Page 5 of Bittersweet Endings (Agostino Crime Family #6)

OCTAVIA AGOSTINO

“ W here are you going?”

Pausing with my hand on the front door, I turned to Apollo. The bright light in the foyer did little to dwindle my raging headache. “Out.”

He didn’t respond, just stared with a deadpan expression. Yet, something in his eyes told me he was itching to make accusations.

“Jesus Christ.” I sighed, slamming the door and stomping towards him. “If you’ve got something to say, fuckin’ say it.”

“I see your time in captivity enhanced your language. What else did it do for you?”

“Showed me that none of you can protect me so I need to protect myself.” I stood against him, toe-to-toe. “Now. Ask.”

“Why did he let you go?”

There it was. The accusation. Finally spoken aloud while buried beneath a simple question.

Before I could reply, the stairs creaked. And I looked past him to see Marco and Sienna watching us, with Lucky and Pops standing just beyond the threshold of the office.

No one said anything. No one had to. They all wanted the same thing. My answer.

“This is fantastic.” I laughed, running a hand down my face. “ Why did he let you go? You all want to know why he let me go. How I got back by all outward appearances unscathed. How the beastly Carmine Ragetti didn’t eat me alive. Well, maybe it’s because I’m stronger than you imagined.”

“That wasn’t what I asked,” Apollo stated.

“It was. You just don’t like the answer.” I held my own against him. “A bullet in my arm and a hole in my heart. Look at your faces. Listen to your accusations. Isn’t that revenge? He won. You don’t trust me. Hell, you’re finally realizing that maybe you never knew me.

Lucky stepped forward, his face hardened but his tone soft. “You have to give us something better than that, Tave.”

I sighed, pressing my head to the door. “I know it sounds insane to you, but it’s the truth.”

And then il diavolo appeared, menacing and calculating.

It made acid burn in my throat; the level of mistrust was stifling.

The future boss was here and my brother was gone.

“So you’re telling me the enemy just decided to hand you back out of the kindness of his heart?

” Lucky scoffed. “That family has been after us for years. Carmine uncovered the truth about his uncle, but he just let you go.”

“Not. Kindness.” My voice broke. “Because he knew! He knew I’d fallen for him. Happy? Are you all fucking happy?”

Their faces were a stark contrast of the family who used to adore me. They looked at me like I’d just said the most unforgivable thing in the world. And maybe, to them, it was .

Sometimes the truth hurt. And this truth was ripping me apart from the inside out.

“Fucking hell, Octavia.” It wasn’t pity I saw staring back at me in my brother’s eyes. It was disgust. “Please tell me that’s not true.”

“Like I meant for it to fucking happen, Lucky!” My voice cracked.

“I fought it. God, I fought him . You think I wanted this? To feel anything but hatred for the bastard who took me, pretended to care and then threw me away?” My breath hitched, but I kept going because if I stopped now, I wouldn't start again. I needed to get this out. “After years of hiding, suddenly someone slaughtered the monster under your bed. It was mercy. His protection and the things he said... You start to forget what’s real. And I forgot. I forgot who I was. Who he was. Until it was too late.”

I swallowed hard. It didn’t matter. Nothing I said mattered. Because my family didn’t believe me and the man I loved only wanted me because of my last name. The same name I didn’t ask for.

“He might’ve let me go physically, but emotionally I am dying on the inside. He thought he could keep pulling my strings. He tried to use me to get to you. And when I said no, he threatened my nephew.”

Sienna started crying, but I couldn’t look at her.

“I protected him. Sadly, I can’t say any of you would have given me that same courtesy.”

“How many more are here?” Apollo asked.

I laughed. “I ran them out. They’re gone. But go ahead. Keep looking at me like I’m the traitor. But know this: I chose you . All of you. Over Carmine. Over Peiro. Over Rick.”

“So,” Lucky snapped, “you expect us to believe that you gave him nothing ? ”

My chest burned. My hands were shaking. “I can see it in your faces. You’ve already decided.”

“Carmine is the enemy, Tave,” he said softly, like it would hurt less. “What the hell are we supposed to do with that?”

I couldn’t hold them in anymore. The tears I’d fought so hard to bury broke free. “I don’t fucking know. But this happened because of you.” I looked around the room. “Because of all of your actions. Not me. Not mine.”

“Fuck,” Lucky growled, while my father looked white as a ghost. Maybe it wasn’t fair. But life had never been fair to me.

I staggered back a step, my spine hitting the door like it could hold me up. “I think it’ll be better if I leave.” My voice was as hollow as my heart.

“You’re not going anywhere.” It was an order, not a request from my brother. “As much as you’ll hate me for it, I am going to kill him, Octavia. He fucked with your head and once he’s dead, maybe then you’ll be reasonable.”

“Funny how suddenly you’re my knight in shining armor, Lucky. Where were you when I was raped by one of your men? ” It was a low blow, but I didn’t care.

