Page 6 of Between These Broken Hearts (Cursed Stars #2)

He’s going to live. He’s going to be fine.

My hand shakes as I slowly and painstakingly stitch Kendrick’s side, keeping one eye on the needle and one on the steady rise

and fall of Kendrick’s chest.

The Feegus Keep healer was confused when she was summoned to my side—not the dungeons, it turned out, but another godsforsaken

section of the keep where they trap the death dogs they use for security—but she did finally arrive, and not a moment too soon.

Like the others, she was happy to do my bidding once in my presence and administered an antitoxin as well as a potion to help

Kendrick heal. Once his breaths grew deeper and the color returned to his face, I plucked a thread on my goblin bracelet again.

Only then did Gommid arrive, happily accepting a handful of a sentinel’s hair as payment in exchange for whisking us away

to the Ironmoore infirmary.

My plan had been to take him to the Midnight Palace, but I decided it was too dangerous—for him, for me, for my sister.

I thought if I brought him here, to Ironmoore, at least he’d be around his people and I could leave him in their capable hands.

But the moment I looked into the glazed eyes of the village healer, I knew I couldn’t walk away.

I couldn’t take a chance that they might forget to watch him for reactions to the antitoxin once the memory of me faded.

I commanded the healer to place a sentinel outside the infirmary doors and not allow anyone through. Then, once she’d done

all she could to clean his wounds and relieve his pain, I sent her away and began the tedious process of stitching him up.

I’ve probably spent thousands of hours with a needle in my hand stitching fabrics of all kinds, but nothing could have prepared

me for stitching up such a ragged wound. What it’s like to work around the blood. The feel of the needle piercing flesh again

and again.

“Jas?”

I flinch and pause before making my next stitch. Kendrick’s fighting sleep, his ice-blue eyes doing everything they can to

focus on me. “Shh,” I murmur. “You’re okay. Just rest.”

“You aren’t real. We search and search, and it’s never you.” His eyes float closed, the healing tonic pulling him under again.

“Do you have any idea what I’d give up to find you?”

My heart twists painfully. You betrayed me.

But then somehow he was there when I needed him. He risked his own life to save me. And so here I am, making sure he lives

through the night even without knowing if he’ll hand me over to Mordeus if given the chance.

I release the needle and thread and shake away the trembling in my hands.

“I don’t know where she is,” he says, the words so quiet I’m almost not sure I heard him right. He’s fighting sleep but can’t seem to pull from its grasp. “Help me find her. Help me save her. I have to find her before Mordeus takes over and we lose her forever.”

The words are a blade twisting in my chest. I can’t reconcile any of this with the male who lied to me. I can’t let myself

forget that he worked with Mordeus. And I can’t let myself forget Mordeus’s memory of Shae and the agreement he made with

Mordeus.

When the time is right, we’ll bring her to you.

A dozen times tonight, I’ve reminded myself of his friend’s promise to Mordeus, of Kendrick’s lies—about why he was in the

cell across from me three years ago and about who and what he is.

I don’t want to believe he’s working for Mordeus, that he had any part in that deal his friend made, and I never would’ve

doubted before his lies were revealed, but now I don’t know.

His eyes fly open and he gasps, sitting halfway up. “Jas... Is that really you?”

I press a palm to his chest, urging him back down before he tears open his partially stitched wound. “You need to be still.”

He settles back, lids fluttering as he trains his gaze on me. I turn to the counter and pour him another shot of the pain

tonic. The healer said he needs to sleep if he’s going to recover, and I need him to sleep so I can think straight.

“Drink this,” I instruct, lifting his head and tilting the small glass to his lips.

He does as instructed, and within moments his body goes limp.

“I miss you,” he murmurs. “Never knew what this was like. Never thought the gods would give me someone like you. Never thought they’d be cruel enough to take you away.”

Tears burn my eyes. I miss him too, but if I can’t trust him what does any of that matter? I watch his face, waiting for him

to slip the rest of the way into sleep. When he does, I take a steadying breath and return to my work.

“Jasalyn?”

I jerk awake, my eyes snapping open at the sound of my name. When did I fall asleep? And for how long?

Kendrick’s sitting on the side of the infirmary bed, squinting against morning light coming in the window. The last thing

I remember was watching him rest. I’d finished stitching him up where I could and I was trying to convince myself I could

leave. Trying to convince myself he’d make it through the night.

