Page 19 of Best Laid Plans

‘ Oui ?’ He looked uncomfortable at the mention of her ex.

‘I think you’re right; it would never have worked out with him long term.

I’ve been so distracted by the humiliation I felt after the way he dumped me, I got the feeling muddled with missing him.

I need to be with someone who’s proud of me for what I’ve achieved, not jealous of my success.

I’ve been beating myself up about the wrong things. It’s time I stopped.’

‘ Oui .’

‘Thank you, for helping me realise that.’

‘You’re welcome. You deserve to be happy, Indigo.’

‘As do you, Julien.’

They stared at each other, with the crackle of unsaid words in the air around them.

Say something more, Julien. Please.

But he didn’t; he just nodded in a sage kind of way, as if he hadn’t heard the underlying pleading in her voice.

So that was it; she had to leave right now, on her terms. It was important for her peace of mind that she kept her control, after having it so savagely ripped away from her in her last relationship.

For her own sense of self-confidence, she couldn’t allow Julien to dismiss her too.

‘Okay, well, I’m ready to go when you are,’ she said overly brightly.

He didn’t say another word as they walked up to the deck together. When they reached where the small onboard motorboat was housed, she hung back until he’d released it from its mooring and manoeuvred it down the small slope and into the water.

After climbing in he held out his hand to help her clamber in too and she hoped to goodness he wouldn’t notice how much she was trembling.

Neither of them talked as Julien piloted the small craft back to the shore, sending waves of froth into the choppy water behind them.

At any other time she would have loved the feeling of powering through the waves at high speed, revelling in the adrenaline rush of something so alien and exciting, but the heavy tug of gloom in her belly cancelled out any enjoyment she might have felt.

Julien drove the boat straight onto the deserted beach and jumped out, pulling it further ashore so she could step out without getting her feet wet.

Hopping out, she turned to face him.

‘So, I guess this is it, then,’ she said, giving him a smile that she knew must look incredibly fake.

‘Probably not,’ he said, dipping his chin and raising his eyebrow, his eyes holding a look she couldn’t decipher.

Was he making a joke about their strangely magnetic connection, or was he about to ask to see her again after he’d concluded his holiday?

She drew in a shaky breath, anticipation making a pulse beat hard in her throat.

‘Based on our luck so far, we’re bound to run into each other on Capri,’ he said with a playful lilt to his voice.

She nodded and waited – heart racing, breath stuck in her throat – for him to suggest they make a plan to meet up there.

But he didn’t. Instead, he gave her a tight smile, then turned to look back towards where his yacht was anchored a mile or so off the coast. ‘Well, I’d better get back and chart my course,’ he said, his voice giving no suggestion at all that he was sorry to see her go.

‘I only have the boat for three more days then it’s back to real life for me too. ’

Real life.

Her stomach dipped and her eyes grew hot, but she refused to show him how much it was going to hurt her to leave him like this.

‘Okay, well, enjoy the rest of your holiday,’ she said, steeling herself as he moved towards her and placed a gentle kiss on each cheek, French-style.

‘It was good knowing you, Indigo,’ he murmured into her ear, before pulling back and giving her a firm nod.

‘You too, Julien.’ She was amazed she’d been able to get the words past her throat.

He nodded once more before turning abruptly on the spot and striding away from her.

* * *

It felt empty on the boat after Indigo had gone.

Julien paced up and down the deck feeling unsettled about the way she’d left so suddenly.

When he’d woken up to find her watching him with that perplexed expression in her eyes he’d been worried that he’d made a huge mistake asking her to stay the night, that he’d hurt her more than helped her – and set himself up for more heartache too – and his first instinct had been to gently remind her that it had been a one-time-only thing for him.

He’d been relieved when she’d made the decision to go without him having to say anything, but he’d also been taken aback and a little perturbed by how vehement she’d been about it.

Something about the way she’d sprung out of bed didn’t sit well with him.

After that, he’d felt compelled to offer her a lift to Sorrento and had experienced a strange sting of hurt when she’d been almost cold in her refusal.

