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Melanie

I groaned as the showerhead worked its magic.

I swayed my hips in time with the audiobook playing on loudspeaker, loving the way the water streamed down my thighs and bubbled around my feet. My morning shower was the best part of my day. And it always ended too quickly.

Lifting the shower head, I slotted it back into the holder before threading my fingers through my hair.

Tingles flooded through me as I stretched, pressing out my chest to let the water cover my curves. I arched my back as if I were an omega, asking for it with no control over my body. Completely submitting to my instinct to be knotted.

I moaned as I tipped my head back to wash out the last of the shampoo, savouring the last few seconds of my fantasy.

It was messed up; I knew that. But I also knew I wasn’t the only beta in the world that felt cheated by their biology.

I sighed as I turned off the water and prepared myself for another day of clearing out nests of perfect omegas with their perfect packs.

I hated being a beta.

No slick. Can’t take a knot. Well, not without lots of prep, and even then it was uncomfortable. No perfuming or alphas panting over me as I went into heat. I guess I was saved from periods like other betas. The doctors said there was something wrong with me after a car crash when I was a kid. I had to take pills to imitate a period cycle that forced me to bleed. But I wasn’t going anywhere near those again, not with all the side effects.

“Alexa, stop playing,” I said as I left the bathroom. The speaker shut off just as an alpha choked Amanda while she came for the third time.

Taken by the Rogue Alphas was the best audiobook to get me going in the mornings. It was written by an alpha who was known for her omega smut, and it hit harder listening to it rather than reading the words.

A grimy alleyway, kidnapping, forced knotting—it ticked all of my boxes. And it helped pick up my mood for the rest of the day.

My eyes flicked to the clock on my bedside table, and I groaned. I thought I had more time, but I’d gotten too carried away with Amanda and her seven alphas.

I skipped to my bed where my hairdryer lay waiting, but my phone rang before I could even switch it on.

I groaned for a very different reason at the name that flashed up on the screen. Talking to my sister in the morning always ruined my day, but ignoring her ruined my evenings.

Swiping left, I put her on speakerphone and dropped my phone onto my bed so I could towel my long hair.

“Mel!” the familiar high-pitched voice pierced the air around me.

“Hi Rosa,” I replied, trying to hide my irritation. Sometimes even her voice just got to me.

“How’s it going?” she asked softly, already apologetic. “Sorry, I can’t talk loudly. Tommy’s just fallen asleep.” Her son was only two years old, but he was completely spoilt.

She was a stay-at-home omega who lived in our childhood home with three alphas who absolutely adored her. Which made the reason she called me even more irritating.

“I’m fine. I’m just getting ready for work,” I replied. Which she knew, and it was exactly why she had chosen now to call rather than after work, where I had space to be properly annoyed at her. “Why are you calling, Rosa?”

I raised my free hand, making a fist as I prepared for it.

“Well, look,” she sighed deeply before she started. “Andy is really ill again.” I opened up my index finger, marking her first excuse. “And Sam’s leg is still broken.” There was the second. “And Carl needs to work tonight.” Aaaand, there was third.

At least she was firing them off in quick succession rather than dragging it out, like usual.

I dropped my towel and swiped a sad-looking beige bra from the pile of clothes on my bed, awkwardly looping it over my fist as I waited for her other two excuses.

She’d be done soon enough.

“And so there’s no one to look after Tommy.” I had four fingers out now. She just needed to give me the last one, and we’d have a full set. “And he might have a cold. So I really don’t think I can visit Mum this afternoon.”

It was my turn to sigh as I lowered my fist and finished putting on my bra.

“What, really?” I actually managed to sound disappointed, even though I’d been expecting her call. It was why I’d gotten my session with Amanda in early. “But you said last week you’d definitely make it.” I pressed my lips together as I plucked my pastel pink maid’s dress from the pile, complete with a frilly apron.

Visiting hours at Mum’s nursing home started early Friday through Sunday. I was booked for Sunday morning, and Rosa had reserved Friday because she said her whole pack was going away for the weekend on a trip for Tommy.

“I know, I’m so sorry, but everything is just piling up.”

I loved my sister, I really did, but it was hard not to get angry at her when she did this every single fortnight.

Our Mum had a stroke last year and needed round-the-clock care. We both paid for it, half and half, though her alphas still complained about the amount of money it took out of their budget. And it was why I worked six full days, Monday to Saturday, no matter what time of year it was. Sometimes seven, if I could get away with it. Unless it was those sweet, sweet two weeks of paid holiday, where I ended up going to look after Mum, anyway.

With rent and hospital bills, there were some months where I only had a small amount left for food, but I learned to make things stretch.

And any mention of the fact that there were four of them and only one of me was met with another barrage of excuses.

If I brought up things such as their two-week trip to Sydney or the hot tub they had installed in Spring, or the giant party they had for Tommy’s second birthday, they threatened to cut off Mum’s payments.

“Can’t you just take Tommy along with you?” I asked.

“I’m worried he might give Mum his cold.”

I’d guess Tommy had coughed once and she’d freaked out.

I was too tired. My body had ached for the past two days. Even though my mind was fuzzy and I was pretty sure a fever was coming, I still had a double shift today. I needed the extra hours to cover my rent.

If I pushed her, she’d switch to tears and guilt-tripping, and I’d feel like I’d been trapped in one of those Am I The Asshole? situations, forcing my poor sister to visit our sick Mum so I could have a day off like the scoundrel I was.

I just wish she wouldn’t promise to go then cancel on me last minute. But it wasn’t like I ever had any plans.

“Okay, fine. But can you send them your next payment?” I asked.

“Of course! Yeah! Of course I will. Oh my God, Mel. You are just the best. Thank you so much!”

At least she sounded happy when she hung up, and I knew she’d spend the whole day singing and dancing around the house and doing all those lovely things she could do as a stay-at-home mum, like reading in the garden, or cooking her alphas food, or generally living the omega dream.

And all while I was just trying to live.