Page 2

CHAPTER

ONE

FORD

Standing at the Delta Airlines baggage claim, I study the stupid sign I made earlier today. This morning making a glittery sign for Amber’s first visit here as a mom seemed not only fun, but like I was extending an olive branch. A proverbial, “look how fun this welcome sign is! I don’t care that my best friend since childhood now has a baby with a man I can’t stand. Oh, and welcome to D.C.!”

But as I shift awkwardly on my feet, the sign seems way over the top. It looks like I’m trying too hard, or not being genuine.

Because the fact is, Theo is a scumbag, and he not only broke my best friend’s heart, but left her with a baby and pretty much no support.

I close my eyes and try not to let my anger at Theo ruin Amber’s visit before it even begins. Taking a deep breath, I attempt to swallow my irritation, but my throat feels thick. I bring my hand up to tug at the collar of my long-sleeved D.C. Eagles hockey tee.

The soft fabric of my tee begins to itch where it touches my skin. My dark-wash jeans pull on my legs like they’re too tight. The glasses resting on my face feel too heavy. Everything is closing in on me, strangling me. I close my eyes and thrust a hand into my jeans pocket to find my dad’s university hockey championship coin he gave me as a kid. It’s dumb, childish even, but the smooth texture of the cold metal and the tiny grooves along the edge have always calmed me. It probably just takes my mind off the feelings overwhelming my brain sometimes, but nevertheless, I always have it with me.

I focus on the coin’s varying textures as my winding thoughts calm down. My heart is still beating fast, but my clothes don’t feel tight and scratchy anymore.

Before I can open my eyes, Amber’s sweet voice filters through my ears, and all the overwhelming feelings float away.

“Hey, Ford. You look good.”

She’s the only one who still calls me Ford, while the rest of the world knows me as Remington, or Remy… team captain of the D.C. Eagles. A smile spreads across my face as my eyes fly open. The sight of Amber, with her red hair, now pale pink at the ends, and bright green eyes makes my heart stop—and then race. But not in a bad way.

A soft coo pulls my attention down to a tiny head covered in a pink knitted hat. My gaze shoots back up to Amber. She’s watching me closely, and I hate that she looks nervous at my reaction to her baby. But even more so, I hate that I’m nervous about my own reaction. What if she looks like Theo? Worse yet, what if she acts like him? I know she has her mother’s red hair, that much was obvious in photos. But it’s hard to make out a baby’s features.

“Nice sign. You even added glitter.”

I meet her gaze and offer a shrug with no other explanation, then take a step forward. Leaning over, I look at the tiny human strapped onto my best friend’s body. Her little face is chubby and rosy-pink, with the widest green eyes I’ve ever seen. She’s a carbon copy of her mother. The baby blinks up at me, with long lashes that are blonde at the base and reddish on the tips. Her lashes flutter as she looks at me… and then her mouth pulls up into a toothless grin, making one dimple pop on her left cheek. The dimple is from her father, but even that thought doesn’t squelch the affection expanding inside me for this little girl. Meeting her feels different than I imagined, and now I feel stupid for being nervous about it.

My mouth pulls into a smile. I couldn’t stop it even if I wanted to.

Amber laughs, a light tittering sound. “She likes you.”

A breathy laugh escapes me. “Can I hold her?” I ask before I know what I’m doing. What the hell, Ford. You haven’t held a baby since your sisters were born.

Amber blows out a dramatic sigh. “Not sure the ladies in here can handle Ford Remington, NHL captain, and America’s heartthrob, holding a baby. You’re going to be the cause of many swoons. Possibly even fainting.”

I roll my eyes. “Fine, I’ll get your bag. I’m assuming it’s pink?”

“You know me too well.” Her eyes twinkle with mischief, telling me I’ll recognize her bag as soon as I see it.

“And I’m sure Nella would love for you to hold her once we get back to your place.” She shifts on her feet, making me wonder if her back hurts from carrying Nella around all day. “But if I take her out of this baby carrier, she’ll scream bloody murder when I try to tuck her back into it.”

I study my friend’s pretty face for a moment, noting the purple smudges under her eyes and the messy braids keeping her hair out of her face. To anyone else, nothing would seem out of place, but I know this woman almost better than I know myself. And I’ve never seen her looking so exhausted. The desire to hold her is so overwhelming, I have to ball my fists to keep myself in place. Because I’m a split second away from moving into her space and pulling her into my arms. To protect her and comfort her, to give her the safety and rest she needs.

But she knows me well too, and she knows I’m not a touchy-feely guy. So, she’d likely think that was pretty odd. I clear my throat and nod my head instead, moving toward the conveyor belt where the luggage from Amber’s flight starts piling on one by one with loud thuds.

Luckily, the fifth bag to land on the luggage carousel is pink, covered with hand-painted flowers, and has a pink ribbon attached to the handle. I move forward and grab it off the belt, it’s followed by a smaller bag that’s baby pink and has a matching ribbon tied to it. I grab that one too, assuming it’s Nella’s.

I try to pull the handle up on Amber’s suitcase to roll it, but the handle is broken and won’t budge.

“Sorry, it broke last year. The wheel is busted too, so I just carry it by the side handle,” Amber says, her voice coming from beside me.

She moves to grab the smaller bag, but Nella starts fussing. It’s a pathetic, heart-breaking sound. Amber begins to bounce up and down, and making a shhh sound.

