Page 29

CHAPTER

TWENTY-EIGHT

FORD

On the flight from Virginia to Anaheim, California, I try to sit near Coach Young. The Eagles charter a small plane, just large enough to hold our players and the people who work closely with us. Coaches, general manager, Jeff the equipment manager, etc.

Tom, our general manager, beat me to the open seat next to Coach Young. The two of them obviously had things to talk about and dove right into a hushed conversation.

There are only two large seats per row, so I couldn’t squeeze in and interrupt even if I wanted to. Bruce or Colby probably would, but the thought gives me that itchy feeling. Confidence on the ice is one thing, but confidence in social situations, I’m lacking. I would just make everything awkward.

I can find another time to speak with coach. Hopefully before our game tomorrow night. Meanwhile, I pull out my iPad to watch game footage from our last few games and see if I can pick out the issue.

Until Bruce slumps down in the seat beside me with an exaggerated sigh .

I ignore him, then he sighs loudly again a minute later. Closing my eyes, I remind myself that building relationships with my teammates is part of my job as captain. And if our chemistry on the ice is off, maybe the first step is working on off-ice relationships.

Opening my eyes again, I look up at Bruce and offer him a smile. “How’s it going?”

Bruce blows out a breath, sending his long blond waves flying upward. “Fine. How’s married life, Cap’n?”

I smile, trying not to let the fact I already miss Amber and Nella show on my face. “Great. Amber’s healing well from her procedure, and Nella is sleeping like champ.”

Bruce smiles back, then looks away. “I’m the only one alone now.”

My eyebrows shoot up. Bruce always seemed content to do his own thing, dating and all that. “You’re not alone. You have all of us.” I gesture toward the seats around us, the plane filled with his teammates.

“Mitch and Andie get married in a few weeks, then Colby and Noel tie the knot after playoffs. And I’ll be the only unmarried guy in our group,” he whispers like he’s embarrassed… as if he’s telling me he has herpes or he can’t pronounce the word espresso correctly.

“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” I whisper back. “I thought you liked being single.”

He scoffs. “Nobody likes being single. We’re all looking for the one, aren’t we?”

Leaning my head to the side, I study him. He appears very serious, more serious than I’ve ever seen him before.

“I’m sorry it’s bothering you,” I say, trying to remember the comforting things that are socially normal to tell someone. Things people have said to me over the years. “But you do have all of us. We have your back. And you’re a charmer, Bruce. You’ll meet the one soon enough, I’m sure of it.”

He perks up in his seat. “You really think so?” he asks, his voice still hushed. “I think it’d be kind of cool to have a wife waiting for me back home.”

I chuckle. “Yeah, I really think so.”

He finally looks down at my iPad screen and notices the paused video of our last game. “What are you looking at?”

I slide my tongue along my front teeth, thinking before answering. “Our season started so strong. We won against some of the toughest teams. Honestly, I really thought this might be our year to go all the way, to win the cup. But now, we’ve lost three games in a row, it’s not one person’s fault, but all of us, I think.” I pause, scratching my chin. “Every team has losses, but it’s something more than that. There’s something bigger going on, but I can’t put my finger on what it is. And I’m desperate to figure it out.”

What I don’t add is that I’m terrified I’m the problem. I’ve completely changed my life, which I’d choose again and again, but I’m not great with change. It upsets the delicate balance I’ve created for myself to thrive. What if that’s all out of whack now, and I can’t get the balance back? What if my autism finally ruins my career.

No. I refuse to believe that. If I found balance once, I can find it again, this time with Amber and Nella.

Bruce nods. “Play the footage. I’ll help.”

The following evening, we win our game in Anaheim, but it’s not a satisfying win. Anaheim is not a top-tier team, and we didn’t even win in overtime—we went to a shootout. But it’s a win, so I’ll take it .

As I step onto the jet for our flight from Anaheim to San Francisco, I quickly take the seat next to Coach Young. Tom always sits next to him, so he gives me a funny look when he walks past this row and takes a seat in the row in front of us instead. Bruce sits beside him, so I hope he’s ready for a chatty two-hour flight.

“Hey, Remy,” Coach Young says when he finally looks up and notices it’s not Tom in the seat beside him.

“Coach,” I say, nodding my head. “We need to talk.”

The engine of the plane whirs to life and we take off down the runway.

Coach Young waits for the plane to level out before speaking. “You’re right, I’ve been meaning to pick your brain, but our schedule is so hectic while traveling. I assume you want to talk about our losses?”

I nod again. “I know we won last night, but?—”

“I hear you. I wasn’t satisfied with that win either.”

“I’ve been watching game footage, and I think we need to switch up our first line.”

His expression turns thoughtful. “Really? The first line? Why?”

The first line includes me as center, Colby as right-winger, West as left-winger, then Mitch and Rasmussen, two of our best defensemen. So, I understand his confusion. Our first line is solid. Why would I pick it apart? The five of us have played together forever. We know each other’s moves and tricks. We move like a well-oiled machine.

But just because you’ve done one thing for a while, doesn’t mean it’s the best thing. That’s something I’ve learned tenfold these past few weeks. “We’ve got a good thing going, but I think changing it up would spice it up. Make us more alert, more aware. And we have the rookie…” I trail off, trying to remember his name .

Coach Young smiles. He knows I don’t forget names because I think I’m better than anyone else. He probably thinks it’s a personality quirk or something. He doesn’t know it’s just that my brain gets overwhelmed and shuts down.

“Thomas,” Coach Young offers. “You wanna give him a try on first line? Rasmussen might not be thrilled with this change.”

“Rasmussen has great energy, and he’s been with the Eagles for five years now. I think he’d do well on second line, and it would give him the chance to lead and work with some of the younger guys.”

Coach Young brings a hand up and rubs the back of his neck. His eyebrows are drawn like he’s deep in thought. “I don’t think it’s a terrible idea, maybe worth trying. I’ll talk to Tom and see what he thinks too. I appreciate your input. This is what makes you a great captain, you know?” He smirks. “Not every captain would take the time to troubleshoot an issue like this or be willing to switch up his own line.”

I huff a laugh, not wanting to accept the compliment. Half the time, I think West would make a better captain than me. He’s confident and charismatic, and everyone loves him. He’s great at public appearances, and in interviews. Also, he probably never has to watch what everyone else is doing to know how he should act in social settings.

Maybe I’m too distracted by trying to be normal to have the focus it takes to lead an NHL team.

And now I have two brand new, totally wonderful distractions on top of that.

“Hey, I heard you got married?” Coach’s comment draws me out of my own head. “What the hell? You didn’t even tell us.”

“Sorry.” I grimace. “It happened kind of fast. ”

He frowns at that; he knows me well enough to know I never jump into things without thinking.

“But it’s a good thing,” I say, hoping to reassure him. “Amber and I have been best friends since second grade. I can’t imagine being married to anyone but her.”

He grins. “Happy to hear it. And she has a baby?”

“Nella.” I smile.

“You look happy.” He sighs. “But you should know that Knight is planning a very large, very ostentatious party for you guys.”

I roll my eyes. “I’m not surprised, but thanks for the heads up.”