Page 39 of Bittersweet Endings (Agostino Crime Family #6)

OCTAVIA AGOSTINO

C armine left without a word.

I couldn’t bring myself to move, not at first. The silence that followed felt suffocating, and I was drowning in my pain.

My fingers clutched the edge of the counter, the pregnancy test still in my hand after he’d dropped it.

As if it could somehow tug me back from the downward spiral my misery was pulling me into.

I didn’t know what I’d expected when he saw that test. That tiny sliver of hope had flickered inside me. It wasn’t about the baby, not exactly. It was about the possibility that we could survive our families and create our own. It was about Carmine confessing that he loved me.

Instead, it went to hell really fast.

He’d shut down, like a door slamming in my face. The look he gave me—that cold, hard look—was something I wouldn’t forget. It was different from the look he’d given me when he’d returned me to my family.

There was no fire, no desire, no emotion. And it was like a goddamn stab through the heart. I meant what I said. With or without him, I’d be fine. It just hurt like a bitch to realize he’d turned his back on me. On this baby. And on us for the last time.

***

My phone kept ringing. Matteo. Lucky. Pops. Sienna. Even Marco and Lorenzo. But never Carmine. I couldn’t talk to my family about us. If they knew about the baby and Carmine’s dismissal, the tentative peace would end.

I let the phone ring until it went silent.

And then there was nothing. Just the emptiness of the apartment, of my own thoughts, swirling around me.

My chest ached, a constant dull pain that didn’t fade.

In fact, I didn’t want it to. It had been days since he’d left. I wanted—needed—to feel something.

I should’ve known better than to believe I could have a shred of happiness. Should’ve known better than to think that maybe I could have something more for myself.

I could feel it creeping in. The doubt. The familiar loneliness that had spent years eating away at me. And all I could do was sit at home, wishing for something that had never been real.

The sadness eventually turned to anger. At him. At myself. At this poor baby, who wouldn’t understand that they’d been born into a world few survived. Even though I’d be damned if I let anyone hurt what was mine.

The rage inside me was a fire that burned too hot to ignore.

I could feel it bubbling, about to explode.

My hands shook as I tried holding on to the book I was clutching.

I couldn’t focus on the words, lost to the insanity in my head.

I screamed as I threw it across the room, watching it slam against the wall.

He wanted to run? Fine. Let him. But I wasn’t going to sit around waiting for him. I needed to do something. Anything.

I stormed into the bathroom, throwing my clothes off and stepping into the shower. The hot water burned my skin. I wanted it to erase the memory of him. To ease the tension in my muscles and the pounding in my head.

Afterwards, I changed into something simple but sexy. I was taking back my control. No more games. No more waiting.

I grabbed my phone and ordered Rocco to pull the car around and to find me a private jet to California. I wasn’t going to let this go. Not now. Not after everything we’d been through. I had no idea what I expected from him, but something told me I needed to do this.

I walked out of the apartment and into the hallway, my heart racing with each step I took towards the car waiting downstairs. But just as I was about to stroll through the building’s front door, I froze.

Because there he was. Carmine. Standing in front of the car.

His posture was different. Tension replacing the usual confidence.

His jeans were gone, while the fitted suit screamed power.

The fine Italian threads were made for a Capo.

His dark hair was slicked back, and the sharp lines of his face made it clear he wasn’t here to apologize.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” he demanded.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “You left. Which means you have no right to ask that, Carmine,” I snapped.

His lips twisted into a smirk, that familiar glint of amusement flashing in his dark eyes. As he took a step closer to me, I had to fight the urge to step back. “You know, for such a dainty little doll, you sure have a temper,” he teased, like he found my anger almost... endearing.

I didn’t take the bait. My hands were clenched into fists. The anger hadn’t subsided. If anything, it had intensified. “Fuck off, Carmine,” I scoffed.

He raised an eyebrow at me. “That’s no way to talk to your Capo. ”

I stood taller, meeting his gaze head-on. “You’re not my Capo. Now, go back to your side of the country. You don’t get to tell me what to do anymore.”

His expression didn’t change, but the air around us did. He took another step forward, closing the distance between us. “I can’t,” he said, his words cutting through the silence. “Not without you.”

For a moment, I could’ve sworn I saw something raw flicker in his eyes. Something desperate and unspoken, something so unlike him. But then it was gone.

I swallowed hard, refusing to back down. “You don't get to do this,” I said, my voice quieter now but no less certain. “You can’t just come back and expect things to go your way.”

“You’re wrong,” he murmured. “They’ve never gone my way.

Not in my entire life. I’ve never felt like I had anything that was completely mine.

I was always protecting everyone else from JP.

Told I deserved fuck-all in life. And now, I’m done.

Because you’re mine, Octavia. And I’m not leaving without you.

Without both of you.” His palm rested flat against my belly, and I jumped.

I wanted to push him away, but the words lodged themselves deep in my chest, twisting my insides. I hated that I wanted to believe him. “What happens when you decide to throw us away again?” I whispered.

“ You’ll be fine .” He smirked like it was fuckin’ hilarious to use my own words against me.

The weight of the emotions hit me like a tidal wave. Crashing over me with such force I couldn’t do anything but let them. Maybe it was the rage that had been building up inside me. Or maybe it was the hormones, but the tightrope I’d dangled on broke.

Carmine reached for me, and in that instant, I screamed, the sound coming from deep within my chest. My hand dove into the bag at my side. My fingers closed around the gun, and before anyone could react, it was pointed at Carmine.

