Page 14

Chapter Fourteen

When I knock on the door this time, my stomach isn’t in knots and my palms aren’t sweaty. Today, Bek and I are invited to Ava’s and everybody knows we’re coming. It’s moving day for Joel, and we are here to help. Originally, we offered to take Ava to the zoo to distract her from the sadness that she’s sure to feel, but then she asked if we would help instead.

I’m not really sure Joel needs the help. Ava says he only has his bedroom stuff to move. I saw his bedroom that day I came over to get Ava’s pants. He barely has anything. But she wants to be a part of his day, and she’s totally earned that right. I’m honored that she asked Bek and me to be a part of it as well. Her boyfriend, Dylan, is helping too. He and Joel are the muscle.

The door swings open and I feel Bek stiffen beside me.

“Hello Grandma,” I say.

I step into the house and give her a hug. I see Ava standing in the kitchen doorway with her mouth hanging open. I step back and point behind me. “The fairy girl is Bek.”

“Hello Bek. It’s good to see you again.”

Bek’s eyes are huge. I don’t know if she is as terrified as I was the other day when I came alone or if she’s surprised to see Grandma here and helping, but she looks like a deer in the headlights.

“Hi,” she squeaks.

Then I’m equally stunned when Ava’s mom steps out of the kitchen. I just saw her a few short weeks ago, at Joel’s graduation, but she looks a million times stronger and healthier than she did that day. Than she ever has! “Ava, do you think Joel would like these potholders? They have an autumn theme, but we never use them. Right, Mom?”

Grandma turns and glances at them. “Nope. We don’t.”

“Yeah, he’ll probably take them,” Ava says. “He said they hardly have any kitchen stuff.”

I grab Bek’s hand, as much for reassurance that we are together and safe as to pull her out of her shocked stupor. “How can we help?”

Ava’s mom looks up like she’s only just realized we are there. “Hello girls. Thanks for helping Joely.”

Ava’s brother jogs down the stairs. “Hey Bek. Hey Sam. Thanks for coming today.”

We greet him as if we’re all close friends when, in reality, we only know Ava. Because her house has always been off-limits, we don’t even know Joel that well.

He looks at me and makes a face. “Would you mind if we put some stuff in your trunk? Yours is the only other car going over to the apartment.”

Good to know that Mom and Grandma aren’t going over too. “Yeah, no problem.”

“Okay, then come on upstairs with me. I figured my clothes would be easiest. I’ve got most of them shoved into trash bags.”

“Freshly laundered, I hope,” Ava’s mom says. “Since you’ll have to pay to do laundry at the apartment complex.”

“He can do his laundry here,” Grandma mumbles .

Ava and Joel exchange a surprised look before Bek, Ava, and I follow him upstairs.

We find Dylan in Joel’s room manhandling the mattress from the bed to lean it against the closet.

Joel point to several white plastic trash bags lined up against a wall. “I don’t know if you can fit them all into your car, but I’d appreciate as many as you can shove in there.”

“We’ll do what we can,” I say. Ava, Bek, and I grab a couple bags each and head downstairs. Out at my car, I open the trunk and we shove bags inside. There is still enough room for one more, and we might be able to put some loose items on top of the bags and maybe stuff things in between.

After several trips up and down the stairs, we have my car packed with enough room left for the three of us, and Joel’s car is full to bursting with barely enough room left for him and Dylan.

“I did not think you had this much stuff,” I say, as Joel quickly closes the back door of his car to keep everything from falling out.

“I didn’t either. It takes up a lot of room when you pile it all together.” He checks the ropes securing his mattress and box spring to the roof of the car. “I’m glad we don’t have far to drive.”

We all step back inside the house together to make sure we haven’t forgotten anything. When Joel jogs down the stairs a final time, his grandmother is waiting for him in much the same way she waited for me when I stopped by for Ava’s pants. He halts in front of her, and the way they look at each other makes my breath hitch. There is so much history and emotion in that shared look. And my conversation with her the other day heightens my emotions. I can see them both blinking back tears. Ava’s mom stands near me in the middle of the living room, wringing her hands as she awaits her turn to say goodbye to her son. I smile to myself when I recognize the motion to be the same thing Grandma did when she nervously talked to me. It seems the two women might be more alike than they recognize.