I easily grab both bags and think to myself how much easier it is to travel with my pain-in-the-ass teammates than it must be to travel with a baby. Often, I feel like a babysitter with the guys, but at least they don’t cry…usually.

“Just these two bags?” I ask her, and she nods while still bouncing and shhh -ing. I offer her a small smile then jut my chin toward the sliding doors that lead to the parking area. She follows closely behind as we walk to my Land Rover. I already installed an infant car seat so Amber wouldn’t have to bring one. It was the only thing she’d let me buy, along with something called a pack-and-play. Nella needed a place to sleep during their visit, but the bed thingy that feels like cardboard doesn’t seem that comfortable to me.

After lifting the bags into the trunk, I close the hatch, then come around and open the back door on the driver’s side, where I have meticulously installed the safest car seat money can buy. And I stopped by a fire station earlier today to make sure it was installed correctly.

Amber giggles as she removes Nella from the baby carrier and tucks her into the car seat. “I should’ve known you’d purchase the most expensive car seat on the market.”

I peek my head in and see Nella sleeping as her mother jostles her around to buckle the car seat. “I didn’t pay attention to the price; I just got the one with the highest safety ratings.”

Amber jumps at the sound of my voice. She must not have realized I was so close behind her. Her back collides with my front, and I place my hands on her hips to steady her.

She laughs and brushes my hands away. “Sorry, you kind of snuck up on me.”

I smile. “I’ve always been able to do that, haven’t I?”

She smiles back, a million memories moving through those emerald eyes. “Yes, you have.”

During the hour-long drive to my house, thanks to D.C. traffic, Amber yawns half a dozen times. Nella sleeps the whole time, or maybe she’s awake and just really quiet. I don’t know much about babies.

I pull into my garage, and Amber releases a dreamy sigh that makes my head spin, imagining a dozen different ways I could get her to repeat that sound.

“Finally,” she says. “I’ve been dreaming about your mattress since last time I visited.”

I blink rapidly, trying to slow my racing thoughts. Because my twisted brain has had several dreams that include me, Amber, and my mattress over the years. But there’s no way that’s what she’s referring to.

She glances over at me and bursts into laughter. “Calm down, I meant your guest room’s mattress. I wish you could see your face!” She laughs again. “You look so horrified.”

I force a laugh and scratch the back of my head, going for a casual look. “Ha. I’m just tired from early practice this morning. My brain isn’t functioning at full capacity.”

Still giggling, she unbuckles her seatbelt and walks around the vehicle to get Nella.

Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath before removing my own seatbelt and getting the bags from the trunk.

We step inside my large home, every surface sparkling because I clean when I’m nervous, or stressed, or sad… or happy. But today it was nerves making me clean. The other guys on the team pay house-keepers, but not me. Don’t need one since I’m what they call a neat freak .

Amber glances around, as if looking for any changes since she was here a year ago. Her eyes land on the infinity countertop made from concrete, then the rest of the modern kitchen. Every appliance is made to match the cabinets, giving a streamlined appearance. Her head swivels to take in the dining room. The table and chairs are white and sleek, not an item out of place.

“I swear, nothing has moved since last time I was here,” she finally says, walking farther inside the house and smiling when she sees the living room. My sectional is white, the rug is white, and the large flatscreen is mounted to the wall, with every cord hidden for optimum tidiness.

“I don’t like change.” I shrug and carry the bags upstairs to the guest room, which is right across from my master. I offered her the bigger space since she’s sharing with Nella, but she refused, saying she didn’t want to be high maintenance.

Since my guest room is almost as big, and has its own attached bathroom, I didn’t argue.

I can hear the light sounds of Amber’s footsteps behind me. “I’ll never understand how you can keep things so clean all the time. You should see my apartment, Ford. It’s a mess of bottles, diapers, baby toys.” She groans and I study her, noting once again how tired and worn down she looks.

“Well, that makes sense, since you have a baby. It would be kind of weird if my place was a mess, seeing as I live alone.” I keep my voice quiet since Nella is still asleep in her infant car seat, which Amber is carrying along. She’s standing lop-sided, like the car seat is getting heavier with each passing second. I quickly carry the bags into the guest room, then take the car seat from her and set it gently on the bed.

I still for a moment, studying the teeny version of Amber sleeping in front of me. Her tiny lips form a cupid’s bow, slimy with drool. Her pink outfit looks damp in the front, like she spit milk onto it during the flight. Then, something amazing happens. Nella sneezes. It’s the cutest sound I’ve ever heard. I pinch my lips together, trying to play it cool.

“I know. Cutest sound ever, right?” I can hear the smile in Amber’s voice.

I turn to look at her and finally relax, allowing a smile to lift my lips. “Damn, it really is.”

My eyes go wide. “I mean, dang it. Sorry.”

She covers her mouth, stifling a laugh. “She’s three months old, Ford. She’s not going to learn swear words any time soon.”

I breathe a sigh of relief. In the dimly lit room, I notice the dark circles under her eyes again. “You doing okay, Ambs? ”

Her smile fades, her expression turning troubled. I hate that look; I want to wipe it away.

“Let me put her to bed, then we’ll talk, okay?”

“Yeah, sure. The baby bed thingy is set up already.” I point to the corner of the room where I put her pack-and-play. “I’ll go make some tea.”

“Perfect.” Her smile momentarily returns before she yawns loudly.

Something inside me settles at having her here. Even though she’s exhausted, and we have a lot of catching up to do. Having her and Nella here just feels right.