Page 54 of Blind Devotion (Letters of Ruin #1)

“What’s all this?” I asked, walking into the living area, wearing only my nightgown, covered with a silk robe. The commotion was overwhelming.

The dining table was already full. I couldn’t pass my fingers over the grain of the wood more than three inches in either direction without hitting a plate.

Yet hotel staff kept transferring more metal cloches wobbling shrilly on serving dishes onto the wood surface, each one with a soft clack.

Bacon, hash browns, eggs, sausages, freshly baked croissants and pain au chocolat , fresh fruit, freshly pressed orange juice, and so much more from the mouthwatering smells.

Something was also scratching its way down into the ice bucket, probably a bottle of champagne, from the green blob sticking out of it.

This was an obscene amount of room service.

“Everyone out,” Adrien barked.

I cinched the satiny robe tighter around myself, feeling a little out of sorts. What was all this about?

I vaguely remembered Adrien carrying me through the hotel and tucking me in bed last night with a soft goodnight kiss to my lips. It made me feel safe, cherished, and loved. That was enough to send me into a deep, uninterrupted sleep.

In the light of a new day, the shitstorm of the last two days assaulted me like a baseball bat to the head. Was this his way of trying to derail our talk once again?

Quickly, the last pattering of footsteps and roll of cart wheels vanished behind the shut door to the suite. In their absence, quiet settled like an ocean between us. Where exactly did we stand?

“Thank you…” I cleared my throat, hugging my waist. “For coming for us last night.”

“You never have to thank me for that. Ever.” There was so much remorse in the way he said that I didn’t understand. “Eat. You had an eventful night. Your body needs the food.”

My stomach growled and bubbled against my hold on my waist, but it felt like sitting down and eating, as if there were no issues between us, was equivalent to sweeping them under the metaphorical rug.

The balcony doors must have been opened as a breeze swept through the room. Now that no one was here but us, the noise of morning traffic and honked horns filtered through. The Lyon cathedral bells tolled, only once, meaning we were halfway through the hour.

“What time is it?”

“Eight thirty. There’s still time.”

Before my audition, he meant. We had about two hours. I hadn’t even realized how worried I was about that, and I felt my shoulders loosen.

His dress shoes clipped across the room until he was blacking out my entire view with the dark-gray suit sculpted over his impressive form.

One hand swept around my neck and into my hair, the other pulled me close by my waist. He engulfed me in his warmth and scent, and it felt so good to be there again after what happened last night. I melted into his embrace.

“I was a fool,” he whispered against my hair.

“Adrien?” I pulled back gently. His hand cupped my face, his thumb massaging the skin around my eye with a slight tremble.

“I caused all this.”

“No.”

He nodded against me. “And I almost caused worse last night.”

“That’s not on you. You didn’t kidnap me.”

“No, I let it happen by abandoning you like I did years ago. Never again. You have to believe that, Tessa. Never. Again. I will stand by your side every moment of every day. I’m never leaving you out of my sight again.”

“That’s a little extreme.”

“I don’t give a shit.” His hold around my neck tightened. “Last night almost gave me a heart attack. If I’d lost you…”

“You didn’t.” I leaned into his hand. “You’re not going to, but we need to talk. I just want your honesty.”

I debated telling him what I remembered, but this had to come from him.

He had to be willing to put the work into it.

A relationship wasn’t just about jumping in, guns blazing, when an outside force threatened to tear us apart.

A big part of it was working out our kinks and squabbles.

If we couldn’t do that now, then this, us, was doomed.

My stomach growled. Loudly. Apparently, it was done waiting.

Adrien tugged me down into a chair over his lap, straddling his legs. My robe slipped open as my nightgown rode up to my stomach. “I’ll talk, but you’ll eat.”

The moment I opened my mouth to protest, he stuffed the tail end of a croissant inside. Buttery, flaky goodness crackled over my tongue as he swept his fingers up and down my spine. Sparks ignited down the line of touch, and I tried not to moan. This wasn’t the time.

“On your fifteenth birthday, you asked me for a wish I couldn’t give you,” he started, pressing the rest of the croissant to my lips.

“I knew of your crush, but I foolishly never thought you’d act on it.

