Page 41 of Blood and Magic (RBMC: Helena, MT #2)

Maeve

H e loved me.

He really loved me.

And fuck, I loved him.

It had been only a month, but I knew in my bones that I adored him with a ferocity I’d never experienced. I had for a long time. Was that love? I didn’t have other words for it, and I couldn’t explain it any other way.

Despite this rare moment of honesty, I knew he still craved me in ways he thought were deplorable.

According to Guin and Kodiak, drinking blood wasn’t normal for shifters.

Some enjoyed a good blood kink, but that wasn’t what was going on with Mill.

He said he couldn’t control it, that the urge nearly overwhelmed him.

We hadn’t had sex since the morning in the shower three days ago.

He hadn’t outright said it was because he wanted to drink from me, but we were still connected on a metaphysical level. I felt his urges like they were my own.

It had been four days since the full moon, and we still hadn’t done anything about the vampires who attacked Vanderbilt Ranch. They’d brought what remained of our livestock to the homestead, but knowing they were safe did not erase the memories of the countless more we’d lost.

Guin had insisted they would call in reinforcements before we went after the Scorpions, but it didn’t make me feel better.

In the meantime, we tended to the people who had died on the ranch.

We paid our respects to Ellen and the others, even if we couldn’t attend their memorials.

Her loss ached in the pit of my stomach like a void, one I would never get over.

When I felt up to it, Mill and I went to his sister, the pack’s healer, for blood tests. She wanted to find out why he was reacting this way. Even still, I felt like he was keeping something from me, holding something back.

After all these days cooped up in the homestead, I felt like a zoo animal, poked, prodded, and stared at by everyone who passed me.

They whispered to themselves, giggling and pointing at the strange new thing.

I was sitting in the cafeteria, minding my own business as I picked at a bagel and ignored the gossip, when someone plopped down onto the bench in front of me.

“Cheer up,” came the familiar voice. “It’s not that bad.”

I glanced up at the big emerald eyes of my sister, Sol. She looked tanned and bright, her ginger hair pulled back into a ponytail. Relief flooded my body, and I stood, sprinting around the table so I could pull her into a hug.

“God, I missed you,” I said.

“Yeah, I bet.” She let me go so she could grab my shoulders and run her gaze over the length of me. “Well, you look like you made it through the transition and the full moon in one piece.”

“Barely.” I sighed and shook my head. “I should be furious you kept this from me, but I’m just so damned happy to see you, I could cry.”

She laughed and ran her fingers over the bite on my neck, which had turned into a pink mark that would heal in a few days.

“So Mill, huh?” She raised her eyebrows.

I returned to my side of the table and sat, continuing my breakfast. “It’s a mess.”

“Go on.” She sat opposite me and crossed her hands, seemingly ready for the entire tale. I glanced around at all the other packmates in the cafeteria, all the other ears and eyes ready to spread more gossip.

“I’ll tell you later,” I said. “How was your honeymoon?”

“Much shorter than I planned,” she answered. “But completely amazing.”

“That’s wonderful.” I grabbed her palm and squeezed, hoping to send reassurance her way. I was happy for her. She and Orion seemed good for each other, and now that I was a shifter, I sensed her joy through the bond between us.

“There you are,” said another voice from our side. I looked up at a girl with brown curly hair and sandy skin, her big hazel eyes kind as they landed on me.

“You mind if I sit here?” she asked with a smile.

“Please,” Sol said, scooting over so the other person could sit. “It’s good to see you, Ginny.”

“You too.” Ginny looked at me and held out her hand. “You must be the newest member of the pack.”

“I am.” I gave it a firm squeeze. “Though I haven’t been officially inducted yet.”

“Soon enough,” she said. “My dad won’t let you hang out for long without a pact.”

Her dad.

Kodiak.

“You’re the alpha’s daughter?” Now that she said it, I could see the resemblance in her bone structure. She had the same nose, eye shape, and mouth as her father.

“One of them. My sister’s Henny. She’s at school.” She pointed over her shoulder, suggesting it was across the hall. Two people walked by, giggling and talking in hushed tones while they looked at me. Ginny glared at them, baring her teeth with a loud hiss. “Fuck off, Amelia.”

Amelia and her friend averted their gazes and scurried away.

“Sorry about them.” She tilted her head and assessed me. “We’re not used to newcomers, especially not Vanderbilts. You’d think they would have gotten over it after Sol mated Orion.”

“People are always going to talk,” Sol said with a small smile. “They’re not so bad after a while.”