Once again, I reach for the reassurance of Bek’s hand. Ava stands in front of us, Dylan by her side. He’s got an arm wrapped around her and she’s resting her head on his shoulder. We’re all spellbound by the touching scene in front of us.

“Joel, I’m sorry for the way things turned out,” Grandma says. Her voice is quiet and a little shaky. “I didn’t mean for it to go so badly.”

Joel stares at his feet and nods.

“But I’m proud of the young man you’ve grown into.”

He looks up at her, surprised.

“Despite the circumstances, you and your sister have stayed good, decent people. You’ve earned this move all on your own, and I know you’ve worked very hard to achieve this goal. I hope it turns out to be everything you want.”

Joel clears his throat. He glances at Ava, but I can’t see her face. “Thanks, Grandma.”

“I…” she starts, but then she must clear her throat as well. “I love you, boy.”

Joel nods again, seemingly unable to speak. They lean into each other and hug. Holding the hug longer than I expect, with each passing moment I feel more of the tumultuous history they’ve shared.

Finally, he breaks away and I feel Bek squeeze my hand. Joel walks up to his mom and they just hug. There isn’t a big speech or confession. When they break apart, his mom whispers “Good luck, Joely.”

When he smiles, he looks so much like Ava, I can’t help but like him with all my heart. The rest of us turn and file out of the house, the heavy mood breaking up as we approach the cars.

Ava and Dylan give each other a quick kiss before they part. Dylan holds onto her hand as long as he can and stares at her as he backs toward Joel’s car. She smiles and nods even though he never said anything. I want to sigh because it’s so sweet that they’ve reached the non-verbal communication level of their relationship, but I also want to cry because, in that moment, I realize how much I want that.

I fold myself into my car and purse my lips. You can’t get to that level in a relationship if you only date someone twice. Not for the first time, I find myself second-guessing my previous decisions. Have I been too picky with my past dates? Do I break it off before giving it a chance? At this stage, will I ever know what it’s like to date again?

Bek slides into the passenger seat and Ava stuffs herself into the back, like normal. I wait for Joel to pull out of the driveway before I flip a U-turn to follow him to his new apartment. A cry of protest comes from Ava as she scrambles to keep the contents piled next to her from burying her.

“Sorry!” I meet her gaze in the rearview mirror and am relieved to see her laughing.

When we get there, I pull up to a red curb behind Joel and turn on my flashers. We all pile out of the vehicles and immediately grab something to take to the apartment. Joel leads the convoy of movers through a maze of sidewalks, up a flight of stairs, and through a propped-open door.

There are already people in the apartment even though there is hardly any furniture. A ratty armchair sits in the corner of the living room. Some boxes sit in what I’m guessing is a dining area. We all congregate in the center of the room while Joel drops his armload of stuff to hug and pound the back of one of the guys in the kitchen. I recognize the guy from school, but don’t really know him. His name is David Bushnell, and he has a reputation for being very smart. We’re introduced to his dad and another guy that looks a lot like David, who turns out to be his brother. Hearing the commotion, his mom and sister come out of a bedroom.

After the introductions, we start trekking back and forth from the car to the apartment to unload. David and his brother help with the bed, which will be set up in the room Joel is sharing with David.

When my car is empty, I find a parking spot and head up to the apartment.

“Who wants pizza?” I ask when I walk in. My stomach is growling and if I don’t eat soon, I might gnaw off my own arm. Ava and Bek raise their hands, but everyone else looks at me like I’ve just declared war. I hold up my phone. “My treat. Just need the address.”

“Be sure to order enough for Chris and whoever will be helping him,” Ava says.

David’s parents exchange a panicked look. They probably don’t know how to let a kid pay for food. I’m so thankful that Bek and Ava are acting completely normal. It helps to set the tone. At least with Joel, David, and his brother.