I’d gotten it in my head that we were friends, bound to be wed one day far off, but that didn’t mean we’d have a traditional marriage. ”

I shut my eyes tight, so flipping embarrassed of my childhood crush. He really had seen me as an obligation.

“Back then, I never thought of you as more. I don’t think I let myself, but you always mattered to me. Don’t think otherwise.” He wiped my chin of croissant flakes. “Coffee or juice?”

“Coffee.” He placed a warm mug in my hands. From the smell, he’d already added milk. From the taste, he’d mixed in the perfect amount of sugar. I smiled softly.

“Your request threw me. I didn’t react as I should have when I left you there on that beach. You have no idea how much I regretted it.”

“How could I? You never talked to me like you used to after that.”

“I couldn’t. I didn’t know Yannick was there or had any idea what he intended to do. I swear I never would’ve left otherwise.”

He took my empty mug and placed it back on the table.

“I realized my error too late. You were bleeding profusely by the time I wrestled him off you.” His fingers rubbed my robe over the small white scars beneath the nightgown. “I should have killed him.”

“He was your brother.”

“He stopped being my brother when I was eight years old. I still felt too fucking guilty to see it. So Renzo did what I couldn’t do.

” He exhaled deeply and pressed a fruit tart to my lips.

“There were no witnesses. No one saw Renzo snap his neck but me. It should’ve stayed that way, but your brother and I weren’t quiet while we carried you back to the house to wait for the ambulance.

I don’t remember what we yelled at each other.

All I know is that my father understood Yannick was dead and Renzo was to blame.

They didn’t know I was on the verge of doing it myself when Renzo stepped in.

I would’ve, Tessa. I swear I would’ve. You have no idea how much I’ve hated myself for not doing it the moment I found him atop you. ”

I swallowed my last bit of food and leaned my head against his chest, not sure what to say to help him through this. I didn’t care about would’ves or should’ves. It was done and over with, and supposing changed nothing. This was about acknowledging past hurts and overcoming them.

“Why weren’t you at the hospital?”

He kissed my hair. “You remember that?”

“Yes,” I whispered. He sighed.

“Your brother was arrested for Yannick’s death under my father’s urging. They listed me as a witness.”

“What?”

“I knew how much he meant to you. If you woke up and found out he was in prison, I worried what it would do to your recovery. So, I denounced myself.”

I frowned, circling my arms around his neck.

“But you didn’t…”

“I told the police I did it, knowing it would exonerate Renzo.”

“They arrested you?”

“No, the De Villier reach is too wide for that. My father squashed my confession before it went any further. However, that meant he had to destroy the entire case. Renzo was free to go.”

His fingers stilled against my back.

“My father never forgave me. I was always fighting for his approval ever since I was little, but this was worse. He couldn’t stand to look at me after that.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t. Don’t pity me. He was a decent father, in his own way, but I couldn’t see that my guilt over Yannick’s and my kidnapping gave him more power over me than he should have had.”

“Is he why you and I…?”

I felt his nod against my cheek.

“At first, it was me. I thought I’d failed you.

That you deserved better from a friend than someone who would leave you behind in the face of danger.

Then it was the new duties I learned to take on with Yannick’s death.

I rarely had time to sleep that first year.

I think my father knew he wasn’t feeling well.

That something was going to happen to him.

The rare times he spoke to me outside of business, he told me I was showing disloyalty and weakness by keeping our friendship alive after what your brother did. He kept saying I needed to choose.”

“And you did.” I closed my eyes, not sure I wanted to hear this part.

“Not the way you think. I gave a man his dying wish.”

“Oh, Adrien.” My eyes watered through scrunched eyelids.

“I was an idiot. I thought for some stupid reason that giving him his last wish would erase all the disappointment he’d had for me.

” He scoffed. “No weakness. No hesitation. No pain, like he used to say. I did as he’d taught me.

I didn’t hesitate. I called you at his bedside.

I said so many things to you that I regretted, but he looked at me with so much pride in that moment.

I didn’t stop. You know what he said to me when I hung up?

‘Finally.’ That was all I got before he died. ”

“Why didn’t you ever contact me after?”

