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CHAPTER

THIRTY-TWO

AMBER

Ford finally comes home this evening, and thank heaven my heart is fixed, otherwise I’m not sure it could withstand the excitement. My heart is fluttering today even more than it did when I received the most gorgeous bouquet of Pink Piano roses I’ve ever seen. Along with a sweet note from the man who seems to be the cause of all the fluttering.

I’ve been jittery all day, waiting for his SUV to pull into the garage. I even washed and curled my hair. My incision is still slightly sore but not enough to keep me from looking good today. I slipped on some cute black joggers and a fitted white, V-neck tee. I feel comfortable but put together.

Even though Ford has been away for half of our two-week marriage, I’ve grown accustomed to sleeping next to his big, warm body. Something about knowing he was there with me made me feel extra safe and cared for. Sleep hasn’t come as easily since he’s been away, especially last night when I was so excited, anticipating his return today.

“Amber, you’re wound tighter than a twister this evening.” Ford’s mom chuckles as she pours herself a glass of water from the filter by the sink .

Farrah joins in her laughter. “It’s honestly really cute.”

I smile at Ford’s sister. I feel like we’re closer now, after our conversation a few nights ago. We bonded. “Doesn’t it feel like he’s been away more than a week?”

Both of them burst into giggles again.

“You’re a woman in love,” Sally says with a wistful sigh. She takes her glass into the living room and smiles down at Nella on her playmat before peering out the window. She gasps. “I think your wait is over, sweetheart!”

My stomach does a goofy flip at the knowledge that Ford’s Land Rover is pulling up the driveway—and also at the word love . Sure, I’ve always loved Ford, and I think he feels the same. But the love she’s referring to is a totally different type, and I’m not quite ready to think about.

I run to the side door that leads to the garage. Ford parks his vehicle then opens the driver’s side door. I rush, barefoot, to greet him. I’m sure I have the dumbest smile on my face, but I can’t seem to suppress it.

His brow is furrowed, and his glasses are sliding down his nose. He opens the passenger door and grabs his suitcase, but as soon as he turns and sees me, his expression softens. His mouth pulls up into a smile, and if I didn’t know better, I’d think he looked unsure.

Ford has always been confident on the ice but not so much in every other aspect of his life, so I make the first move and step into his space, wrapping my arms around his trim waist. I hear the suitcase drop onto the cement floor as his arms wrap me up tight. I’ve never really felt at home anywhere unless I was with Ford. But the muscular arms attached to this man feel a lot like home too.

He lays his head on top of mine, and we rest in each other’s embrace for a full minute. He smells so good, the way he always does—a scent so enveloping that it drowns out the smell of dust and gasoline from the garage. The scent I’ve missed all week. And his grey suit is smooth to the touch, pressed to perfection. One of his hands moves up my back and folds gently around the back of my head. I’m not as slim as I was before having a baby, but the sheer mass of Ford’s hands makes me feel so small and dainty.

Ford’s head lifts away from mine and I can practically feel his gaze. I pull away from his chest and look up at him. Our mouths are only a few inches apart, the way we are holding each other, and I take a second to appreciate how plump and soft his lips look. When I lift my eyes to meet his, I find his beautiful brown eyes on my lips as well, and a current of heat shoots down my spine.

His eyes finally move up to find mine, and those warm brown eyes are aflame, molten-hot. He’s looking at me like he’s seeing me for the first time. He’s looking at me like he’s never looked at me before…with desire. With want. With yearning.

Ford Remington is looking at me like he missed me as much as I missed him. And maybe he did. Maybe those flowers he sent were to show me just how much he missed me.

I’ve never been the shy one here, so I lift my chin in invitation, a silent decree: here I am, kiss me.

I don’t expect him to take advantage of my boldness. Ford doesn’t act on impulses…outside of hockey. But to my delighted shock, he leans toward my mouth, just one inch. Our mouths are so close, I can feel his breath on my lips. This man that’s been right in front of me since second grade, is literally a breath away. His hot breath is minty, and I want to feel it all over. I must be a glutton, because I don’t just want to feel his lips on mine, I want to feel all of him with all of me.

Never in my life did I think I could feel annoyed to hear my daughter’s happy coos, but right now? Yeah, maybe a little. Nella’s little sounds echo through the garage, and Ford jumps away from me like he’s a match and I’m a drop of gasoline. The man can’t get away from me fast enough.

I sigh and glance toward the garage door to find Ford’s mom, who’s holding Nella, and Farrah is beside them with her arms crossed. They’re watching us with knowing smirks. Except they don’t know because they don’t know this marriage is fake. Something that I also need to be reminded of, apparently.

Ford grabs his suitcase from the floor and smiles up at them, his cheeks are pink from embarrassment. And I try not to let it hurt that he’s embarrassed to have been caught almost kissing me. His wife. Fake wife, I remind myself.

“Hey, how’s my Nella?” he asks, his voice soft which makes me melt just a little more. He moves away from me and closer to my daughter. She kicks her feet happily at the sight of her favorite person.

Farrah and Sally scoot out of the way so Ford can enter the utility room and let go of his suitcase.

We make our way into the kitchen, the setting sun filtering through the large windows from the open living room and making the whole house shine. Sally hands Nella into Ford’s outstretched arms, and he holds her close. I swear I see him sniff the top of her head, very briefly. His mom boops Nella’s nose and talks to her. Joy hits me like an arrow through the chest. Everything happening is what I’ve dreamed of my whole life. A healthy baby in the arms of a perfect husband. Family surrounding us, making even this mansion feel like a cozy little home.

It's everything I’ve always wanted, and all the things I’ve never allowed myself to envision.

And here I am, all of it unfolding before my very eyes…but none of it is real. I’m here on borrowed time .

They say it’s better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all. But is it? For all this joy and happiness to just…expire?

I shake my head, forcing away the negative thoughts. Because I’ve been looking forward to this day all week, and I won’t let these thoughts sour it. For two years, I get to embrace this life. And for two years, I’m going to wring every last joyous drop from it.

Ford turns to me, a big smile on his face. Looking just as happy as I felt a moment ago, before those intrusive thoughts entered my brain.

He bounces Nella slightly to keep her happy, already knowing what she likes after only a few weeks. “It feels good to be back home with my girls,” he says, offering me the softest smile.

My girls. Don’t swoon, don’t swoon, don’t swoon.

I smile back, knowing I’m already falling for Ford in a way I hadn’t thought possible for me and him. And even though I didn’t mean to, it happened.

He kisses the top of my daughter’s head, still smiling.

But how could I not fall?

How could I have ever thought it was possible not to?