Page 108 of Blade

“We couldn’t have known. She kept a lot inside,” Jolene said.

And that had to be right, because if it was wrong, it couldn’t be sorted into a file and put in a box, with the lid closed tight. Right next to the files we had about our time here. About Dawn’s abuse, which had made us vulnerable, opening the door for Emile to alter each of our lives. Denying justice for Kayla. Making a life decision for Jolene. Ending Indy’s skating career. And me, well. I’ve said enough about that already.

The files are sorted and locked away in the backs of our minds, because it’s just not possible to find peace, let alone joy, with open boxes.

Later, we peel Grace away from her show, and Kayla leads us on a walk through the woods of her property.

Where there is a frozen pond. And four pairs of skates laid out on a wooden bench.

I haven’t been on the ice for seventeen years.

Jolene and Kayla never stopped, and this still surprises me.

We sit on the bench and lace up the skates. Mine are new, but somehow the right size. The Orphans have gone to a lot of trouble.

Kayla looks at the soft flesh on my fingers and reaches out with hers. They have the familiar calloused grooves from pulling on nylon laces.

“Do you need help?” she asks with a slight laugh.

I start to say,No, I’ve got it, but instead I tell her the truth.

“I might.”

I turn off my thoughts as I slip my feet inside the stiff leather and start to pull.

“Come on,” Jolene says. “It’s like riding a bike.”

We step onto the ice and Kayla takes off, the way she always did. As if no time has passed. And I see the girl who lives inside her as she flies away, looking for a moment of escape.

Jolene takes her time, stroking beside her daughter like a mother hen with her baby chick. But soon Grace takes off, too, chasing after Kayla.

I push away from the bench and feel that first glide. On a new skate. A new blade. And then the other boot drops to the ice, digs into an edge. Left, then right. Left, then right. I gather speed.

And then my arms lift from my sides as my knees bend deeper. I reach the corner and make the turn, right over left, right over left, crossovers to the other side. Then back to the long, curved strokes that build more speed.

Kayla laps me, her ponytail flying in the air, before she cuts down the middle and takes off for an enormous double toe loop. She looks back when she lands, the pond making a loud thud as it resettles.

“Not bad for an old lady, right?”

“Not bad at all,” I call out.

“Come on! Catch up!” she says, speeding past me.

She is magnificent, this woman who was once a girl being dragged out of the woods.

And so is Jolene, her life defined by another, but not a hint of what might have been anywhere in her eyes.

“Watch this!” Grace calls out from across the pond. We gather, side by side, and watch as she launches into a huge triple flip, one arm over her head.

“She’s such a show-off!” Jolene says, though she’s smiling ear to ear.

“No,” I tell her. “She’s perfect.” And I think to myself that she truly is—even if there are still storms inside her that need to be quelled.

“Well,” Jolene says. “She’s better than we were, that’s for sure.”

To which Kayla replies, “Speak for yourself.”

Jolene gives her a shoulder bump.