“Of course.” I rubbed the bite on my neck and noticed a similar mark on Sol, lower, near her shoulder.

It had turned into a scar, its bright white lines standing out against her skin.

It must have been her mating mark, which claimed her as Orion’s.

Mill hadn’t done the same to me, not like that, and despite saying he loved me, I doubted he ever would.

Over the past four days, he’d barely touched me, too afraid he’d start craving again.

Did I even want to be mated to him? My inner fox purred at the idea, thwapping her tail against the barriers of my mind. She ached for that kind of connection. The one we’d created during my transition had started to fade; it would probably be entirely gone by tomorrow.

Ginny and Sol discussed their plans for the day, but I went silent, retreating into my own navel-gazing ruminations.

“What about you, Maeve?” Ginny asked. “Wanna get out of this place and go for a walk with me?”

I perked up at the mention of going outside.

Mill barely let me leave his room, and according to Kodiak, I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere unsupervised.

Not that I gave much thought to his permission, but with the Scorpions on the run and us still waiting for reinforcements, I had to agree that walking around alone wasn’t the best idea.

“I would love to,” I said. “But I’d better check with Mill first. With the Scorpions running around, he’s been… territorial.”

Sol snorted. “Yeah, I bet.”

“They get like that, those alpha males. You’re probably lucky he lets you out of his sight.” Ginny grinned, and I admired how it lit up her entire face. “Are you sure you don’t want to come, Sol?”

“I promised Orion I would help him with the animals this morning,” she said. “You two go. I’ll catch up when I can.”

“Okay.” Ginny stood and nodded toward the door. “C’mon. Let’s find your male, and then I’ll give you the homestead tour no one else knows about.”

I hugged my sister goodbye and followed Ginny out of the cafeteria and down the hallway.

I thought it might take longer to find Mill, but I followed my intuition through the underground tunnels of the connected buildings, sensing his presence running through my veins.

It was faint but still a thrumming mystical shimmer that exploded whenever I approached him.

He was in the tech room with the other IT pack members, flicking through computer screens and chattering around, upgrading the cameras.

At first, he was happy to see me, but his grin quickly disappeared into a scowl after I explained that I wanted to explore with Ginny.

“No,” he said. “Absolutely not. We don’t know where the Scorpions are, and I don’t have time to go with you, not right now.”

“Mill, I’m dying in here. I have to get some fresh air.” I put on my best pout while Ginny talked to Channing a few feet away. “It’s not like I need your permission. I just want to be safe.”

He took a deep breath and ran his hands over his face, and a thick wave of anxiety poured out of him, coating my lungs with dread as heavy as steel.

“Fine,” he finally said, glancing over his shoulder. “Holden!”

The younger wolf walked over and raised his eyebrows. “Yeah, boss?”

“Take the girls out for a walk, will you?” Mill grabbed Holden’s shoulder in a friendly pat.

“Oh, thank fuck,” Holden said. “I need to get out of this place. These early curfews are making me antsy.”

“See?” I said with a smug indignant look. “Even your own pack mates are getting cabin fever.”

Mill snorted and shook his head. “Keep an eye on your six, got it? And if anything strange happens, call it in. I don’t care if it’s a squirrel that smells funny.”

“Ten-four,” Holden said, giving a mock salute before turning to me. “C’mon. Let’s stretch our legs.”

“Thank you!” I pushed up on my toes and kissed Mill before yelling for Ginny.

Feeling better now that I had a bodyguard, I followed Ginny and Holden down the corridors and out a side door that led to the courtyard.

It was a gorgeous morning, the sun bright against clear blue skies, and the scorching heat of summer hadn’t yet taken over the day.

Holden led the way, and Ginny stepped beside me as we wandered toward a path in the tree line.

“Hey, Ginny,” someone called, “Where ya going with the Vanderbilt girl?”

Ginny turned to the older guy and waved. “Just walking the trails. We’ll be back in an hour.”

The guy looked like he wanted to say something else, but ultimately let it go. “Be careful out there, okay?”

“You got it, Polar,” she said, “Holden’s going with us.”

“Alright,” Polar shouted back, but his tone made it sound like it was anything but alright.

Mill’s trepidation mixed with Polar’s half-warning caused a brief sting of anxiety to swell in my gut. “Are you sure this is okay?”

Holden flashed me a pistol on his belt and nodded. “We’re not going outside of the perimeter. Trust me. No one’s getting past our patrols.”