I hear the brother whisper to Joel, “Are you dating Samantha Jones?”

“No, dude, she’s my sister’s best friend.”

I pretend to be busy on my phone, but I’m totally eavesdropping.

“I’ve been out of school for a couple years and even I’ve heard of her. She gets around, right?”

Joel makes a low growling noise. “I don’t think it’s like that, dude.”

With my temper stoked, I stomp into the kitchen where I remember seeing mail. “Is this the address?” I ask David, who stands nearest. He nods. I hop onto my food delivery app, change the delivery address, and order enough pizza, soda, and cheese bread for a small army. If we don’t eat it now, the new roommates will probably appreciate having leftovers. I remember Bridget complaining about not having food when she first moved. Hopefully, none of the new roommates have dietary restrictions or are picky eaters.

By the time I’m done, Joel and Dylan are in the bedroom assembling Joel’s bed. The apartment door still stands open, so we hear the footsteps tromping up the stairs before anyone appears on the landing outside.

“Oh my gosh!” I cry. I leap forward and wrap my arms around Chris Trent’s shoulders. “Dude, are you the Chris moving in here?”

He grins. “I am. What on earth are you doing here? Are you here to break my heart again?”

“I never broke it in the first place.” I see there are people behind him, so I step back to let them pass. The third person to pass is Brent Post! He sees me and…wait for it…scowls. But this time I scowl back. At first, his scowl deepens, but then his face lights up with laughter.

“Am I doing it again?” he asks.

“Yes, you are. I’m getting a complex.”

Brent follows Chris into the second bedroom, and we hear greetings being exchanged when the roomies see Chris has arrived.

“What was that all about?” Ava sidles up beside me.

Bek is far more obvious. I can practically see her little fairy wings beating a million miles a minute as she hovers excitedly next to me.

“What?” I play dumb.

Ava gives me a significant look and Bek squeaks.

I laugh and tell them about the conversation we had. I even pull up the picture I took of him scowling to prove to him that he did it.

Ava laughs. “I love that you did this.”

Bek sighs. “I hope it doesn’t make him self-conscious.”

“Can you believe he’s here?” I whisper. I think David’s sister is trying to eavesdrop. She’s a couple years behind us at Oak Grove High, so I don’t want her to hear. I lean in closer and lower my volume even more. “I wonder how he knows Chris.”

“Sounds like something you’ll have to ask.” Ava waggles her eyebrows.

“Good idea, smarty pants,” I say. “When did you become so good at the art of flirting.”

Ava stops acting coy. “Isn’t that just making conversation?”

I blow out a breath. “Depends on how you deliver it, I guess.”

Bek, Ava, and I help Chris unload his stuff. By the time we’re done, the pizza arrives and I’m the hero of the hour because everybody is starving. Chris brought a tattered loveseat to add to the living room, so a few people get to sit on furniture, but the rest of us crash on the floor, happy to be off our achy feet. David’s mom digs through boxes until she pulls out almost enough glasses and mugs for everybody to pour themselves soda. Ava, Bek, and I share a mug. The three of us are seated on the floor in the dining area, leaning against the walls. David’s sister and brother are with us. Brent settles his long, graceful body across from me and next to Bek. When I need another piece of pizza, I just grab a box and put it on the floor in the middle of our circle. Everybody digs in for more at once, and Brent’s fingers brush mine. We share a laugh, but I’m disappointed when I don’t see any other emotion in his gaze. Clearly, he didn’t feel the electric sizzle of awareness I felt.

I’ve stuffed myself full and am forced to lean back to make room for my stomach. It looks like everybody else is done too. David’s family thanks me for the pizza and they say their goodbyes. Ava and Bek make an excuse to move into the living room, and I shift until I’m sitting next to Brent, leaning back on my hands, with my legs straight in front of me, crossed at the ankles. It’s a better position for my stuffed tummy.

“What a surprise to see you here,” I say.

“You too. I didn’t put two and two together about Ava being Joel’s sister and you and Ava being close friends.”

