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Chapter Twenty-Nine

Ronan

I watched the reflection of Elias’s face in the window. The bliss and true joy filtering through his eyes made me want to lose it. I held on as long as I could, desperate to give him everything he deserved and more. I didn’t want him to feel like a toy. He was my treasure. My own divinity.

“God, I am going to fucking come!” I said, thrusting into his tight ass over and over until my hips were a blur in my own vision.

His panting was too much. The way he begged and ground against my body. I was not strong enough for this. I couldn’t stop myself.

“Mmm, Fuck. Yes. Give me your come. Fill up my hole. Let me have all of you.”

His words, the heat of the car, the contours of his body, the heat blowing on my ass was everything. It was a live wire exposed to the highest bolt of electricity. I was coming undone.

“Fuck!” I roared, holding his hips tightly, pressing his ass into my stomach, unwilling to let any of my come escape his tight little hole. “Oh, fuck. Oh, wow.”

I couldn’t catch my breath. And then his ass contracted around me, the seat was soaked in his watery come, and I felt myself lose it all over again.

The force of his orgasm ripped free one of my own. Elias looked like a fucking pastry. His hole gaped, so open and full of my seed.

I shoved my fingers into the space my cock left, unwilling to let any of it leak from him.

“Not so fast. I will not leave you. I will keep you so filled with my come that you can’t walk a single step without it running down your thighs. Do you fucking hear me? You are mine, Elias Cross.”

He whimpered in response, grinding his beautiful ass onto my hand and contracting again and again on my fingers.

He was a beautiful fucking mess.

My mess.

Finally, his breathing calmed, and I removed my come-drenched digits, spinning him around and shoving my fingers deep into his throat. He gagged, sucking the length deep into his perfect throat.

“Ah. You are too damn perfect,” I praised, nodding and enjoying his skillful tongue. My spent dick twitched, unable to ignore him. “Such a good boy. You’re fucking perfect. You take me so well. You took this cock so beautifully. Look at you. So god damn beautiful. So goddamn full.”

My praise made him moan deeper, and his own cock danced for me inside that damn cage.

Ugh, I wanted to rip that thing off of him. He was mine. I didn’t want something blocking him from my view.

“I want this off, Elias,” I said, a warning low in my throat as I gripped the cage in my hand and growled.

Elias swallowed and looked down.

“Yes. I agree that it’s time. I have already made my choice. I…I cannot pick my sins. It is all beautifully damning.”

* * *

The car was quiet, save for the soft hum of the engine and the occasional crackle of the radio. Elias drove with one hand on the wheel, his knuckles relaxed, and the other resting on the armrest between us.

His jaw was tight, and his eyes focused on the road ahead, but there was something in the way he kept glancing at me like he was checking to make sure I was still with him. I knew he was likely struggling with finally giving in to me, but he seemed more at peace than anything.

I leaned against the cool window, the night outside stretching on forever. I felt a strange kind of heaviness in my chest, not quite like the grief that had been with me for so long, but something new. Something intense. Something real. Something…warm.

The memories of what had happened earlier between us were still fresh—too fresh—but in a way that made my body hum with a tension I couldn’t shake. I wasn’t sure what I was feeling, honestly.

We had crossed a line, a line I’d been too afraid to cross for months. Maybe longer. But now that we had, I couldn’t undo it. I didn’t want to. And I could only hope he wouldn’t either.

But another part of me felt like I was about to burn up from the inside out, caught between the relief of finally giving in to this need for him and the fear of what it meant. Of what it had always meant.

The way Elias had touched me, held me, The passion in our kiss, and the feel of him on my cock. The way he’d whispered my name as though it was the only thing that mattered—there was a tenderness there that shattered me, and now, all I could think about was the silence that had followed—the unspoken questions hanging in the air between us.

Is he going to renounce his vows? Will the guilt pull at the seams of the heavy robes he wears? Is he going to run?

