Page 37 of Blade

Chapter Fourteen

Ana

Before—Eight Months at The Palace

In the back of the van, the wiry guy tossed Ana a beer, then dropped back into the beanbag next to her.

“What’s your name?” he asked.

“Ana,” she answered, popping the tab on her beer. She took a sip, swallowing a gag because it was warm and bitter and also because she couldn’t find the nerve to look at him.

He was tall and skinny, his fingers digging into her arm when he’d pulled her down to sit, bone on bone. Who was this guy, and where was he from? He smelled like sweat, and now cheap beer, and this was not at all what Jolene and Kayla had described. Butterflies (Jolene), heat (Kayla)—either way, Ana was supposed towantthings now. Like him moving closer, leaning into her, turning her face toward his, lining up for a kiss.

And how many times had she imagined her first kiss?

Back home, before she left for Echo, it was with a hockey player whose name she never knew. The way he moved on the ice—with an even pace and steady gaze. Like he knew what he was doing.

She had pictured that face gazing ather. Strong hands around her cheeks, not one moment of doubt or hesitation as he leaned closer, and then his lips were on hers. Sheer, utter confidence, likedon’t worry, I’ve got you, and this kiss is going to shake the earth.

Earthshaking. That’s how Indy had described her first kiss with a boy back home, a pairs skater named Brian, behind the rink. She’d been thirteen as well.

This wiry boy with his bony hands and smelly concert T-shirt, and the warm beer ... no. This wouldn’t even cause a tremor.

The decision made, she pictured her next move. Getting up and walking toward the back door. Then what? He’d probably grab her arm again, ask where she was going, and she could say she had to check on Indy, who was drunk and upset.

She took three more sips of beer, bigger ones, nearly finishing the can. Wiry did the same, leaning back against the wall of the van, closing his eyes like “Stairway to Heaven” was reaching his soul.

Back to the exit plan.

He’d let her go, maybe offer to help find Indy.

Or, and now this thought barreled in, the beer reaching her head. What if he didn’t let her go? What if he grabbed her arm again, bone on bone, and pulled her back onto the rug?

Excitement gave way to fear as the beer impaired her judgment.

“Are you okay?” Wiry asked, his eyes open and trying to look sexy. Or maybe he was stoned.

And oh my God, whatwouldhappen next in the exit strategy—if he didn’t let her go?

She would fight as hard as she could—scream, yell, pound on the sides of the van until someone heard it and rescued her. And then, the doors would open, and Jolene would be there and Kayla would be there, and Jean Jacket and Sporty too, and Wiry would be like,What the fuck? We were just talking,and she would look like a complete freaking idiot. Because—that was actually what had been happening. They’d just been drinking beer and talking.

It was the fear of not knowing. That was all this was. She should be used to it by now, having not known one single thing, the day she arrived at The Palace and Avery Hall, about the things that really mattered. Like this.

And it felt so ironic that fear was now creeping into this part of her life—her first kissof all things—that she laughed out loud, and let her head fall against the side of the van.

Wiry got them more beer, and when he placed it in her hand, his bony finger lingered on hers. “You’re pretty,” he said.

“Thanks,” she replied, feeling her cheeks blush.

She drank the beer and laughed again, this time thinking about Dawn and her dream, andfight the fear, and Dr. Fear’s lessons, and wasn’t she doing that now? With a little help from the second beer, chasing away the flight response?

Still, he hadn’t leaned in for a kiss, so after the beer, and after this song, she would implement the plan to leave and find Indy. That would be long enough to have been here with him, alone. No one would think less of her.

But “Stairway to Heaven” was a freaking long song, so she chugged beer number two, her mind already at the door, then outside, and then in the car with the Orphans, heading back to Avery Hall, where they would be dying to know what happened, and she would tell them that he smelled bad, and no way was she kissing him. Jolene would bump her shoulder and Kayla would shake her head and Indy would laugh.

Suddenly she felt his bony fingers running through her hair, spreading like a claw around the back of her head, pulling it forward, twisting it to the right, toward his thin, bony face and open mouth. Which was now on hers.

Wait!she thought. But he was too fast, and she was too stunned to say it, as he thrust his tongue into her mouth. Saliva, hot breath, strange, guttural sounds,mmmmandyeaahhhhand the beer swimming in her head, overriding the fear as his hands reached inside her shirt, his mouth moving to her neck, then his teeth, and ... wait! Was hebitingher?