“What happened?” he asks, looking around.

I squeeze my eyes shut against the horrible onslaught of emotions his voice brings. How can a sound that evokes such comfort

and peace also cause such pain?

He looks around the room, taking in all the healer’s potions and ointments before returning his attention to me. “Did I find

you at the keep? Are you hurt? Are you—”

Of course, he doesn’t remember saving me thanks to the ring. “I’m fine.” My jaw is tight. This is so hard—wanting to curl

into his arms while also wanting to run from him, knowing his recovery means everything to me while also knowing how horribly

he betrayed me. “You’re the one who’s hurt.”

“Death dogs,” he says, glancing to his side. “But you’re okay?”

“What do you remember?”

His jaw works and his blue eyes scan me again and again. “I thought you’d go there months ago. We’d been looking for you to

no avail, so we set a magical alarm of sorts—to notify us if you arrived there. It’d been so long that when the magic activated,

I didn’t remember what it was at first. I got there as fast as I could.” He searches my face. “Did I find you or did you find

me?”

“You found me.” You followed me to make sure I was safe. And you saved me.

“We’ve been worried out of our minds. Your sister—”

The blood drains from my face so fast I go lightheaded. “Stay away from my sister.”

He jerks back as if I hit him. “Jas, I don’t understand what’s happening here. My last notes in my journal tell me we’d spent

the night together. We were still planning to find the sword. You wanted to help us.” His throat bobs as he swallows. “What

happened? Did someone capture you? Where have you been?”

He doesn’t remember our last conversation just like he won’t remember this. “I left.”

The confusion on his face sends an ache through me. “Why?”

“Because I know the truth.”

“What truth?” He shakes his head. “I don’t know what happened. Tell me so I can make it right.”

I push off the floor. “I don’t want to do this again. I just stayed long enough to make sure you’d be okay, and you are, so

I’m going now.”

“Don’t go.” He looks around, as if he might find the answers he needs. “I’ve been losing my mind with worry. I close my eyes and think of how I failed you. I wonder endlessly where you’ve gone and fear what could be happening to you. Please...”

My heart tugs hard but I ignore the feeling. I can’t let him manipulate me with his pretty words. “I can’t trust anything

you say.” I stare at the floor because looking at him hurts too much. “You are the last person I ever thought could hurt me.”

“I never meant to. Anything I did...”

I swallow hard. Why isn’t this easier? He betrayed me but leaving feels impossible. “We’re in Ironmoore. You might feel stronger

by now if I’d taken you to the healers at the Midnight Palace, but I didn’t think my sister would respond kindly to discovering

a traitor in her midst.”

“Traitor?” He coughs. “What’s that supposed to mean? Will you please just talk to me?”

I meet his eyes, and my heart surges into my throat. It hurts to breathe. “What else do you call the person who lied to me?

What else do you call the male who betrayed me for his deal with Mordeus?”

His face falls. “Jas...”

“That’s right,” I whisper. “I know. I know the faerie ears aren’t a glamour at all. I know about the deal you made.”

He leans forward, the heels of his hands on his knees. “That’s why you left? Because you found out I’m fae? And found out

Mordeus asked me to keep you alive?”

I curl my nails into my palms, relishing the sting. “How can you say that like it’s nothing? Like I’m overreacting?”

“It’s not nothing, and I know that.” He holds out a hand as if I’m an injured animal who might strike if he’s not cautious.

“How could I tell you the truth? How could I admit I only pretended to be human in that cell when you hate the fae so much ? I needed you— still need you—and I didn’t want to scare you. ”

Anger surges and I cling to it. “ That’s why you lied? So I wouldn’t be scared? Try. Again.”

“Not at first, but I wanted to tell you the truth and, honestly, after everything that happened before you left, everything

you were learning about Elora and the history, I thought you were going to figure it out soon anyway. But I never guessed

it would make you run from us.” His voice dips, goes raspy. “I’m sorry.”

“And what about your deal with Mordeus? Did you think I’d figure that out too?”

He squeezes his eyes shut and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I will never forgive myself for not seeing through that request.”

When he looks at me again, it feels as if he’s looking right into my soul. As if he’s begging me to look into his. “Can you

blame me for taking that deal? I didn’t know what Mordeus had planned or what he was doing to you. All I knew was that in

return for him freeing my queen, I had to keep a girl alive. A girl who was so scared and whose kindness I could feel from