Page 24

Chapter 24

Zeke

T he past two months had somehow gone by in both a blur and in slow motion. Returning to my normal routine of hockey, hockey, and more hockey had been as comforting as it had been devastating. Although hockey had always been a great distraction, the greatest distraction really, for the first time it couldn’t block out the ache in my chest that had appeared as soon as Piper had walked out of my apartment.

I missed her. Every. Single. Day.

Thankfully, the season was almost over, and not seeing her on a daily basis would give me a much-needed reprieve from the gut-punch feeling I got every time I saw her but couldn’t talk to her.

I pulled a shirt over my head. Practice had ended, and I usually took my time leaving the ice, showering, getting dressed, and packing up my things, giving Piper time to leave the arena before I headed into the therapy room to have my session with Jill. Somehow without talking to each other, Piper and I had come up with a routine to see as little of each other as possible.

Gripping my bag higher on my shoulder, I shut my locker.

“Lawson.” Raymond’s voice echoed throughout the locker room. “Just the man I wanted to see.”

I glanced up to see Raymond in the doorway wearing a maroon Minnesota Wolves polo. “Hey, Raymond, what can I do for you?”

“I was hoping to talk with you for a minute in my office.” He gestured behind him in the general direction of his office, his face void of any expression.

“Yeah, sure. Of course.” I tried to smile, but my stomach twisted with a mixture of curiosity and unease as I followed him out of the locker room and down the hall.

I wasn’t sure what this meeting was about, but I had a feeling it wasn’t just a casual check-in. The team had made the playoffs and I was still playing well, but at my age, every season felt like it could be the last. I braced myself for whatever was coming as I stepped into Raymond’s office.

“Take a seat, Zeke.” He motioned to the chair across from his desk. “I’ll get right to it—we’d like to extend your contract for another year.”

I blinked. Of all the things I’d expected, that wasn’t one of them.

“You’ve been playing some great hockey,” Raymond continued. “We know you’ve been traded around a lot these past few years, but I’m happy to say you seemed to have found a rhythm here. You’re a veteran in the locker room, and frankly, we think you’ve got at least one more solid year left in you.”

I exhaled, leaning back in my chair. A year ago, this would’ve been an easy yes. Hockey had always been my life—my only constant. But after the past few months with Piper, something had shifted. I had someone in my life who made me think about more than just the next game. Which had me second-guessing if playing another year was what I wanted, or if it was just what I was used to.

Raymond studied me. “I expected you to be a little more excited.”

“I am,” I said quickly. And I was—sort of. But the feeling was tangled with something else, something uncertain. I passed a hand through my hair. “I just…I need some time to think about it.”

Raymond nodded, leaning forward. “I get it. You don’t have to give me an answer right now. Take some time, talk it over with whomever you need to. But we’d love to have you back.”

I forced a smile. “I appreciate that.”

I stood, shaking Raymond’s hand before leaving the office.

As I walked down the hallway, my mind raced. This was everything I had ever wanted—a team that wanted me, a place where I could finish on my own terms. But for the first time, I was questioning whether holding onto hockey meant letting go of something even more important.

And I wasn’t sure which scared me more.

I felt lost in a way I hadn’t in years. Hockey had always been my identity, but now? Now, I wasn’t sure who I was outside of it. There was only one person I could think of who might understand—Crew.

He and I hadn’t always been the best at keeping in touch, but we both knew we could call each other any time. Except a phone call didn’t feel like enough right now.

Without overthinking it or stopping off at home, I grabbed my keys and got into my truck, setting off for the hour-long drive that would take me to Glacier Grove. This was a conversation I needed to have with Crew in person. If anyone could help me wade through the different choices and possibilities I had running through my head, it was him.

I hadn’t been back to Glacier Grove since I’d left after high school. The only good memories I had there were playing hockey for the town’s team, the Glacier Gators, and hanging out with friends. The rest of the town reminded me of how alone and unwanted I had been growing up, nothing left there to make me want to return.

But now, as I pulled onto the familiar streets, the trees budding with the first signs of spring, nostalgia hit me like a punch to the gut. Everything looked the same, yet different. I drove past the old rink, then the Glacier Cone where the team used to get ice cream after games, passed the roads Crew and I had biked down as kids.

