Trisha’s attention slides to Bella, her eyes narrowing. She quirks a brow as she says to me, “Bella has gotten very good at keeping secrets as of late. The new treatment plan I’m on is a drug they’ve just introduced to the market?—”

“And your insurance isn’t covering it,” I cut in, finally understanding where this is going.

Her smile is tight. “Yes, and well…my health, as I’m guessing you have noticed, is not the best.”

“That’s an understatement,” Bella mumbles under her breath before turning to me. “This new drug is her last stop before the gates above.”

“Bella!” Trisha scolds.

Bella simply waves her hand in my direction. “What? No point sugarcoating it. He knows everything now.”

As Trisha’s eyes pinch, I jump in, drawing her focus. “I’m terribly sorry your daughter had to enter into an agreement to pay for everything, but I am endlessly grateful to her. She’s hopefully saving something that is very near and dear to my heart.”

Trisha hums under her breath.

Quickly changing the subject, I go on to explain why I’m here, and all the while, Bella bites her bottom lip, her hands wringing nervously in her lap. “Is that okay, Mom? If not I can discharge myself?—”

She waves her daughter off. “Nonsense, I’m sure Grayson is more than capable of driving me home. I want you to stay and rest.” She turns her head. “Besides, it gives me a chance to get to know your…boss.”

“Mom,” Bella whisper-hisses, trying to convey something silently, but her mom ignores her.

My stomach bottoms out as Trisha gets a gleam in her eye that tells me I should be afraid of the questions she’s no doubt going to hurl my way.

Hours later, after Trisha forced Bella back to her hospital room, giving her daughter a stern scolding to rest and recover, she is nestled in bed, her blankets covering her frail body.

The drive was short, and yet Mrs. Stratford took every available moment to pepper me with questions.

Why am I doing the arrangement, why Bella, why do I love my team, why did I put myself in the position in the first place?

I knew it was coming but as she got closer to the truth of why I became such a fuck-up the last year and a half, I choked and quickly changed the subject.

The questions slowed after that as we both fell into a comfortable silence, Trisha’s I surmise more out of tiredness. So it surprises me that as I’m moving her walker to the side of her bed, her soft airy voice floats through the room.

“Thank you.”

Lifting my head, I find her watching me. I give her a small smile. “It’s no problem, I don’t mind helping. Bella needed to stay another night and rest.”

“No.” She shakes her head. “Thank you for taking care of her . ”

My swallow is audible as I straighten. “I take it she doesn’t allow many people to?”

She snorts out a laugh. “Hit the nail on the head with that one.”

To stop myself from laughing, I busy myself making sure she has a glass of water and her medication on the bedside table.

“Do you want me to read to you?” I offer, noting the worn paperbacks that are collecting dust. While Bella tried to sleep, I read all I could about stage four ovarian cancer. How tired the patients get, how worn out and fuzzy their brain can feel to them at times.

It’s not just the cancer that is killing them, it’s the harsh chemical treatments. So, it’s not surprising to me that her books are collecting dust.

Surprise flickers in her eyes. “I haven’t been able to read in…well, months.”

“Then let’s make sure we pick a good one.” Walking over to the stack of books, I read through the titles. “Have anything in mind?”

I’m flipping through the piles, not knowing which one to choose, when I realize it’s been quiet for a while.

I turn back to Trisha, and there are tears gathering in her eyes. Clearing her throat, she blinks furiously. “ House of Madness .” A watery smile stretches across her lips. “Please, I’m in the mood for a thriller.”

“ House of Madness it is.” Finding the book isn’t hard; it’s near the top of her many piles. I pull it out to see a red background with a black, creepy looking house sitting in the middle. “Is this going to terrify me?”

“Most likely.”

I chuckle as I take a seat on the rocker next to her bed. “I’ll take one for the team then.”

My gaze catches on the photo in the frame on the bedside table. It’s a stunning snapshot of Bella and her mom, no doubt before the cancer diagnosis. They both seem lighter—happier.

“You’ve fallen for her,” Trisha suddenly declares.

I’m not sure why—perhaps because my fondness for Trisha is growing or because I can’t tear my gaze away from such a happy version of Bella—but I find myself smiling as I confess, “Absolutely.”

Trisha is silent for a moment. “You won’t hurt her, will you?”

Now I look away to stare straight into Trisha’s eyes as I vow, “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Good, because she will need you when I’m gone.”

My head rears back at her blunt words. I open my mouth to deny it, but she simply holds up a shaky hand. “I’m dying, Grayson, and no medication will stop that. Bella just doesn’t want to admit it yet, so I’m doing this for her.”

