Page 7 of Borrowed

T hey made me sit in a different room after the questions. White walls again. Still quiet. A painting of a boat that didn’t make sense—no water, just sky. I tilted my head at it until my eyes hurt.

I curled into the chair. It smelled like bleach and someone else’s fear. I pressed my knees to my chest and tried not to look at the door. I already knew who was coming.

Mother walked in first.

Her heels always sounded like judgment.

Click, click, click.

Toby never liked her heels. He said they hurt.

She wore that same beige coat, the one that looked like it belonged on someone richer, someone who didn’t fake-cry when reporters were around. She didn’t look at me. Not at first. She looked past me like I was just another patient. Like she didn’t bring me to the quiet white walls.

Father followed. His hands were shoved in his pockets, and he looked tired.

More tired than usual.

Gray hair, beard not fully trimmed.

His eyes looked like mine. They flicked to mine, then away, then back like looking before you cross the road.

“Tabitha,” Mother said, sharp and brittle.

“Hi,” I whispered.

Toby was in the corner again, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, watching her. Toby didn’t like Mother. He didn’t like the way she loved him. I wanted to be loved. His face was calm, but his fingers were twitching like they wanted to grab her throat and squeeze.

Dr. Lin cleared his throat. He was already there, but I didn’t see him come in.

Clipboard tucked under his arm, mouth too polite.

He tucked his lips inside his mouth, and I mimicked the action, running my tongue over the closed line.

“We wanted to loop you both in,” he said, directing it at my parents.

“Tabitha’s been through a traumatic, unfortunate event.

Another patient in her ward, Mila, was found unresponsive this morning.

We’ve taken the necessary steps—isolated any possible contaminants, have a team preparing an autopsy, and interviewed Tabitha. ”

Mom folded her arms. “Oh good…So what happened?”

The doctor hesitated. “It appears Mila ingested something…unprescribed. Possibly a pill belonging to another patient. There’s no visible trauma on her body. No indication of a struggle.”

Mom’s lips tightened, too. “So you’re saying it’s not Tabitha’s fault? Why doesn’t this facility have some way of twenty-four-hour surveillance for the price tag you demand? It’s the twentieth century, for Christ’s sake.”

“I’m saying there’s no evidence that she harmed Mila,” he replied carefully. “And Tabitha reported seeing the other patient drop his medication in the art room prior. Mila may have taken it unknowingly.”

Father ran a hand down his face. “Geez-us.”

“As far as surveillance, Mrs. Crowley, we take security and the safety of our patients and staff very seriously. There is around-the-clock surveillance from our staff in all adjoining recreational areas. However, for the individual rooms, we do close the doors for their privacy, as well as bathroom and shower quarters. Everyone here is an adult. You must understand some patients here have sexual urges and need a place of refuge to satisfy those urges.”

“I understand this isn’t the first time something has happened with my child ending up next to a corpse!” Mother was angry. Her eyes cut into the doctor. “Are you forgetting why we had to take out a mortgage on our new home to afford your “private” facility?”

Silence.

Even the fluorescent light above me buzzed softer.

“Let me remind you then, that thing was found next to their twin when they pulled her out of that burning house,” she went on. “Covered in blood. They said…”

I stopped listening. I didn’t like to hear about Toby. “Been dead for over a day before anyone checked!”

My breath caught.

The room tilted.

I didn’t like fire.

Toby still smelled like ashes.

“Tabitha was catatonic,” Father murmured, more to himself.

“Didn’t speak for a week after. Just stared into space and rocked.

Our twins were always in a different world, but after that…

she woke up. Nothing has been the same since.

I can’t keep living like this. My work has all but claimed I am out.

How can you expect us to afford your ridiculous rates while accepting that our flesh and blood ends up being somehow witness to yet another death that’s left unexplained! ”

Father was loud. I didn’t like loud. I covered my ears and looked back at the strange skyboat picture.

“There were drawings on the wall. The places were untouched by the fire. Blood used as paint,” Mom said, voice sharper now.

“She still says she sees her brother. Are you telling me you don’t see the connection here?

Do you really think Tabitha is innocent?

Tell that to my rotting baby in the ground. Tobias needs to have answers.”

The doctor stiffened. “We’re aware of Tabitha’s history.

But your child’s death was ruled as smoke inhalation from the fire.

Tabitha, being in the mental state she is in, likely could not overpower anyone.

From the reports we received, it remains a mystery what truly occurred for everyone except Tabitha.

If you want any chance of helping her remember, we must be patient and kind.

I understand your pain and confusion, but you cannot point fingers at Tabitha for Tobias’s loss. ”

“It wasn’t,” I interrupted, eyes burning.

Death.

Burning.

Blood.

Paint.

I just wanted to feel Toby’s love.

“He didn’t leave me. He loves me. He’s here.”

They all turned to me.

Toby stepped forward, shadows clinging to his shoulders like smoke, the fire of that night lingering on his body. I could smell the thick black clouds. I could feel the heat poking my face like needles.

“Tell them, Zusje.” But his voice was softer now. Almost sad.

Does he still feel the fire burn him, too?

“You don’t understand,” I whispered. “Toby was with me. He held me. The fire hurt, but Toby didn’t want to leave me.”

“Tabitha,” Mother said, voice pinched. “You have to stop?—”

“I didn’t hurt him! I felt his love. The fire hurt Toby. I went to sleep, and Toby let me wear—” I bit my lip…hard. It tasted like metal and memory. My head hurt.

The doctor held up a hand. “We’re still assessing. Tabitha will remain under observation until we have a clearer picture. For now, we’re focusing on her mental state and re-evaluating medication protocols. If you’ll excuse me.”

He left.

Mother looked at Father, then at me. “You’re going to get better,” she said through her teeth. “One way or another, you will understand what you did. You will be punished for taking him away from me, Tabitha…you will burn, too.”

She walked out.

Father gave me one last look. There was something in it, like he wanted to ask a question but was afraid of the answer. Then he followed her, shaking his head.

I was alone again.

Except I wasn’t.

Toby sat beside me. Not across the room. Not in the mirror. Right next to me. His shoulder touched mine. His skin was cold, always cold, despite the fire being so hot. I didn’t pull away.

“You did good,” he said, his breath ghosting against my ear. “They believe you, Sister, you wore my love. That’s how we’re together forever. I told you I would burn for you, my twin.”

I rested my head on his shoulder.

“I don’t care if they do,” I whispered. “I just want you to stay.”

He smiled. “Forever.”