Rocco froze, his eyes wide and his hand on his weapon, while Carmine took a step back. His palms raised in surrender. “Octavia, what the fuck are you doing?”

I didn’t care. I couldn’t care. I wasn’t shaking because I was afraid. I was shaking because I was frustrated.

“This isn’t a game, Carmine!” I shouted until my voice was raw. “My heart isn’t a fucking chess piece. You can’t control me like one of your toys! My love and our baby aren’t pawns to tip over on the board! We aren’t something you can own!”

My breath hitched as his gaze darkened. I could see the realization in his eyes. He finally saw I wasn’t going to tolerate his antics. He tilted his head, the devilish smirk I knew so well creeping back into his expression. But it twisted in a way that sent a chill down my spine.

“I do know ownership well, baby,” he said, his voice like velvet but sharp enough to slice through me. “And I own every part of you. Every fucking part .”

I took a step back, the gun still pointed at him, my chest heaving with the emotions I couldn’t seem to control.

“But,” he added, almost tenderly, “I do love you, Octavia. And I’m making this right. We’re starting a family... together. In California. Now put the gun away before you get us both killed or locked up.”

The way he said it made me falter. The certainty in his voice, the quiet command that somehow seeped into my bones. Everything I wanted was right in front of me, but that drove me into a panic.

I breathed out slowly, my finger still twitching on the trigger. I didn’t pull it. Not yet. “Why do you do this to me, Carmine?” I whispered. “Why do you make me feel like this? Like I’m nothing without you?”

He didn’t answer right away. Instead, his gaze softened. “Because you’re everything, Octavia,” he said. “You’re everything. You’re my everything, and I won’t do this without you.”

And like a dumb bitch, I believed him. I looked at Rocco and he saw it too. He nodded before walking back inside with his phone to his ear.

Carmine tugged me forward, kissing me soft and quick. “Now, I meant what I said. Let’s go before the cops show up and your brother has me locked away.” He grinned, guiding me towards a car idling down the block.

Lorenzo leaned casually against the hood, a smirk playing on his lips as we approached. His eyes flicked over me, taking in every detail. The second he saw the slight shift in my stance—my hand protecting my belly—his grin deepened.

“Well, well,” he drawled out. “Look at you, knocked up and all. Never thought I’d see the day, but here we are.” His eyes bounced to Carmine, then back to me. “Guess that’s one way to tie someone down, huh?”

I didn’t reply, just shot him a look that said more than enough. His grin faltered, only for a moment, before he pushed off the car and straightened.

“That better not be contagious,” he grunted. “I don’t want her near any women I’m fucking. Got it?”

I stared back at him. “Not everything’s about your dick, Lorenzo.”

He raised an eyebrow, clearly unbothered by my words. “It better not be,” he said.

Carmine’s hand came down hard on Lorenzo’s head with a loud thwack that left the latter blinking. Surprised but clearly unfazed .

“Shut the fuck up,” Carmine muttered before he stepped towards me, offering a hand. I took it without hesitation.

Carmine helped me into the back while Lorenzo climbed into the driver’s seat and revved the engine. As we pulled away from the curb, I could feel my stomach twist. I should have called my parents. Told them about the baby and California, Carmine and me.

Carmine must’ve seen the worry flash across my face, because his hand found mine. Giving it a soft squeeze, he brought it to his lips and kissed my knuckles. “Don’t worry so much,” he said. “I’ve already handled it. I’ll make sure your family knows what’s going on.”

I couldn’t help the small sigh that escaped my lips as I sat back. The city blurring around us.

This was really happening. Everything was changing.

When we finally pulled up to the private jet, the sight of my entire family standing there waiting for me made my heart thump harder in my chest. My father, my brother, even some of the extended family. Everyone.

They were waiting. No questions, no judgment, just... support. I felt the weight of their eyes on me as I stepped out of the car, Carmine right beside me. It was like they were saying goodbye to their daughter, their sister, but they weren’t angry. They weren’t disappointed. They understood.

Carmine stepped forward, nodding at my father, who gave him a respectful, almost-wary look.

But my dad didn't say anything, just gave me a quick, tight hug, telling me how much he loved me and whispering that he was just a call away. I felt my brother’s eyes on me too, his hand resting on my shoulder for a brief moment.

“Take care of her,” my father said, his voice gruff. “And if you hurt her, you’ll answer to me.” He extended a hand, and Carmine took it.

He didn’t flinch as my father squeezed, just gave a nod. “I’ll keep her safe.”

My mom, sister, and brother surrounded me. Each offering a weepy goodbye. Except for Marco, who made me promise to call him after I popped out the kid and I was ready to go clubbing. Even Bella offered her congratulations.

The tears wouldn’t stop, but not a single part of me feared my decision. This was for me . Not them. They had their own lives. Now, it was time I built one for myself.

I turned to face the jet. My future. My heart pounded, the weight of what was to come sinking in.

“Let’s go,” Carmine said, his hand resting lightly on my back as he guided me towards the steps of the plane.

I climbed up first, turning once to look back at my family—at everything I was leaving behind—one last time.

This was it. There was no going back.

“You’ll see them again, baby. Whenever you want.” Carmine kissed my temple. “Lucky and his lapdog aren’t invited to Cali, though.”

I couldn’t help the sad chuckle that slipped free. This man loved me, but not enough to drop his guard around my brother and Apollo. Made sense.

As the door closed behind us and the engines roared to life, I felt the last remnants of my old life slip away. Carmine’s presence beside me was all-encompassing, but it was also the only thing that felt certain. It was only us now.

And maybe that was enough.