Page 9 of Between These Broken Hearts (Cursed Stars #2)

I lean against the infirmary door and choke back a sob.

Kendrick won’t remember any of that, and I should be glad. I should call my goblin and go back to the cottage where I’ve been

sleeping and see if I can stay another day to sleep off this weakness.

And then what? How am I going to find the sword now if only Mordeus knows its location? And if I can’t find him and end him,

what was the point of any of this? If he lives and I die, then the only thing my sacrifice brought me was the very thing I

would’ve laid down my life to avoid.

I wish I could talk to Abriella. She would know what to do.

The ache is so sudden and so strong, I nearly fall to the ground.

I had three years with her at the Midnight Palace where I avoided her at every turn. I did everything I could to avoid looking

at her or talking with her or even being near her.

Now the risen sun means I have ten days left and I want time with my sister more than anything.

“Jasalyn?”

I jerk my head up and see Natan walking toward me, his hair tied back, his glasses glinting in the morning light.

For a moment, I forget about the ring, forget that he’ll be under my spell, and a combination of panic and gratitude fills my heart.

Panic because I shouldn’t be here. Gratitude because I’d missed him without realizing it.

Natan, Remme, even Skylar—they all became my friends during my time with Kendrick.

“You look upset,” he says. “How can I help?”

I shake my head and rush down the infirmary steps before he can open the door. I don’t want Kendrick to see me. “I was just

leaving.”

He frowns. “We’ve been looking for you. Are you safe? Have you seen Kendrick?”

Usually people are so enamored with the Enchanting Lady that they forget anything that’s been on their mind. It doesn’t mean

Natan’s not under my spell, but he’s definitely resisting it. His conscious mind is pushing to the forefront despite the ring’s

lure. “I saw him,” I admit.

He beams. “And you’re staying?”

“No. Natan, I...” I scan the quiet roads around the Ironmoore square. “Are you staying here?”

He shakes his head. “No. Our team left the village not long after you disappeared.”

Last time I was here, the place was half charred from the wyvern attack. Now the destroyed buildings have been torn down but

few have been erected in their place. This is why Kendrick and his friends wanted my help. Their oracle showed Kendrick an

image of me slaying the wicked Patriarch of the Seven that rule Elora. It gave them hope for the future of a realm that has

had little for a very long time.

They will have to find another way.

“I’m only here because I sensed Kendrick was,” he says. His forehead wrinkles with thought and his glance skips back to the

building behind me. “You brought him to the infirmary. Is he okay?”

I swallow. “He will be.”

“And you?” When he asks this, I realize he’s avoiding my gaze. It doesn’t eliminate the Enchanting Lady’s power completely,

but it lessens the effect. Knowing Natan, he’s probably learned everything there is to know about enchanted rings in the last

eight months and he’s using that knowledge to his advantage.

“I’m fine.” That might’ve been believable if I didn’t choke on the word. With a final glance toward the infirmary, I start

walking. I don’t want to repeat my reunion with Kendrick if he comes out those doors again.

Natan follows—whether because he wants to talk to me more or because he’s compelled by the ring, I’m not sure, but I don’t

question it. I might as well use his company to my advantage.

“Kendrick told me that no one but Mordeus knows where the sword is, but I need to find it or find another way to get to him.”

“You’re running out of time.” It’s not warning or censure. It’s said in a tone of understanding, something close to sympathy

that makes tears prick my eyes. “But even if you only have days left, I don’t want you risking your life to go after Mordeus.

None of us want that.”

“So I’m supposed to just... what? Enjoy my last ten days of life without worrying about the consequences of what I’ve done? You just want me to let it all go?”

His throat bobs. “I don’t want that either. Mordeus will be too powerful once he takes over your body.”

The world spins a little and I have to dig my nails into my palms to steady myself. “Say that again.”

“Mordeus will be too powerful once he takes over your body,” he says, the need to blindly obey the Enchanting Lady making

him take me literally.

“But I’m dead in ten days. What would he want with a dead body?”

“Not a dead body.” He shakes his head, and I can tell he’s trying to resist the need to give me what I want.

“What do you mean takes over my body ?” I ask.

“It’s your gift,” he says, as if that makes any sense. “Your body will go on as long as there’s a consciousness attached.

And he needs your body because his cannot sustain life. He’s in limbo right now—his consciousness resurrected without a body

that can hold him.”

“You’re telling me that Mordeus will be in me? My body, his mind?” Everything in me rejects this notion. And yet I know what it’s like to have his mind inside

me. I’ve known for a while now. I’m going to be sick. “Why didn’t Kendrick tell me this?”

“He didn’t want you to know,” he says, pointedly staring at the ground. There’s more that he’s not telling me. More that he

doesn’t want me to know.

