Page 44 of Between These Broken Hearts (Cursed Stars #2)

Konner gave me riding pants and a tunic to change into since Sol’s dress wasn’t exactly giving me the room I needed to move

freely, then we agreed to meet at Castle Craige at first light to convene with Sol. Konner said he had his own way of getting

there, though he refused to divulge what it was, and Misha and I decided that using the Hall of Doors was still the fastest

and safest way for us to return to Faerie. Much like the first time, I was ready to get out of the Hall the moment we stepped

into it.

“Why are we heading back to the palace instead of going straight to Castle Craige?” I ask on our way back to the Midnight

Palace. It’s past sunset, and I can imagine how irritated Sol is to still be waiting for Misha.

As soon as we stepped back through the portal and into the mountain ridge by the River of Ice, Misha let out a low whistle

that brought a wild horse trotting up to us. He nuzzled Misha’s hand and patiently allowed us to climb onto his back. Misha

explained it was one of his gifts, but when I asked why those gifts didn’t include the ability to call a horse for each of

us, all I got was a wink and an extra squeeze from the arm he had looped around my waist.

“I have a standing portal between the Midnight Palace and Castle Craige that we need to use to get back.”

I crane my neck to look up at him. “You too, huh?”

“What?”

“My brother doesn’t trust goblins, but I didn’t realize you felt the same.”

His jaw ticks. “My goblin isn’t responding to my summons at the moment.”

I shift my weight to one hip to get a better view of his face. “Why not? Do you want me to call mine?”

“Do you want to call yours?” he asks, brushing his thumb across my ribs. “Because there was nearly an hour in that palace where I was pretty

sure I lost you, and I’m enjoying the reassurance of having you in my arms.”

My whole body goes taut, then loose all over. “I was never truly in danger. Not from anyone but Shae, at least.”

“He’s the one who betrayed your friends, isn’t he? The one they believe called the wyvern’s attack?”

I give a jerky nod.

“How long have you known him?”

“Since I was a kid. He was one of Hale’s friends, but I...” I shake my head. “I fancied myself in love with him, but I

realize now that I was in love with the idea of him. He was always a little edgy, a little dangerous, and because his parents

were killed when he was young and he was brought up by a cousin of his mother’s, I thought he might understand me in a way

the others couldn’t.”

“Did you feel misunderstood a lot?”

“Not exactly. Just a little out of place. I always felt like the Kendricks were doing me this big favor by taking me in.”

“Did they make you feel like that?”

“Never them. Neighbors said some things. And then when Erith found out about me and one of his sentinels killed my father—my

adoptive father...” I draw in a steadying breath. “They didn’t have to say anything then. I knew what I’d cost them.”

“Did you and Shae ever...”

I cough out a laugh. “Are you kidding me? I was this wide-eyed little girl waiting for him to notice me, and he never did.

At least not until I was in Jasalyn’s body.” I flick my gaze up to him and then away. “I won’t pretend I didn’t like the attention

it brought me—being beautiful like her—but there’s a cost to attention you get for false reasons. I knew that before you,

but what happened between us was a much-needed reminder that the life I live in someone else’s skin is never truly my own.

Even if part of me longs for it to be.”

“Odd to hear you say it that way. I don’t think Jasalyn’s life is anything to be envious of.”

I feel a flood of sympathy for the girl I’ve gotten to understand through her dreams. “It’s not. Life has been cruel to her

in many ways. What I really mean is that it was easy to wish I could look like her all the time. I haven’t had more than a

couple of days in my own skin since I was sixteen—not while I was conscious, at least—and that means I never had the chance

to come to terms with my body.”

“I don’t understand that,” he says. “You’ve said it before—that you’d like to look like Jas.” His voice dips a little lower,

a little softer. “Why would you want to change anything about yourself?”

I open my mouth, then snap it shut again. I wish I could see his face. I’m almost positive that’s a trick question. “You can’t deny you looked at me differently when I was in her form.”

“You only say that because you don’t know how I would’ve looked at you as you are.”

Why are you saying these things? Why are you making me wish for things I can’t have? “I suppose we’ll never know.”

“My point is, you shouldn’t want to be anyone but yourself. Not even for a minute.” He tucks his face into my neck and breathes

deeply, making me shiver with want.

We ride the rest of the way in a silence loaded with so much tension that by the time Misha urges the horse to stop at the

palace gates I feel like I might explode from being so close to him and wanting so much more than his arm around my waist

and his thighs bracketing mine.

