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Chapter Thirty-Three

Ronan

The next morning, I was in my truck heading to Vegas.

I had shit I needed, and I couldn’t bear the thought of going into my mom’s trailer, so I had no choice but to travel back to Vegas.

Elias didn’t want to leave me. He was insistent on coming with me even though I told him my apartment was nothing special. I lived in shit my entire life. It wasn’t any different when I left to hide in Las Vegas. If anything, it was a different kind of shit. I hadn’t been in prostitution since I had come back to Monticello.

It was a long drive back to my home away from home…about seven to eight hours, give or take, with traffic. Elias slept the majority of the time, and I enjoyed listening to his soft snores, glancing over to see his soft curls blow from the heater.

He was beautiful.

We hadn’t exactly gotten a lot of sleep last night, but I knew he needed this. I was yawning like a bitch, but I couldn’t have slept even if I had the chance. My mind was consumed with him.

Now, I kept my hands on the wheel, fingers gripping tight as I tried to keep my focus on the road.

Elias sat next to me, the car smelling faintly of his cologne mixed with the stale air of my own neglected ride. I could feel his presence beside me, his quiet strength somehow grounding me in a way that nothing else had in a long time.

“So, this is Vegas, huh?” Elias said, breaking the silence as we passed by the rundown storefronts and crowded streets of the city.

His voice was calm, but I could sense he was taking in everything, like he was trying to adjust to this new world I was part of.

“Yeah,” I replied, my gaze flicking to him before focusing back on the road. “Not the prettiest place, but it was home.”

He nodded, but I could see the way he kept glancing out the window, his brow furrowing slightly. It wasn’t his first time in a rough area, but I knew it was different for him. A priest’s life didn’t exactly involve the city’s gritty underbelly. Not unless you counted his work helping the homeless or the community, but this…this was different.

“It’s not bad,” he said after a pause, a hint of amusement in his voice. “A little…lived in.”

“Lived in?” I snorted, glancing at him. “That’s one way of putting it. More like ‘a snap away of a grandma’s G-string.’”

Elias chuckled, the sound light and easy as if he didn’t mind the imperfections of the city.

“Only you would have some ridiculous reference like that.”

His easy laughter made me feel like maybe, just maybe, I wasn’t dragging him into something he couldn’t handle.

The car hummed beneath us as we made a few more turns, the buildings growing older, the streets narrower. I knew exactly where we were headed. It was the same place I had returned to after everything went to hell, and the same place I returned to when hadn’t quite figured out how to make things right again.

But then again, it beat the prison any day. There was still clerical bullshit they were sending me. I couldn’t begin to focus on taking the measures to get the men punished for what they did. I knew Elias wanted me to, but I just couldn’t. Thinking of that night…

It was too much.

“You’ll see,” I said, pulling into the parking lot in front of my building. “It’s not much, but it’s mine. All the random roaches and rats will be your besties in no time, too.”

I killed the engine and sat there for a moment, taking a breath before getting out. I looked over to see Elias grimace, and I laughed. The weight of having him with me, here, in this part of my life, was a new kind of pressure I wasn’t sure how to carry.

Elias took a deep breath and opened the passenger side door.

“I’m sure it’s fine,” he said, giving me a reassuring look. “Besides, I think I’ve gotten used to the idea of things being a little imperfect…especially with us.”

I glanced at him, the sincerity in his words settling deep into my chest. He wasn’t just here to visit. He was here to try, to learn who I was when I left all those years ago. He wanted to know me. And that meant something to me more than he could probably know.

I led him toward the entrance of the building. The smell of old wood and something else stale greeted us as we passed through the door. I hadn’t really noticed the odor before, but with Elias next to me, everything felt more…present.

The hallway was narrow, and the dim lighting did nothing to improve its state. The walls were chipped, peeling in some spots, but there was a certain charm to it if you looked close enough—like an old song that didn’t care about the imperfections but just wanted to be heard.

“Here we are,” I said, giving Elias a small smile as I led the way to the stairs.

Elias looked up at the steep staircase, then back at me. “No elevator?”

I shook my head, amused by his reaction. “We’re not exactly living in luxury here.”

We made our way up the stairs, the wooden steps creaking under our feet. The building was old, probably from the 1920s, maybe earlier, and you could feel it in the way it groaned with each step we took. But I liked it. It was mine. It was home, even if it wasn’t what I imagined it would be.

As we reached the third floor, I could see the faint glow of light slipping through the cracks of my apartment door. I raised my hand and knocked.

“Yo!” came a voice from the other side. “What the hell do you want?”

I rolled my eyes. “It’s me. Open up.”

