Page 109 of Blade

I had such a desperate longing when I was at The Palace. Living as an Orphan at Avery Hall while my mother was slowly dying 289 miles away from me. Crawling into Indy’s bed. Into Dawn’s blue coat, and finally, into those tangled sheets at her guest cottage. I hated myself for a long time, until I found a way to be redeemed—my mission to save damaged children.

As laughter fills my chest, I look at these women who were once girls just down the hall. How they’ve filled their lives with love, and I know I have more work to do. Starting right here. With them. On the ice.

Grace passes me. “You’re too slow!” she says.

So I bend my knees, pushing into the blades, deeper and faster, right arm sweeping overhead, then a three turn and I’m backward. Crossovers around the bend, then forward again. My body moving, making shapes that feel glorious. Not caring how they look to the outside world.

Moving across the ice so fast my eyes begin to water.

Then Grace comes back to skate beside me.

“You’re crying,” she says. But I tell her no—it’s just the wind.

And she looks at me perplexed, like I should know what this is. Don’t I remember?

As she skates away, she yells back to me—

“It’s not the wind.”

And I think,No. It’s not the wind.

It’s the joy of being on a blade, finally returned.