Page 177 of Bonds of Starfall

The thoughts fizzled away until all he knew was her face, her pleas, and the orders he was given.

She kept begging him to understand, but her words fell on his unhearing ears.

Her words barely made sense to him. He was nothing. He was no one.

And he would never answer to anyone but those who’d made him who he was.

This unfeeling monster.

One more round.Increase the voltage.

She had long since passed out, but Kit had not been allowed to stop. He did as he was told—nothing more and nothing less.

He increased the dial, then triggered the pulses. Her prone body jerked against her bindings, bare chest exposed. It was indecent.

He swallowed thickly and looked away. He felt like he needed to throw up.

His thumb hovered over the button.

Stop,the order came through, imprinted over the vision of her passed-out form.

Kit released a breath, carefully moving his fingers away from the dials and buttons.

As the electricity sizzled away, she stilled, shoulders jumping every so often with aftershocks.

He eyed her curiously. No more orders came through. He walked closer to her, gaze dipping to her chest. He hadn’t noticed before, but something sparkling and silver was tangled around her neck. He lifted it to the light, knuckles brushing her skin, yet feeling nothing.

A dog tag, the edges slightly bent and worn.

Memories consumed him.

Pain lanced through Kit’s mind. Memories of the blast, the jerking bodies of the Hunters as they’d been shot between their eyes with lethal aim. The mangled remains of his arm.

The fingers of his prosthetic curled around the dog tag.

He knew he had felt horror at one point, but couldn’t quite muster anything else.

Kit focused on her.

Her face was pained even in sleep.

He felt numb to everything except?—

Vesperin.

She pierced the numbness with something strange and heavy.

To her sleeping body, he whispered. "I feel the strange inclination to ask for your forgiveness. What is this feeling? What have you done to me?"

The words were consumed by the cold quiet of the room, echoed by her breathing.

Leave.

Kit let the dog tag go; it fell back to her chest. He let himself take one more breath of her. She smelled like cherries and home.

He left without a backward glance, reporting to the doctors.

They had been monitoring her vitals as Kit carried out the electroshock therapy. Kit stood silently by the monitors, staring at the vitals flashing on the screen, his hands folded in front of him.