Finally, I pulled up in front of Crew’s house, a two-story with a wraparound porch and a swing that swayed gently in the breeze. Taking a deep breath, I stepped out and walked up to the door. I hesitated for only a second before knocking, hoping that showing up unannounced wouldn’t be a mistake.

The door swung open, and a young boy looked up at me with his mouth agape. “Oh, my gosh. You’re Zeke Lawson.”

I smiled, happy to know someone this young still knew who I was and sounded impressed to see me. “Hi. You must be Tyler.” I held out my hand for him to shake.

He shook my hand, but continued to stare at me in shock.

“Tyler, who is it?” a woman’s voice floated toward the door before Addie rounded the corner. Her face lit up at the sight of me, and all the worry I’d had about coming here went out the window. “Zeke,” she said excitedly, tucking her strawberry blonde hair behind her ear. “What are you doing here?”

“Can’t I come and see my favorite girl from Glacier Grove?” I gave her one of my most charming smiles.

Crew appeared so fast that I wondered if he had some kind of special hearing when it came to anyone remotely flirting with Addie. “Would you stop flirting with her?” he said, forgoing a hello, his voice a mix of annoyance and laughter, reminding me of how I’d always done this to get a rise out of him. “She’s my fiancée now. She’s not interested in The Zeke Man—and never has been.”

I laughed, already glad I’d made the rash decision to come here. “I know, I know. Calm down. She’s only ever had eyes for you.”

Addie just rolled her eyes at the two of us and waved me inside. “Come in, come in.”

Once the door was shut behind me, she placed a hand on her son’s shoulder. “This is my son, Tyler. He’s been a fan of yours since he was little.”

“Yeah,” he nodded vigorously. “My mom and I have watched all your games. Just like we used to watch Crew’s.”

I raised my brows and threw a look at Crew. “Looks like you weren’t the only one she was watching over the years.”

He threw back a cocky glare. “Yeah, but it was only my jersey she wore. Do I need to remind you that I’m?—”

“Crew Freaking Anderson,” we both said in unison, laughing at the name I’d given him in high school.

I’d never had a thing for Addie, but it had always been fun to give Crew a hard time about it. And Addie had always been a great friend to me, so she knew it was all in jest.

“So,” Crew said as we made our way into the living room. “To what do we owe the pleasure of having Minnesota Wolves’ right wingman here?”

I rubbed the back of my head as I sat down on the couch. “Well, I was actually hoping we could talk.” Yeah, I wasn’t very good at this. I hadn’t had a lot of practice over the years, talking and opening up about my feelings and fears.

Addie must have sensed the heaviness in my words because she quickly turned to Tyler. “Tyler, why don’t you go up and finish your homework? I’ll call you back down when dinner is ready.”

“But, Mom,” he begged. “I want to hang out with Zeke Lawson.”

I tried not to smile at how he referred to me using my full name.

“And you will,” she said. “He’s staying for dinner, and then you can ask him all the hockey questions your heart desires.”

“Okay,” he said reluctantly but turned to go up the stairs.

“I’m just going to be in the kitchen finishing up dinner,” Addie said, smiling before leaving Crew and me alone.

We sat in silence for a couple of moments as I gathered my thoughts, wiping my suddenly clammy hands on my pants.

“Sorry to just drop in on you like this.” Maybe coming here had been a dumb idea. Crew had a life, a family, a job, and here I was plopping down on his couch, hoping he could tell me what to do with my life.

“Don’t worry about it.” He waved me off from across the room, where he sat on the other couch. “It’s good to see you. I’m sorry I haven’t had a chance to make it to one of your games yet. I’ve been wanting to take Tyler.”

“I don’t expect you to come watch me,” I said. “But let me know when, and I can get you guys tickets.”

“We’ve been cheering you on while watching games on TV, though.” He leaned back and crossed an ankle over his knee. “You’ve looked good this season. Congratulations on making it to the playoffs.”

“Thanks.” I let myself lean back too, hoping it would help me relax. “It’s been a fun season so far. The team is great. I like it more than I thought I would.”

He looked at me and then said, “I’m sensing there is a ‘but’ somewhere in there.”

“Yeah, kind of.” I sighed. “Today, I was offered an extension on my contract for another year and?—”

“That’s great, Zeke,” he boomed, obviously too excited for me to let me finish my sentence. “I’m not surprised, though. No one is more dedicated to the game than you.”

