Page 40 of Borrowed

I stood, letting Trumpet and Delia rest on the bed like they were sunbathing.

“She’s not okay,” I said brightly.“She thinks I’m going to set the house on fire.”

“Are you?”Father said, jaw tight.

“No,” I said, tilting my head.“That wasn’t me.”

“Like Mother, like child.You will next.”Toby hissed.

I smiled.“Maybe it will be this time.Do you want to burn?”

He didn’t laugh at that.Neither did Father.He backed up a step like I’d lifted a knife.His bandages are getting burned with a crispy corner.The black butterfly floated above us.It looked tired.Maybe it remembered the smoke, too.

“When will you come back to us?”Father said to me.

Toby smiled, the bandages conforming to his handsome face.

“I never left, Father.”

* * *

Mother walked into the room,giving Father a look that had him leaving without any more words.

She didn’t say anything.Just stood there, her hands tight around her rosary like she thought it might strangle her instead of save her.

“We’re going to church,” she said finally.“Now.”

Toby was already pacing.He hated church.He said it burns.

“She thinks it’ll fix you,” he said, laughing darkly.“Like you’re a cracked plate she can glue back together with her holy water.”

“I like church,” I whispered, tugging on the dress that felt like silk.“It smells like old books and guilt.”

Mom watched me closely as I slid the bunnies into my tote bag, their stiff ears peeking out like bad secrets.She didn’t argue.Not out loud.But her mouth was a hard line the whole drive there.

Toby rode in the back seat.Legs crossed.One hand dragging lazily along the window fog.

“You remember what happened last time?”he said.

“I only screamed a little,” I said.

“He tried to drown you in the lake.”

“Oh.Right.”

The church loomed like a bruise against the sky.

Tall, stone-skinned.

With stained glass windows that always seemed to be watching.

I could feel the burn before I even stepped inside.

My skin prickled, and my teeth ached.Delia twitched in the bag.Mother touched my shoulder like you would a flame.

Would she burn?

“We’re just going to sit and talk to Father Elliot.Maybe he can help you remember Toby.”