Page 48 of Bonds of Starfall

She licked her lips, wishing she knew what he wanted from her. Did he want her to ask him to stay? Or was he only being nice and playing the role of big brother?

"Where?" she asked instead, anything to not give in to the selfish tears burning the backs of her eyes. She would be fine—she could be alone.

"Sibeth," Kit answered softly. "A Rogue got in from an illegal ship, and they need someone from the Fleet to pilot a ship there with Hunters."

She searched his eyes, feeling the peace from the shadow leaving her with every breath, replaced by a burning ache in her abused heart. She couldn’t rely on him forever, no matter how much she wanted. He would find someone one day—a pretty girl who wouldn’t burn his lasagna, and look beautiful sitting in the passenger seat of his car. Someone who wouldn’t be Rin.

She had to let him go.

"Go. I’ll be okay here, Kit. Besides, Dr. Lucien is only a call away. He’s been texting, wants to make sure I’ve been taking my pills like I’m supposed to. I’ll be back at the Academy by Monday. I feel fine now, besides how tired the pills make me."

Kit’s hands landed softly on the countertops by her thighs, the sides of his thumbs brushing her bare leg. "Don’t play that game with me. I know all your tricks. You don’t have to put on a brave face… It’s okay to need someone."

It took everything in her not to reach forward and fall into his arms—maybe go further, and touch the side of his jaw, tilt his face down to hers, and taste his lips one more time before reality set in.

"I’m fine." Rin’s lips twitched with a wan smile. "Tell me everything when you come back home." But that only made her think of all the clubs and brothels on Sibeth. She tried not to imagine him falling into the arms of some succubus temptress.

Kit rolled his bottom lip between his teeth, watching her. "You’re really okay?"

She nodded.

No, she wasn’t.

He sighed, turning his back on her as he faced the living room. She hoped the low hum of the television muted her stuttering heart.

"I leave in the morning." His voice was strangled.

This was for the best, though. They could never have anything more than what they had right now.

As Kit left to grab a broom for the broken glass, Rin found her eyes drifting back to the window. It was even darker outside now. No shadows were to be found, only the tree limbs swaying in the balmy breeze.

Maybe the Nova in her heart was making her hallucinate.

Rin wasawake when Kit left in the early hours of the morning. She heard his footsteps as he walked into her room, the soft whoosh of air as her bedroom door opened, the clickingof his boots on her floor, the shuffling of them across her many rugs.

She blinked, lying on her side, facing her closet doors and the small mirror on top of her vanity. She watched as Kit stepped into her room. His uniform made him appear untouchable. The dark coat, slim-fit black pants, and gloves. Unruly brown hair poked out from under his black cap, and her lips tipped into a drowsy smile.

The bed dipped behind her as he sat, and she rolled over to meet him.

"Are you sure you don’t need me to—to stay?" he asked, voice so low she had to strain to hear it over the whir of her ceiling fan.

"Go, Kit. Do what you have to do… When the time comes, and I might be called away because of duty, I’d want you to tell me to go, too." She spoke freely, in this hazy space between waking and sleep. She understood the line they could never cross—so why didn’t he?

Still, her hands traveled across the soft duvet, searching for his. Her pinky brushed against the side of his glove, and his throat worked as he laced his fingers between hers. The glove was a barrier between them. A reminder.

He held her for a moment, watching her and the way her white, sleep-tussled hair fanned above her on her pillow, the fluttering canopy casting shadows on her pale cheeks and grey eyes.

"Your medicine is on the counter. I refilled your prescription for you, just in case." He knew she didn’t like to take more than she had to, didn’t want to be dependent and doped-up, but the option was there, regardless.

"Thank you," she rasped, voice thick with sleep.

With the hand that did not hold hers, he reached up and smoothed a lock of hair away from her temples. "I have to go."

His brown eyes searched hers, and before Rin could realize, he was leaning down, leaning over, and her eyelids fluttered, a gasp clinging to her slightly chapped lips.

But he did not press his lips to hers—a part of her cried because of it. No, he breathed softly against her temples, and his warm lips pressed tenderly to the space between her brows. Her fingers flexed in his hand, and when he started to pull away, she held on, just for a minute.

"Kit." Rin swallowed. "I?—"