The memory of it disturbed him.

Perhaps she’d regretted what had happened between them after she’d fallen apart last night.

He didn’t though. He’d loved the feel of her in his arms and the softness of her pressed beneath him. She’d been so responsive to him, making it clear she’d enjoyed his touch as much as he’d enjoyed hers.

Maybe she was just distracted by the thought of what awaited her when she got home after talking to him about it last night.

It made him so angry to think about how badly her ex had treated her because her strength and tenacity had intimidated him. And he hated the idea that she had to face the threat of losing the business she’d worked so hard to build from nothing – all on her own.

She deserved better.

Needing a distraction from his thoughts, he went down into the galley kitchen and fixed himself some breakfast, raiding the ready-stocked cupboards and fridge, choosing sugar-free muesli and strong black coffee to satisfy his appetite. Not that he felt particularly hungry this morning.

After clearing away his crockery, he tried reading one of the books from a shelf in the living area, but he couldn’t seem to concentrate on it.

He was restless and twitchy. Perhaps Indigo had had a point about not missing today’s walk.

His body seemed attuned to doing that much exercise now and the lack of it today had left him with an abundance of energy.

Getting up, he went down to the bedroom and made the bed, pausing to skim his fingers over a small black smudge that the last of her eye make-up had left on one of the pillows.

It made him think of the way she’d looked at him through her thick black lashes when she wanted him to agree to something and a sudden, disorientating feeling of loss hit him straight in the solar plexus, taking his breath away.

Like the walking, he’d become so attuned to her presence he appeared to be missing her company.

Which finally brought him round to the real reason he’d felt troubled about her leaving so suddenly.

Waking up in the early hours of the morning to find her warm body snuggled up against his had comforted him.

Lying there under the heavy blanket of night he’d felt such a sense of calm – for the first time in as long as he could remember.

He’d rested there, with Indigo in his arms, exulting in the rush and pull of the ocean beneath them, enjoying the gentle melody of the waves against the hull of the boat as he drifted in and out of sleep.

In his half-wakeful state, he’d relived the feel of her long limbs wrapped around him, and the intoxicating scent of her as he dragged it deep into his lungs and the sweet taste of her in his mouth.

He’d wanted her so badly, last night, he’d ached with it and had just taken what he wanted.

Even though he’d known it was a bad idea.

An insight that had been reinforced when he’d seen the wariness in her eyes the next morning.

It reminded him a little too keenly of all those gut-wrenching mornings, waking up next to Celine and seeing the shuttered look on her face. The cold, blank expression of a woman who despised him.

His failure to make things right between him and Celine still haunted him, even though they were divorced now, and she was no longer his responsibility.

He’d always been able to fix things before he met her: by finally earning enough money to buy his mother the kind of house she deserved and provide her with a lifestyle that made her happy, by finding jobs for friends who found themselves adrift and in money trouble.

But with Celine he’d not been able to find a way to satisfy her.

He’d given her everything he could think of and it still hadn’t been enough.

It had eaten away at him.

And now he had a new regret.

He’d known, in his heart, that Indigo wasn’t the sort of person who would be satisfied with a one-night stand, but he’d pretended it was and gone ahead and let it happen anyway. To satisfy his greedy need.

Slumping down onto the bed, he rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling, imagining the vast blue sky stretching out above him, feeling smaller and more helpless than he was comfortable with.

He really didn’t want to have Indigo’s suffering gnawing away at him too. He could have done so much more to make her happy, but he’d let her go, telling himself it was what she wanted.

She’d needed more from him than a kiss on the cheek and a metaphorical pat on the head.

His hands balled at his sides as blood rushed through his veins.

There was no way he could leave things with her like this; it would plague him for the rest of his life.

Especially when he knew he could do something to really help and support her.

Sitting up, he took a deep fortifying breath, feeling his energy returning as purpose and resolve flooded his body with adrenaline.

He was going to find her and make things right.