“Natan, look at me,” I say. He grimaces but obeys. “Why didn’t Kendrick want me to know about Mordeus taking over my body

when my time runs out?”

His eyes glaze with the power of my enchantment and I know I’ll get the truth. “He didn’t want you to hurt yourself to prevent it. He still believes there’s a way to reverse all of this.”

“And you’ve been researching for him, right?”

“Of course. Looking for where they’ve hidden Felicity and how to help you. Every day.”

“In all that research, have you found a way to cut off the connection between me and Mordeus?”

“There isn’t much out there on blood magic. The Elorans banned it years ago and the Seven either destroyed or confiscated

every book written about it. We know from history that blood magic is used to connect the magic or life force of two individuals,

and that the scars appear when the magic is called upon.”

I nod. He told me all this the day I left them, not that it makes it any easier to wrap my head around.

“And since Mordeus performed countless blood magic rituals, he connected your life forces over and over again so he could

call on that connection again and again.”

“Have you learned anything new since I saw you?”

“I’ve been researching instead about interconnected souls—what happens when the consciousness of two individuals are bound

together as he seems to have bound yours. It is that interconnection that allows him to take over your body for periods of

time and it’s also what will allow him to stay there once you cease to be.”

“Because of the ring. We’re connected because of the ring.” I look down at my finger. We all should’ve listened to Skylar

when she suggested cutting off my finger to get it off me.

“No,” he says. “The ring strengthens the bond between you, but it’s the blood magic that keeps you connected. And the two together make it a complicated knot I have yet to learn how to untangle.”

I can see why Kendrick might think I’d hurt myself to avoid this. I lived through those days of wanting to disappear, wanting

to cease to be. How ironic that only now that I finally want more do I need to release this life for the good of everyone around me.

“So it’s hopeless? All I can do is wait and pray to the cursed gods that one of you will plunge an iron blade into this chest

the moment he takes over?”

The devastation in his eyes isn’t about the ring or the enchantment he’s under while speaking to me. It’s not even about the

destruction Mordeus will bring on this realm when he has the power of my body. Natan cares about me. They all do. And I lost

eight months that I could’ve been working with them to find a solution. Lost it because I couldn’t trust anyone. Lost it because,

despite this ring that won’t come off my finger, my fear was controlling me.

“We’ve missed you,” Natan says, as if he can read my thoughts. “And I won’t stop looking for a way to reverse the connection

the blood magic created or for a way to get you back the life you traded for that ring.”

But it’s the blood magic that connected us—the blood magic that will mean more loss than just my life. “Natan.” My head snaps up and I stare at him. “If Mordeus can tap into me—if my consciousness is connected to his—wouldn’t

the opposite be true? Couldn’t I tap into his consciousness and find out where the Sword of Fire is?”

“If he can access your consciousness, then yes. You should be able to access his as well.”

Bile surges in my throat at the thought, but if it’s the only way... “How?”

Natan lifts his chin, his eyes going wide. “Dreams, maybe?”

I shake my head. “I can’t control those. Or I haven’t been able to before, but...” But if I could meditate myself into

a conscious dreaming state, I might be able to. My sister’s desperation to save me from my own darkness meant tutor after

tutor who taught me techniques to manage my anxiety and control my own mind, including a dozen different kinds of meditation

I used only when forced to.

I hated it all, even when I knew I needed it. It felt like they were all trying to fix me, and I resented them knowing I was broken.

You’re not fine, but you’re not broken either. Fear isn’t a measure of cowardice, and pain isn’t a measure of weakness. You are brave

and strong and anything but broken.

I shove the memory of Kendrick’s words aside and focus on my plan.

“If I can meditate until I’m conscious dreaming,” I tell Natan, thinking out loud, “I can get in his head and find out where

the sword is.”

“I can help you.” He beams and rubs his hands together. “Remember how I took you deep into yourself to find your powers? It

would be like that—me guiding you down into the proper state of consciousness. That way you’d always have one hand on your

own mind.”

I want to accept. Not only do I want the help, I crave the company.

I only have ten days left but when I think of facing each one alone I’m suffocated by loneliness.

But it feels too risky to involve my friends in any of this.

My decisions allowed Mordeus to cause so much harm already, so my priority has to be getting rid of him before he can do more to hurt my sister’s court.

Kendrick and his friends are so focused on getting rid of Erith and I don’t know if I can do what I need to if my attention is divided.

Besides, I can’t risk any more people getting hurt trying to protect me.

“Thanks, Natan. Why don’t you get everything ready back at the old house, and I’ll meet you there?”

I can see the resistance in his eyes—part of him knows he shouldn’t walk away from me, but he can’t resist the Enchanting

Lady, so he nods obediently and heads to the house.