“I don’t want you to think I am not happy,” Elias’s voice cut through the quiet, soft but full of a vulnerability I wasn’t sure I’d ever heard from him. His eyes flicked to me for a brief moment before he turned his attention back to the road. “I just…this is complicated for me. For so long, I have only known my faith, and coming to grasp my guilt is harder than I realized it would be.”

I swallowed the words I wanted to say, catching in my throat. What could I say? I knew it was complicated, that it terrified me, but it also felt right. That part of me had always wanted this but had pushed it away out of fear of losing something I couldn’t name. I knew he loved me, and he knew I loved him…but would it be enough?

“I’m not sure what it means,” I finally said, my voice hoarse. “What it changes. Between us. But…I don’t regret it. I never will. I want you to…feel the same. I need you to.”

Elias didn’t respond right away, and for a moment, I thought maybe he hadn’t heard me. But then I saw his fingers tightened around the steering wheel.

“Neither do I,” he said quietly. “But it’s a lot to take in, Ronan. There is a lot I must do now. I don’t know how to navigate this. I don’t regret giving myself to you. I just…I need time to process all this. I love you. That is all I know for certain.”

I nodded, the weight of his words settling over me like a heavy blanket. Time. I didn’t know if we had time to figure this out, but I didn’t want to rush into anything, either.

The church came into view, the stone building dark and looming in the night, its tall spires stretching up like silent sentinels. Elias’s church, where he had spent so many years in service, was the place where he had always been my steady anchor. My refuge, even when we pushed each other away.

He pulled into the small parking lot, the engine cutting off with a quiet sputter. There was a pause before either of us moved as if we were both trying to figure out what came next.

Elias turned to me, his gaze soft, but his eyes still had an edge of uncertainty. He looked satiated, if not a little tired and somewhat boyish. His strawberry blond hair was tussled, the perfect edges sticking out in a messy bedhead look. His lips were swollen from my kisses, and his eyes were unsteady, seeming to avoid the church altogether.

“You…you want to clean up? I can get you some clothes if you need them.”

I nodded, suddenly feeling self-conscious in a way I hadn’t before. Did he want to wash me away? Something about being in his church after what had just happened, after the intimacy we’d shared, felt almost sacred. But also too exposed. I wasn’t sure where my body ended, and his fucking began anymore.

“Yeah. I’ll clean up, Elias. I don’t know what to say to you right now. But I’m here. I will help you wash up If you allow me to, or I can give you space.”

He gave me a small, understanding smile, opened his door, and stepped out into the cool air. I followed his lead, pushing the door open and stepping into the night. The silence wrapped around us like a thick fog as we walked toward the church’s entrance.

The wooden doors creaked open, revealing the dim, peaceful sanctuary inside. The smell of incense and old wood filled the air as the candles’ flames danced around the massive wooden rood tree in the center.

Inside, Elias led me to a small room in the back of the church, a private area he’d always used when he needed to be alone. The small bathroom inside was simple—just a shower, a sink, and a towel rack.

He paused in the doorway, his eyes lingering on me for a moment longer than necessary, and I caught the flicker of something in his gaze. Something tender, almost fragile. But before I could dwell on it, he nodded toward the shower.

“Why don’t we just take turns for now?” he said quietly, his voice laced with something deeper. Something I couldn’t quite understand. “Take your time.”

I nodded, accepting that he needed some space to process our sins, especially when he was forced to stare at the weight of that heavy cross in the sanctuary. I stepped inside the bathroom, closing the door softly behind me.

The shower was cool, and I let the water run over my skin, the warmth slowly sinking into my muscles, calming the tension. I couldn’t stop thinking about Elias, about everything we’d just shared. His cock, his come, his ass. Everything about the fact that we had crossed a line that felt impossible to uncross. And knowing I didn’t want to.

I just hoped that being back here inside these walls wouldn’t make him realize he made a mistake. If he left me now, I would truly shatter.