After a moment, the door swung open, and Travis stood barefoot, hair a mess, wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants that hung low on his hips. His eyes went wide as he saw Elias standing next to me.

“Oh, shit,” Travis muttered, looking Elias up and down, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “You’ve got your priest? You’re really out here living your best life, huh, big boy?”

I groaned, pushing past Travis before he could make this any worse.

“Can you not? Seriously?”

Elias, unfazed by Travis’s lack of tact, stepped forward with a polite smile.

“I’m Elias. Nice to meet you.” he extended his hand in greeting.

Travis eyed Elias’s hand, then cracked a grin, shaking it firmly.

“Travis,” he said with a wink. “Nice to meet you, Father. You know, I wasn’t expecting to get blessed today, but I’m not complaining.”

Elias gave a small chuckle, the tension easing between them.

“It’s just Elias,” he said, clearly trying to keep things light. “And no blessings required, I promise.”

I gestured to the cluttered space behind us. “Anyway, this is my place. Apologies in advance for the mess. Trav was supposed to keep it cleaned up while I was away.”

Travis shrugged at my pointed look toward him.

The apartment wasn’t much to look at—small, cluttered, with mismatched furniture and a kitchen that had seen better days—but it was home. The couch was worn, the coffee table covered in papers and old books, and the air had a mix of stale takeout and coffee. It wasn’t beautiful, but it was lived in and had everything I needed.

I continued the tour to the adjoining kitchen and stopped when I saw Frupe–my spider plant and the only equivalent to a fucking pet I had ever owned, was in a disheveled state of death.

“Dude! You killed my plant?”

Travis ignored me, and Elias cleared his throat while I mourned that damn green savage.

“I’ll…take the couch, then,” Elias said, glancing at me with an almost nervous energy.

Travis let out a short laugh and plopped down on the armchair. “You can sit wherever you want, Father. It’s not like he got a guest room.”

I shot him a glare, trying to ignore the way Travis’s sarcasm hung in the air.

“I’m going to make something to eat, Travis. You owe me another fucking pet, asshole,” I muttered, heading toward the kitchen.

Travis chortled and shook his head, seemingly finding immense humor in the death of my dearest of loyal companions.

“Ha. That damn thing ain’t no pet. I’ll get you a junkyard dog you can name some dumbass weird name.”

Elias followed me to the kitchen, his footsteps soft against the worn wooden floor. “If it’s not too much trouble, I’d love something light,” he said quietly, a hint of hesitation in his voice. “I don’t want to impose.”

“You’re not imposing,” I reassured him, grabbing some pasta from the cabinet. “I’ll make us something. It’s not fancy, but it’ll be edible…maybe.”

I heard Travis’s voice from the living room. “I’m just saying you should’ve brought more holy water with you,” he called. “This place could use a bit of…cleansing.”

“Not now, Travis,” I snapped, but I couldn’t stop the small smile tugging at my lips.

Elias sat down at the kitchen table, the quiet hum of the apartment surrounding us. It felt…different, having him here. Like I was seeing my world through new eyes, and for the first time in a long time, it didn’t feel like a mess I was stuck in.

Maybe, just maybe, things were starting to come together.

I could hear Travis’s voice drifting from the living room, filled with his usual casual irreverence. I was stirring the pasta on the stove, trying to ignore the mess in my kitchen as I worked to get something fucking decent together for dinner.

Elias had settled into one of the mismatched chairs, his posture stiff but patient, like he was waiting for the world to come at him one question at a time.

The sound of Travis shuffling closer made me groan inwardly, but I couldn’t exactly stop him. Elias had been trying to make himself at home, and Travis wasn’t about to make that easy.

“So, Father…” Travis began, his voice loud enough that I could hear the smugness in it. “What’s the deal? What made you decide to give up the good life to, you know, pray for the masses and whatnot?”

He sounded genuinely curious but also like he was trying to provoke. It was his way of testing people.

I glanced over at Elias, catching the slight tension in his jaw. His face was calm, but his eyes—those eyes that always seemed to see through everything—gave away a little bit of unease. But he wasn’t going to back down.

“I’ve always felt a calling,” Elias said quietly, his voice steady, but there was something deeper in it.

He wasn’t just answering the question. He was explaining part of himself that didn’t often get shared.

“It’s not about giving anything up. It’s about finding where I’m supposed to be. Helping people…guiding them through the hardest parts of their lives.” He paused for a moment, meeting Travis’s gaze. “Maybe I’m just one of the few who answered the call.”

Travis scoffed slightly, but there was a genuine curiosity behind his smirk. He leaned against the doorframe, watching Elias intently.

“And you just…knew? Knew you were supposed to be some kind of holy man?”