Misha dismounts, and when he reaches up to help me down I hesitate, fully expecting to feel awkward about my body under his

hands, but then his hands are on my hips and they don’t make me feel too big or too wide. They curl around me and make me

feel like I’m exactly what I need to be.

When he guides me down, I keep my eyes on him, and I could swear the thrum of his pulse in his neck quickens.

“Thank you, Loki,” he murmurs to the horse, giving it a quick pat on the hindquarters before it races back to the woods.

“Loki?” I ask. “How do you know his name?”

His eyes crinkle in the corners. “Because he told me.” He leads me through the gates, exchanging brief greetings with the sentinels on guard before pulling me around to a stone fountain in the garden. “Ready?” he asks, nodding to the pooling water.

“That’s the portal?”

“The energy from the flowing water helps keep it charged so I only need to use my magic to open and close it upon use. It’s

significantly less cumbersome than creating a new portal each time.”

I’m not keen on the idea of getting soaked and wonder how he’d feel about me circling back to the suggestion that we call

on my goblin.

He chuckles when he sees my hesitation. “I promise none of the water will touch you. You’ll be as dry when you arrive as you

are now.”

“If you say so.”

He takes my hand, as if it’s the most natural thing in the world, and we step over the ledge of the fountain together. He’s

right. I don’t feel the water, but it doesn’t feel like any other portal I’ve used before either. While most portals feel

like taking a step from one spot right into another, this one yanks us back mid-step and we tumble, falling onto the cold,

rocky ground in a space that is definitely not part of his castle.

Misha jumps to his feet, jaw tense as he surveys the craggy cliffside.

“Where are we?”

“Not at Castle Craige.” He tugs a hand through his hair and mutters a curse.

“I noticed.” I stand and brush the dust from my pants. He looks more angry than surprised. “What’s happening, Misha?”

He swallows hard and his jaw ticks. “My magic is... it’s not cooperating.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Some of my magic isn’t mine alone. It comes from my court. It’s the magic the land grants to the king and queen so that they

may protect their people.” He scoops a handful of rock from the ground and waves it beneath his nose before dropping it back

to the ground. “For several months now, I’ve been having some trouble harnessing that magic consistently.”

He looks around and sighs. “And now we’re stuck here for the night because goblins won’t travel to this part of my court.

I won’t have the strength to get us back to the castle until I get some sleep.”

“Do you know where we are?”

“Yes. That, at least, I am useful for.” He crooks a finger at me, then nods to the boulder just in front of him. “I’ll show

you.”

When we climb atop it, I can see a panorama of the sun setting over the distant mountains. Misha steps up behind me and loops

an arm beneath my chest. “See that mountain ridge down there that looks almost blue?”

I close my eyes for a beat, loving the warmth of his back pressed against me. Misha’s close. And not just close to whatever

form I happen to be in. He’s close to me . “Yes,” I murmur, forcing myself to focus.

“In the morning, fog rises off them, and it looks like smoke. They’re called the Blue Smoke Mountains. Judging by how distant

they look from here, I’d say we’re in the far west of my territory.” He drops his arm from around my waist and I immediately

miss it.

When he steps away, I turn to him. “Sol will be wondering where you are, but at least the sun hasn’t set yet. How long will it take us to get back to the castle if you called a wild horse in?”

He shakes his head. “Too long, even if it weren’t this close to dusk. We’re better off staying here for the night.” He scans

my face, as if trying to gauge my reaction to this. “My greater magic may be lessening, but I promise I’m still strong enough

to keep you safe in my own mountains.”

I’m still stuck on spending the night with Misha after the things he said to me on our ride to the Midnight Palace, but I

say, “I never doubted it.”

His gaze softens, and his eyes flit over me again and again.

“What?” I ask.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything as beautiful as you in this moment.” His tongue touches his lip. “You’re stunning in

the light of the setting sun.”

I’m still searching for a way to reply to this when he turns, jumps down from the boulder, and starts collecting what I can

only assume are supplies for a fire. I watch him work for a minute, then gather with him, earning a wink and a smile. He waves

me over toward a soaring pine and I make piles of kindling, sticks, and small logs while he trims low branches on the pine

tree, carving out a little shelter.

“It’ll keep the wind off us,” he says before turning to build the fire.