“If you’d opened your mouth, I would’ve made him suffer.” Lucky clenched his teeth. “Peiro will get his.”

“When?” I balked. “Time keeps passing. Do you even know where he is?”

The silence was deafening.

“I won’t let him or Carmine get to you again. I will… I will protect you, Octavia. But you’ve got to meet me halfway.”

My father stepped into the hall, his way of ordering my brother to back down, and sighed before motioning for us to follow him into his office. Apollo and Lucky waited for me to go first, their expressions telling me everything without having to say a word .

They weren’t going to let me leave this house.

“The day before Carmine arranged your return, he called me,” my father said, and we stared at him. Confused. “He found out JP planned to take you from him. And he gave you back because he knew he couldn’t protect you and fight the war that was coming.”

I knew it!

“It’s interesting that you all have so much to say about Carmine and what he did.

But no one wants to talk about the one who started this.

” I paused, glancing at each of them. “Carmine let me kill one of my demons. If he would’ve gotten a hold of him, he would’ve given me Peiro too.

And still your hatred is pointed at the wrong man. ”

“We’re looking for him,” Lucky muttered.

I laughed once, bitter and hollow. “Yeah? And where’s that search leading? Convenient dead ends?”

“We’re. Looking,” Lucky repeated.

I tilted my head. “Could Bella’s mom be hiding him?”

My brother’s neck snapped towards me, his eyes wide, like I’d just spit in his face. My father flinched. It was subtle, but I saw it. I felt it too, like a knife twisting in my ribs.

That was all the answer I needed. They were protecting her. Even after her bastard son had scarred my skin and my soul. Goddamn priceless.

Serafina had been around my family for years. She had a secret son no one knew about. And the bastard had raped me. My blood was boiling, my mind slowly losing control. My father had loved her in the past. And my brother loved his wife.

Where was the love for their broken sister? The damaged daughter?

My father’s glare could’ve split stone. “Right now, we have no confirmed sightings on the east coast. His known affiliates have all cut ties. But we don’t know how far their reach went.”

I stared at him, cold and steady. “Did anyone. Question . His mother ?”

“She doesn’t know anything,” Lucky replied. Too fast. Way too fast.

My eyes narrowed. “Right.”

“Serafina gave him up for adoption in Italy,” my father added, as if that excused everything . “They’ve never met.”

“She’s to be kept out of this,” my brother continued, stepping towards the window like turning his back would end the conversation.

I stared at him. At all of them.

“Kept out of this,” I echoed. “She. She’s to be. Kept. Out.” Something inside me cracked, and I didn’t even try to stop it. “I feel bad for you, you know.”

Lucky turned around slowly. His eyes telling me he already knew he wasn’t going to like what came next. And he wouldn’t because how-fucking-dare-he.

“Poor Lucky,” I spat. “Your mother-in-law gave birth to a monster. A piece-of-shit rapist. Half-brother to your precious wife. And you want her protected ?” My lip curled.

“Maybe your men should show her the same kindness her son showed me. See how fast she starts remembering where he might be hiding.”

The wordlessness that followed wasn’t silence. It was a bomb ticking away. And I wouldn’t flinch when it detonated. A gasp sounded from the doorway, and I closed my eyes. I didn’t need to look to know who it was.

Bella didn’t deserve to overhear that, but I was in too dark of a place to apologize. She’d be okay, because she had the protection of my brother. He wouldn’t let her down like he’d let me down .

“Goddamn it, Octavia.” Lucky flew out of the room, calling after his wife.

A dark place? Who was I kidding? That barely described my life. My time with Carmine opened my eyes to the person I’d buried under babydoll dresses and fake smiles. Pleasing everyone but myself. When he let me go, the dam holding back the real me broke.

And I wouldn’t apologize for it.

For far too long, I’d been paying my family’s debts with my mind, my heart, and my body. While Bella didn’t deserve my cruelty, she also needed to realize that I was the collateral damage in all of this. Not her. She’d been protected. The same couldn’t be said about me.

My phone started ringing, flashing my realtor’s name. “Hi, sorry. I’m going to be late. I’m on my way.” I rose from the chair before tossing over a shoulder, “I’m leaving now.”

“Octavia. I love you. But you’re taking a soldato with you.” My father pulled me in for a tight hug that threatened to break down my walls. I couldn’t let it.

“Like hell I will. I can’t trust any of your?—”

Rocco stepped forward, cutting me off. His dead eyes took in the room. Since he’d gotten hurt protecting Sienna, something dark settled inside him. Something I respected. “You don’t trust me?”

I glowered at him. He knew I did. “Fine. I have an appointment with my realtor. Let’s go.” I walked off towards the front of the house before anyone could stop me.

“Yo!” Marco yelled out as I opened the door. “Bitch looks good on you, sis.”

And with a parting smirk, I stood taller as I left the family compound. Because it felt good on me too.