Elias nodded, taking a deep breath. “I don’t know if I ever knew,” he said. “But I felt it. There was this pull one day like I wasn’t meant to be doing anything else.”

He shifted slightly in his seat, running a hand through his strawberry hair.

“It wasn’t an easy choice. There were doubts, but I trusted that this is where I’m supposed to be.”

I kept my eyes on the pasta, feeling the pressure of the silence between them. Travis wasn’t exactly the type to dig deep unless he felt like the person wasn’t going to fight back, but Elias didn’t seem bothered.

In fact, something about the way Elias spoke made it clear he wasn’t about to let anyone shake his faith or his decision.

Travis snorted, crossing his arms as he leaned back against the wall. “So, you just…gave up everything? Your whole life to do that? Sex?”

Elias’s eyes met mine for a split second as if he were checking to see if I was still listening. And I was. I was listening to every word, watching every movement. There was a calmness in Elias that didn’t need to fight for attention. He just was.

“I didn’t give up my life,” Elias responded, voice steady. “I found it. I found something greater than myself. Before I made my vows, I was…troubled.”

The words hung in the air, and I could see Travis’s usual bravado falter slightly. I didn’t know that Elias had struggled before becoming a priest. It made me wonder what that meant. For a second, I could almost see a flicker of something else in Travis’s eyes. Maybe respect. Maybe curiosity mixed with a little bit of awe.

“Damn, Father,” Travis said, breaking the silence with a low whistle. “That’s some serious shit. I’m not sure I could ever commit to something like that.” he leaned forward, squinting at Elias.

“No offense, man. I get that it’s your thing, but that’s a whole lot of ‘yes, Lord for me, and when I heard that, it’s usually by someone else with my cock in their mouth. Roney Boney knows a thing or two about that.”

I feared Elias would shut down at his wording, afraid that my world before him would be too much, but Elias let out a soft laugh, a slight smile curving his lips.

“It’s not about saying ‘yes’ every single time. It’s about knowing when to listen.” He glanced at me, his gaze lingering a little longer than it needed to like he was trying to gauge my reaction.

“I think that’s something I am trying to do more. We could all do with listening to one another speak. There is a lot unsaid sometimes, and when we listen to it, we can open the eyes of others. Without listening, we’re left with nothing but assumptions.”

I shifted, feeling the weight of Elias’s words like they were meant for more than just Travis. Maybe even for me.

What was I meant to listen to? What hadn’t Elias told me?

Travis grinned and clapped Elias on the back, almost too hard, but Elias didn’t flinch, just chuckled lightly. “Well, hell. I gotta admit, that’s pretty solid. I might have to take a page from your book sometime.”

“Yeah,” I chimed in, my voice a little rougher than usual. “Good luck with that, man.”

Travis shot me a lazy grin and raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, I’m so not doing that. I’m not built for the whole ‘sacrificing yourself for the greater good’ routine. But I respect it. You’re a rare breed, Daddy Cross.” He leaned back against the wall, his tone shifting from teasing to a little more thoughtful. “I just hope it’s worth it. You know?”

There was a brief moment of silence before Elias spoke again, his voice softer, like he was sharing something just a little more personal.

“It’s worth it if you feel it in your soul. If you can help even one person find peace, it’s worth it.”

Travis seemed to chew on that for a moment, then nodded more quietly than usual. “I can respect that.”

I was surprised by the shift in Travis’s tone. I hadn’t expected him to soften, not with his usual sharp-edged humor. But there it was, his defenses dropping for just a moment.

The weight of what Elias had said was starting to sink in for all of us. Even Travis wasn’t immune to the power of those words. There was something genuine about him that couldn’t be ignored.

I cleared my throat, trying to break the moment before it turned into something too serious.

“All right, enough about ‘Elias the Holy Man’ for one night. You two are giving me a headache with all this deep talk. Travis, make yourself useful and grab some drinks from the fridge, yeah?”

Travis grinned again, his usual smirk returning.

“You got it, boss.” He turned toward the fridge and tossed me a wink. “Don’t worry, Father. This one hasn’t so much as batted his pretty black eyelashes at anyone in my line of work since he came crawlin’ back to ya. He’s a good boy, now.”

Elias laughed softly, the sound still gentle, but I could tell he appreciated the attempt at humor. I could feel the tension lifting, the easy camaraderie settling back in.

As Travis handed me a beer, I felt a strange sense of peace. Maybe it was because I was no longer alone in my mess. Maybe it was because Elias, somehow, had brought a sense of balance into everything that was wrong with my life.

But for the first time in a long time, it felt like there was a chance things could get better. Maybe not perfect, but better.

With him by my side, everything was possible.