Page 10

Chapter Ten

I stare at the empty pool. This is the most boring summer ever. With Ava and Bek working, I have way too much time on my hands. I look at the pile of magazines next to me and sigh. I’ve paged through them several times already, and the idea of seeing the color schemes for the upcoming fall season again makes my head hurt.

My head falls back against the chaise. Am I the shallowest person ever? I have no interests beyond finding my next date. I don’t volunteer like Ava. I don’t create art like Bek. Even Ava’s boyfriend Dylan fixes cars, and now he volunteers—willingly—with Ava.

I sigh. It isn’t like I need a job. So, maybe I could volunteer. I couldn’t work with animals though. Dogs know I’m afraid of them and cats hate me. What other kinds of volunteer gigs are there?

I pull out my phone and google “volunteer opportunities in Oak Grove.”

No, I don’t think I’d be good with old people. Working at the hospital is too germy. There are so many volunteer gigs that work with kids. Kids are not my strength. Oh my god. I’m just realizing that I have no strengths. I bang my head against my chaise in frustration. The springy mesh allows it to bounce back again, without doing damage.

Maybe volunteering isn’t my thing. I know art isn’t either. What do people do to fill their time?

I type the question into my browser. The number one response is read.

I blink at my screen. Is the universe trying to tell me something? Fine. I fill my browser with “Best books for nonreaders.” The first response is a young adult book, which surprises me. I read the blurb. With phrases like “hot ghost” and “delightfully funny” I can’t help but hit the “buy” button and download a copy to my phone.

I snuggle into my chaise and start to read.

A shiver races through my body. I glance up toward the sun to see if the sky is clouding up. Except the sun isn’t up in the sky. It’s hovering over the horizon. I check the time and blink. I’ve been reading for hours. Like six or so. I’m nearing the end of the book and I think the main character, Suze, is finally going to successfully deal with Heather’s ghost. I can’t just stop reading now. I grab my stuff and race inside. Plop myself on the couch in the family room and keep reading.

An hour and a half later, I finish the book and feel like I’ve just said goodbye to a good friend who is leaving on a long trip. The sun has set, and my empty stomach protests my neglect. I wander into the kitchen to see what’s in the refrigerator. Nothing. The freezer. Nothing. The pantry. Cereal. Back to the fridge. No milk. When everyone lived at home, there was always food in the house, but since Bridget moved out, it’s like Mom’s done being a mom. I guess that’s not true. She still gives me Mom advice and scolds me when I do something wrong or forget to do something altogether. She’s just done grocery shopping.

I give in and order from my favorite Chinese restaurant. Since I must wait for it to arrive, I might as well download the next book in the series. My phone’s about to die though, so I go up to my room and plug it in, and dive right into the next book, stopping only to retrieve my food from the front steps and grab a drink.

My eyelids start drooping sometime after 1:00 a.m., and I realize that I’ve been reading for more than twelve hours straight. That’s crazy! I haven’t responded to any texts or scrolled social media. I heard my parents come in a couple hours ago, but didn’t bother to pop my head out of my room to say hello like I normally would, because I was in the middle of an intense scene when I heard them climbing the stairs.

I force myself to close my reading app and put my phone on my bedside table. I curl up with my back to my phone so it can’t taunt me. My mind is full of Suze’s world, her stepbrothers, and her hot cowboy ghost. What would it be like to go to school at a million-year-old mission? And to live by the ocean? My dream. I love how capable and independent Suze is, but her stubbornness frustrates me. She doesn’t know how to ask for or accept help, and it totally screws things up. Oh, my goodness, and to have a hot ghost living in your bedroom? Crazy. I totally understand why she’s self-conscious about changing her clothes. What if he’s watching?

I rub my face, trying to release some of the…is it tension? Whatever it is, it feels strange. Is this how Ava feels all the time? Or is it only because I read for such a long stretch? Maybe this is why Brent doesn’t flirt with me. He’s too busy communing with the characters in his head to bother getting to know someone new.

As I drift off to sleep, I feel like I understand him a little better.

I sleep in later than usual and wake up rubbing my sandpapery eyes. It isn’t a surprise that I dreamed about Suze and Jesse. As I lay in bed, I’m trying to ground myself back in my own world instead of Carmel-by-the-sea. Today, Bek and I are going to a movie and shopping, and I need to be present. Bek is flighty enough for the both of us. We don’t need me living in another world as well.

I turn on some music so I can sing along while I shower and get ready for the day. As I blow-dry my hair, I lean toward the mirror and realize my eyes are bloodshot. Must be from my reading fest. I have a mild headache, too. I’ve heard Ava use the term “book hangover” before and wonder if that’s what I have.

I throw on a skirt and a tank and slip on my favorite sandals. I have a little time before I have to head over to Bek’s, so I plop on the couch and decide to read a chapter or two.

When a text pops up from Bek asking, Where are you? You okay? I leap to my feet, grab my purse, and run out the door, typing my reply after I dive into the driver’s seat of my car.

Me: Got distracted. On my way.

Bek: No worries. I’ll get our tickets so that we can just go straight in.

Bek is squatting in her front yard when I pull up. She skips over to the car as soon as she sees me.

“What were you doing?” I ask by way of greeting.

“Talking to the bees,” Bek says. “Mom lets our dandelions grow for them. I was just asking if there were enough for them.”

“Did they answer?” I eye her suspiciously.

“No.” Bek stares out her window with a happy little grin on her face. “But one did land on my hand and crawl around for a while.”

“Did it sting you?”

“It didn’t have any reason to. I wasn’t threatening it. ”

At the theater, we must park in the second lot. I fan myself with my clutch purse as we speed walk across the blacktop. “I’m so glad we’re spending the hottest part of the afternoon in an air-conditioned theater.”

Bek, who never looks like she’s hurrying, even when we are, smiles benignly. “Why? You have air conditioning at home. You could just stay there if it’s too hot.”

“True, and you could hang with me, so you don’t melt also. I just like to get out of the house as often as possible.” Even as I say it, I realize for the first time ever that I’d rather be home reading. How strange.

Bek holds her phone screen out to the ticket taker who scans the barcode and confirms there are only two of us entering. He points us in the direction of our theater before turning to the group of kids entering behind us. They are likely here to see the latest superhero movie. Bek and I are here for the latest rom-com. If I had to live in a movie for the rest of my life, I would want it to be a romantic comedy.

Because we’re late, we don’t get to sit in the middle like we usually do, but we find pretty good seats halfway up and just to the right of center. The previews are already playing when we sit down, so we don’t have long to wait for the movie to start.

Bek leans over and whispers, “This is based on a book. I can’t wait to see how true it is to the storyline.”

Bek isn’t an avid reader like Ava, but she’s always working through a book. I look at her with wide eyes when I realize that I can read romantic comedies too.

“What?” she asks.

“Nothing. I just…you made me think of something.”

The theater goes dark, so Bek turns back to the screen.

The movie is funny and poignant, sad, and uplifting. And the entire time I’m watching it, I wonder what it would have been like to discover the story through the book.