“Loyalty. Pride. Regret. Pick one. I shut the door on us. I hurt you. And I’d made a promise. I couldn’t reopen that door. I didn’t even know how to forgive myself. Not until you came back to me.”

I burrowed into his neck, tears slipping down my face, as he stroked my hair back.

“Do I have you, Tessa? Tell me I didn’t lose you. Tell me this isn’t what keeps us apart again.”

I trailed kisses up from where his suit jacket collar rested against his neck to his chin and finally his lips.

I put everything in that kiss, soft and smooth like my hope for us, deep and hard for the strength of my emotions, and finally, rough nips to his lips for all the anguish.

He gave me exactly what I asked for—honesty—and while my heart panged for the girl I once was, it wasn’t broken.

It wasn’t hurting. No, it was beating, hard and strong.

“What do you think?”

His mouth spread into a wicked grin against my own. “Thank heavens.”

His lips captured mine, telling me everything in one kiss. I was his. He was mine. His thumbs slipped into my panties from behind and tugged. I started to rise, thinking he meant to pull them down my thighs. A rip split the air, and the lacy garment fell off.

“Adrien!”

“Stay right there. You’re not getting off me until you’re full of me, tigresse .

” The metal clasp of his belt clinked, and a zipper lowered.

I squirmed in place as he untucked himself from his boxer briefs and yet stayed fully dressed.

“A part of me will be with you wherever you are today. On me. By my side. In the next room. Across town.” His cock was hot and hard, gliding between my thighs with a mix of his pre-cum and my wetness.

“No matter where we are, we’ll be together. ”

“Is that what I want?” I teased. He bit my neck and suckled on it.

“You get to choose whether you put me in or if I do. Either way, this body’s mine.”

“Oh, is it?” I liked this game. I also liked taking back a bit of the control. I slipped my hand between us, wrapped it around his thick, silky-warm shaft, and pumped him a couple of times.

“Tessa.” Who knew my name, half growled and half groaned, could be so sexy?

I rolled my hips, rubbing my juices all over him. His fingers dug into my ass cheeks.

“Get me inside you. Now.”

I tittered and kept grinding. “Make me.”

His loss of control was everything I never knew I needed.

He lifted me up, redirected the position of his dick, and slammed me back down on top of him.

I whimpered breathlessly. His mouth attacked mine as he pummeled into me from below with frantic intent.

I clung to his suit jacket, loving that he didn’t need to be soft, that he knew this was what I needed.

A release of tension and fear in a hard, fast fuck for the ages.

He bucked his hips at a new angle, reaching deeper.

I mewled. Over and over, he pounded into me.

I was reaching that peak, sprinting toward it.

I clenched tighter around him, preparing to topple over it.

Suddenly, he was lifting us. My legs wrapped around his waist. With a swipe of his hand, plates crashed to the floor in an explosion of cracks and splats.

My back landed on the cool wood, and then he was pulling out.

Before I could beg for him to get back in, his tongue was in my pussy, thrusting in and out, then licking a swipe around my clit, only to bury himself back inside. I moaned and whined for more.

Fingers replaced his tongue. His teeth nibbled my inner thighs, close but so far away from where I needed that mischievous tongue of his.

“Say you’re mine.” Another bite to my thigh, sending prickles of electric heat all over. I gasped.

“I’m yours.”

“Say you won’t leave me.”

“I won’t. I swear. Now make me come, Adrien.”

“Your wish is my command.”

I cried out in pleasure as his fingers rammed in deeper. His lips wrapped around my clit and sucked….and I was done. My body convulsed over that metaphorical cliff, and I blissed out, soaring over the world, ears ringing, legs quivering.

“ Ma rescapée. A toujours et à jamais à moi seul .” My survivor. Always and forever only mine.

From the bulge of a jewelry box in his jacket, I expected him to propose to me again. This time, I was going to say yes.

He didn’t. I was almost disappointed by that until he thrust back inside me with renewed vigor, pounding into me with all he had, my legs over his shoulders, his fingers thrumming my clit. I pitched into another orgasm, my eyes rolling back, just as he groaned loudly, and his cock jerked inside me.