I held up my hand. “Wait. And —you didn’t let me finish— and as grateful as I am for that opportunity, I’m not sure what to do because I’ve fallen for the team’s physical therapist.”

His brows furrowed. “Come again?”

I squeezed my eyes shut, wondering if I could actually say the words out loud. Opening one eye, I hurried and said, “I think I’ve fallen in love with Piper.”

Slowly, I let my eyes open all the way, taking in Crew’s shocked face.

His brown eyes were wide. “The Zeke Man is in love?”

“I know,” I exclaimed, rubbing my hands down my face. “I don’t know how it happened. One second, she was just the team physical therapist, helping me be at my best for the game, and then suddenly I was opening up to her and thinking about her constantly.”

“And how does she feel about you?” he asked.

I gave him a look. “I’m The Zeke Man. What do you think?”

He rolled his eyes, chuckling at my ridiculous response.

“No, but in all seriousness,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. “I don’t know if she would use the word love , but she definitely likes me.”

Crew arched his brow and crossed his arms. “Isn’t that a good thing?”

“Yes, but you know it’s against team policy for anyone on the staff to date players.”

He nodded slowly, tapping his fingers against his bicep “But are you two dating ?”

I hesitated. Between the fake dating and the real kisses, I wasn’t sure how to answer that.

“Um… technically , no.”

Crew’s eyes narrowed slightly, the corners of his mouth twitching like he was trying to hold back a smirk. “ Technically? ”

And so, I started from the beginning. I told him about our first interactions together, about Jordan being her ex, how I had thought I was coming to her rescue by pretending to be her fake boyfriend, about how we’d kept up the ruse at the bar, about the kiss, about the texting and the dinners at my place, the charity gala, and how Holden had walked in on us kissing in the therapy room. Then ended by telling him how she’d been given a warning and that we’d decided to cut off any interactions between us to keep her job safe.

He was silent for a moment before finally saying, “You’ve been stingy on our phone calls.”

I chuckled. “Yeah, well, you know I don’t like to talk about my feelings.”

“I get that.” He tilted his head slightly as he studied me. “So, you don’t know if you should accept the Wolves offer and continue playing the game you love, or if you should decline the offer so you can be with the woman you love?”

I let out a slow breath, my shoulders sinking under the weight of it all. “That’s correct.”

Crew didn’t say anything right away. He just watched me, his expression unreadable, as he uncrossed his arms. Finally, he spoke, his voice quieter this time. “What has you so scared?”

“I just…” My throat worked around the words. “I don’t know who I am without hockey,” I said. “It’s all I’ve ever had. It’s the only thing that’s never left me.”

Crew’s expression softened. “I used to think that too. That hockey was my anchor. That as long as I had the game, I didn’t have to feel the rest of it. The loneliness. The fear of building something real and losing it. But you know what I learned?”

I glanced at him, waiting.

“Hockey was never what made me happy. It was just the thing I hid behind because I didn’t feel safe enough to want more.” He hesitated. “You can love the game, Zeke, but it can’t love you back. Not really. Not the way people can.”

I swallowed hard, my chest tightening. “Yeah, well, people leave.”

Crew huffed a laugh. “And teams trade you, coaches bench you, and sooner or later, your body tells you it’s time to hang ’em up. But love? Real love? That’s not something you run from just because it might not last forever.” His voice gentled. “You don’t have to use hockey as a shield anymore. You don’t have to prove you belong by playing through the pain or pretending you don’t care if you get traded again. You belong just by being you.”

I looked down at my hands, something raw and unfamiliar scraping against my ribs.

“You deserve to be happy,” Crew said, softer now. “Not just in a jersey. Not just under the lights. But in the quiet moments. With someone who sees you. Not Zeke the player. Zeke the man.”

A sharp breath punched through my lungs. I thought of Piper—the warmth in her eyes when she looked at me like I was more than just a hockey player. Like I was someone .

“What if I don’t know how to do that?” I admitted, my voice low.

Crew smiled. “Then you do what you do when you first step out onto the ice before a game. You take a deep breath,” he said. “And you give it your all.”

I released the breath I was holding, the weight in my chest shifting.

Maybe, just maybe, Crew was right.

Maybe it was time to stop hiding.

And start living.