“Amazingly, I don’t really know Joel well. So, I was surprised when they asked Bek and me to help today.” Brent stares down at the floor at something, so I study his profile. His ski-slope nose and sharp cheekbones are more defined from the side than from the front. His lips too. Wow. What nice lips he has. “How do you know Chris?”

“Track. I know Joel too, but not as well.”

“I didn’t know you did track.” I squint at him. “Your movements are so fluid and graceful. That doesn’t come from running though, does it? Have you done dance or another sport?”

His eyebrows arch and he peeks at me from under his bangs. “Graceful, really?”

I hum my agreement.

He shrugs. “No, I’ve only ever run. I’ve never had anyone call me graceful either. Or fluid for that matter. Awkward, yes. Lanky, yes.”

“Oh.” I stretch the word out as a realization strikes me. “You’re just now—” I stop, unable to say aloud what I now recognize, having two brothers who went through it too. He’s coming into himself. Getting used to a body that grew too fast. But that sounds really lame even though the thought of it makes me blush.

“What? I’m what?” he asks.

He’s curious, but not eager to know what I’m going to say. He’s still not really flirting either. This guy isn’t showing much interest in me even though we’re getting along better than when I first showed up at the bookstore. I’m beginning to wonder if he has an excellent poker face. There’s only one way to find out. I take a deep breath and decide to play my hand. “Do you want to go to dinner with me?”

He straightens. “Me?”

I look around. “You’re the only one here.”

“And you?”

I squint. Not sure how to answer, I nod.

“Tonight?”

I smile. “No, not tonight. Another night.”

He pauses. He’s playing with a strand of the carpet. Rolling it between his finger and his thumb. Though he’s clearly considering the question, he still has no discernable expression on his face to let me know which direction he’s leaning. I want to scream my frustration, but I’m afraid I’ll throw up if I open my mouth. Nerves on top of a full belly isn’t a great idea.

Dylan’s desperate voice comes from Joel’s room, “Ava, can you please bring your tiny fingers in here to help us assemble this bed?”

I smile at her as she strolls by. Her expression looks like she’s about to enter a fairy grotto instead of a boys’ room.

Suddenly, Chris plops on the floor in front of us. I flinch involuntarily when he drapes his arm over my shoulders.

“How’s my favorite ex-girlfriend doing?”

I roll my eyes. He’s always given our two dates more weight than they deserve. We never even kissed. “I’m okay. How’s my favorite ex-date?” I give extra emphasis to the last word to underscore our lack of a previous relationship.

He slams a fist over his heart. “You wound me. I’ve been pining away for you since we broke up.”

“Chris, we only went on two dates. And it was almost two years ago. You’ve never even tried to date me again. Stop acting like it was more.” Usually, this act of his is funny, but right now, in front of Brent, it’s making me uncomfortable. Especially after what I heard David’s brother say.”

Chris takes my hand in his and kisses the back of it. “But you’ll always be special to me, Sam. Thanks for the pizza.”

I smile uncomfortably as he gets up and disappears into his room. I shift my gaze to Brent. “That was awkward.”

He forces a smile too when he lifts his brows in acknowledgment.

“So, back to my question. Would you like to go out sometime?” My heart pounds loudly in my ears. I’m trying to look relaxed, but I feel stiff and wooden.

“I don’t think so, Sam. Thanks, though.” He flashes a smile and then rocks forward to stand. “I’m gonna go help Chris unpack. Thanks for the pizza.”

He doesn’t look at me, so he doesn’t see that I can’t even pretend to be polite. My stomach aches with the rejection, and I’m worried the food I ate will end up on the ugly tan carpet. I can’t even catch a breath. It’s like Brent kicked me in the chest with his rejection

Across the room, Ava’s gaze tracks from where Brent just disappeared into Chris’s room to lock with mine. Her furrowed brow tells me she knows something just went wrong. She mouths, “You okay?” I’m too gutted to even respond. I let my gaze drop away from hers as my heart breaks.