Page 51 of Bonds of Starfall

They hadn’t been able to find a body…

It hurt to picture Kit in a thousand pieces, floating lifeless through space. Or maybe he had fallen back into Earth’s orbit and burned up, ash scattered over her. Maybe she was even breathing him in right now. Each soft, weary inhale, taking a piece of her best friend inside her.

The prayer washed over her, meaningless. Rin’s eyes drifted, finding Lucien dressed in a simple black suit, standing among the crowd of fake mourners. Except that the shine in his eyes under his glasses seemed genuine; the downturned tip to his lips made her heart clench in solemn companionship. She felt—no, she knew—that Lucien was saddened by this. Maybe because he and Rin had grown so close in the week since Kit’s death, ormaybe it was something else. Either way, she was so grateful for him in this moment, for the way he found her eyes and forced a smile onto his lips, giving her a tiny nod of reassurance.

The prayer ended, the pastor calling for the family to step aside so condolences could be shared. Sabine wrapped a cold arm around Rin’s shoulder, folding a hand over the bell sleeve of her black gown. "I told you to iron this before you wore it," she tsked, leading her to a copse of trees in the shade.

Rin didn’t reply.

Faceless people stepped forward in a blur to shake their hands and tell them all how wonderful Kit was, how much morelifehe had left. It was getting harder for Rin to ignore the ache of unfathomable grief burning in her throat.

Just when she thought she was going to fall to the ground and curl into a ball, it was over.

The mourners who didn’t care about Kit got into their cars and drove away. Going to lunch, going to a happy house, soon forgetting all about the man who didn’t even have a body to bury.

Sabine left Rin’s side, walking to the casket and placing a pale hand on top of it, head bowed. Her hair was impeccable, brown with blonde highlights. Talor came to Rin’s side, a hand falling on her shoulder. She looked up at him—the sight of his freckles made her heart squeeze.

"Vesperin." Talor’s voice was low and deep. His brown eyes fell to the dog tag around her neck. "Sabine and I will be staying in Solar City indefinitely. Come back home. Don’t stay at the Academy." She saw the faintest glimpse of heavy emotion seep from Talor’s careful control. "Families must stick together in a time like this."

"Okay," she whispered brokenly, staring at the casket.

Talor squeezed her shoulder and dropped his hand.

He called for Sabine, the woman wrapping her arm around Rin too tightly, before they both piled into their car and left.

Rin didn’t move.

"How are you doing, Vesperin?" Lucien murmured lowly from her side. The sound of his voice made her look up, seeing the graveyard empty—besides them.

The lilies on top of the casket swayed in the wind, and her heart stuttered dangerously in her chest. She didn’t wince, even as the squeezing motion made her head swim.

When she didn’t speak, Lucien opened an arm, folding her into his chest with an ease that seemed like they had been together for lifetimes. Her cheek brushed against his chest—it was dark there. Safe. He smelled of spiced sandalwood.

"It should’ve—" Her words broke off in a choked sob, clawing its way up her throat. She couldn’t contain it anymore.

Lucien’s hand soothed over her hair. He didn’t speak, just swayed her gently. Like the lilies in the wind.

Eventually, Rin pulled away from Lucien with a desperate noise, taking one step toward the casket. Her ankle twisted, her knees gave out—and suddenly she was on the ground. There was no strength left to catch her. Her lungs heaved for air that wouldn’t come as she stayed kneeling, fingers curled into the bits of grass peeking up from the edge of the carpet.

Her white hair hung over her shoulders as she wept, tears falling from her cheeks in a steady stream of sadness. She felt like she might die from this.

"It should’ve been me," she sobbed. "I was supposed to die before him."

Firm hands touched her back as Lucien knelt by her side, holding her through her tears and grief.

She wept as if something had been torn from her—because it had. No matter how tightly she clenched her fists, she couldn’t grasp what had already been taken.

"You weren’t supposed to make me try to live w-without you… It was supposed to be m-me," Rin hiccuped through her tears. "I should have asked you to stay."

The graveyard was still and empty, and she broke apart in the quiet, the sound of her sobs endless.

7

REMNANTS

Sabine Blackfall watched as the water, laced with Somnocept, slid past Vesperin’s slightly parted lips.

Unbothered, Sabine lifted a bite of roasted chicken to her mouth, staring at Vesperin—her adopted daughter and last goddamn hope—as she placed the glass down, melting ice clinking against the side. From across the table, Talor caught Sabine’s eye, a knowing light shining within. Those brown eyes—so similar to Kiton’s. Sabine felt sad, almost. But then the soft knock of guilt fled from her cold, dead heart like a coward.