“I spoke to your doctor. He seems hopeful,” I say quizzically, my frown deepening.

“They all seem hopeful when the treatment puts money in their pockets and gives them a test subject to work on.”

My heart utterly breaks at the desolate tone of her voice. “Do you really believe that?”

“Wholeheartedly. My body is failing me and there is nothing that will slow my cancer from killing me.”

I’m quiet as I watch Trisha gaze at the photo of her and her daughter, no doubt remembering happier times. “For your sake and Bella’s, I hope you’re wrong.”

She smiles, but it’s not one of joy. “I hope I’m wrong too. There’s so much I’m going to miss out on as a mother…” Her voice cracks, her eyes filling with silver. “So many moments Bella will need me.”

The heaviness of it all weighs upon both our shoulders, the energy in the room growing somber.

“Have you considered writing letters?” I suggest quietly.

Her head rises to meet my gaze. “Letters?”

“For all the important days she will have, you can write her a letter with all the advice you wish to give her.”

She swallows thickly, her gaze darting down to her hands resting in her lap, her tremble noticeable. “I don’t have a laptop, and my hands?—”

“I’ll help you. ”

At the first flash of light—of hope —in her eyes, I’m glad I spoke up.

“That—that would be amazing.”

“I’ll come over after practice, when Bella is still at my house.”

“Thank you,” she whispers, her words full of sincerity.

I can’t help but smile at the spark of life I just witnessed. Not wanting her to lose that spark, I clear my throat and turn to the first page, absolutely stunned to find a trigger warning list a mile long.

“Uh, Trisha?” I say slowly. “Should we still?—”

“It’s fine, dear.”

Chuckling to myself, I go on. A shiver wracks my body when I’m thirty pages into a grizzly murder scene and I find Trisha just…smiling. Here I am trying not to lose my stomach and the woman is cracking a smile at an axe slicing through the victim’s head.

“Should I be concerned? Is this a hereditary thing? Am I going to find Bella cackling over my bed in the middle of the night with a butcher’s knife?”

Trisha bursts out laughing before it turns into a coughing fit.

“No, it’s not hereditary. She hates crime and thrillers.

I’ve forced her to watch too many.” Her smile grows wide.

“It’s just…I haven’t been able to read in such a long time.

I started watching true crime documentaries to give me the feel my thriller books gave me, but they still don’t come close.

” She reaches over and places her shaky hand atop mine, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Thank you for doing this for me. For giving me back a part of my soul.”

Emotion clogs my throat. “It’s just a book.”

She shakes her head as she smiles at me. “No…you’ve given me back something that I thought I wouldn’t get to experience again before I died. To hear about a world created from another person’s mind. You’ve given me joy, Grayson, and I will be eternally grateful to you for that.”

The emotion that rises within me takes tremendous effort to squelch. My heart aches for this kind and caring woman who is being thrown into the depths of misery and handed the worst life has to offer.

“I’m sure Bella would love to read to you?—”

“She does too much for me as it is. She needs a break.”

“Then perhaps we make this a weekly thing?”

“You would do that?”

“Of course I would. I’ll even do you one better. How about I set you up with an audiobook subscription? Get a nice set of headphones or a speaker that won’t hurt your head?”

Her lip quivers, tears suddenly glistening in her eyes before she takes a play from Bella’s handbook and shoves it all away. But she can’t hide her watery smile. “That would be one of the greatest gifts anyone could give me.”

Giving her my hand, I gently squeeze hers. I couldn’t help Drew, and I may not be able to save her life, but I will help in any way I can.

The words in my throat are thick for a moment as we pick up again before they begin to distract me. I’ve read another forty pages when Trisha interrupts me as the chapter comes to an end.

“She’s going to push you away.”

Closing the book, I rest it on my lap as I give her a sad smile. “I know.”

“You do?” she says, her brows high in shock.

“Yes, she has runner written all over her.”

“Well, she may be a runner, but she isn’t a long distance one.

Give her time and she’ll come back.” Her head turns, and following her line of sight, I see her staring at her wardrobe.

“Bella has a good reason to fear a relationship, but that isn’t my story to tell.

With time, she will open up and share it with you. ”

“Patience is a virtue,” I say.

“That it is.”

The longer she stares at the wardrobe, the more sadness leaks into her gaze and her posture. I’d do anything to put the joy back in her eyes, so I clear my throat and turn the page to a new chapter. “Now, who do we think the murderer is?”

“The husband. It’s always the one closest to you…no matter how nice they seem.”