Page 5

Three weeks. That's how long I'd been in my head about Kroven's last appointment with me and he hadn't returned to the center since. If I didn't think I'd done something to upset him before, I sure as shit did now. I knew he needed the blood to live, so clearly, he'd started going to another blood center. Did I really upset Kroven that much? Had I truly upset him to the point that he could no longer handle seeing my face at the center and instead of asking for a different handler, he'd completely relocated his appointments elsewhere?

It was making me feel like shit, despite still thinking that our last encounter had been fairly amicable. It had even been a little flirty, or so I thought. Now I was second guessing everything. Making matters worse, I cared. I cared that he'd gone somewhere else. I couldn't talk to anyone about it either. Thayer didn't even know I was having indecent thoughts about an Orb, let alone getting hung up on the fact that one had skipped out on wanting to work with me at the center. There was no way I could bring this up to him. Part of me didn't want to even if I could.

Thayer knew something had happened because I'd been very quiet and to myself in the weeks that passed. He’d poked and prodded about what was bothering me repeatedly when we’d share dinner at the apartment, to limited explanations and outright denials. I didn't know what to say. I only knew that I needed to get the fuck over myself. Kroven had decided that I was too much to handle and that was fine. It should've been fine, anyway, and I needed to really work on letting go of it.

I was so desperate to be better and to move past the weird situation, that I somehow let Thayer convince me to go out to the nightclub down the street from the blood center that Friday night, just like he’d wanted around the time I’d started working in the Orb wing. It was a lavish "everyone's welcome" type of club, which meant Orbs were welcome to mingle with humans if they liked. I was surprised when Thayer said he had the night off in order for both of us to go out together to enjoy everything that Gossamer had to offer.

Which is how I ended up in an electric yellow mesh t-shirt and my tightest pair of jeans, staring up at a pink and blue neon sign that told us the club was indeed named Gossamer. Once the bouncer checked our IDs and let us through the doors, I was having immediate regrets.

“Thayer, maybe this is a bad idea.” I pulled on the hold he held on my arm but he kept a firm grip and proceeded in dragging me down the hallway that we walked down before we would enter the main hub of the dance floor. The hallway was draped in dark velvet and the carpet was laid to match. Neon lights hummed above us and on the walls, various colors bouncing off our skin in a pleasant cadence while the thump thump of dance music was muffled by the large door at the end of the hallway.

Thayer spun around, still holding onto me as he made a smirk appear on his face.

“This isn't a bad idea. You've been in a slump lately. And maybe you don't want to tell me what's it about and you don't have to. Get drunk. Dance with a stranger. Or just vibe with me all night and forget about whatever the hell it is and have some fun.”

The eagerness in his voice struck me wholeheartedly. Thayer really hadn't come to Gossamer to meet someone for himself or to get plastered. He did this for me . He really cared about me in a way that no one ever had and the thought brought tears to my eyes. I made sure to usher them back to their respective homes in my tear ducts and gave Thayer a nod.

“Alright, let's go.”

Thayer nodded and reached for the door. When he opened it, a wave of music crashed against us and I let Thayer lead me by the hand into the sea of people that took up the dance floor. There were two bars where people could order drinks, one in the back and one immediately to the right past the door we came through. A small stage was to the left, inset so that it didn't take up any room away from the open dance floor. Lights of every color decorated the ceiling in various shapes and sizes, beaming down on the already crowded herd of dancers. I noticed that it was a decent mix of humans and Orbs. I'd never experienced anything like seeing the coming together of ‘beings from the other realm’ and humans like this. It was a beautiful thing to witness and if I let myself think about it too much, I knew tears would tango from my eyelids.

By the time I ordered my third tequila sunrise, I was already done for. I was a lightweight when it came to alcohol long before this and I couldn't even remember the last time I'd drank, so it hit me really hard. But it felt so nice to not feel visibly stressed. To not think about anything but what was presently and physically in front of me.

I'd decided not to actively pursue someone to dance with, or anything else beyond that. I was just dancing with Thayer and occasionally someone would dance really close to one of us and want some attention, which we gave with flippant smiles and exuberant openness. Some of the guys that came up to me were quite attractive and I could've really seen myself getting more involved with several of them. Every time I thought about grinding up against them more obviously, my mind drifted back to Kroven.

Why? Why the hell could I not get this guy, this Orb, off my mind? Nothing had even happened between us, not really, and it was maddening that my body and mind seemed to tell me otherwise. Even if Kroven did think of me as more than just his handler at the center, we couldn't have any sort of relationship together. I was a human and he was a sangamar. An other realm being. If a miracle transpired and we both had a mutual attraction to each other, it would never be accepted from the rest of society. Humans and Orbs didn't mix. Sure, people knew that Orbs existed. People thought Orbs deserved the same rights we did, save a few outlying groups. For the most part, Orbs were treated just as well as humans. Being in an interspecies relationship? It was unheard of.

Thayer walked, or rather stumbled with focus, over to me with another tequila sunrise that I took with gratitude. I couldn't remember if this was my fifth or sixth now and I didn't care. I was feeling really good and I didn't want that feeling to leave me anytime soon. I was dancing with Thayer and a really cute guy that seemed intent on going home with both of us when I spotted a flash of blond hair by the second bar in the corner. My heart sank and I stopped dancing like it was second nature.

It was Kroven.

He threw his head back as he rolled with laughter with a mixed group of humans and other Orbs of varying species. I didn't really have the focus to take in the other Orbs. All I could see was Kroven. And I was just the perfect level of drunk off my ass to accost Kroven without fearing the pulse of anxiety that would normally stop me from doing so .

Thayer stopped dancing as he noticed my immobilization, the guy that was vying for our attention rolling his eyes and leaving us alone.

“What's wrong?”

“Nothing,” I slurred. “I’ll be right back.”

I left the dancing area before Thayer could argue with me or beg to come with me so I stayed safe. Honestly, I probably should have had Thayer by my side. I was surrounded by unknown humans and unknown Orbs in a place I'd never been before. There was a very detailed lists of bad things that could happen to me but the alcohol was fueling my bravery and I was determined to use it all on Kroven before it ran out.

Making my way through the various groups of people, I wormed a path straight for him in the corner by the bar. A wave of hilarity hit the group of people by him, a smile gliding along his face until I was standing directly in front of him and his face soured in a plummeting downfall.

“Bas?” Kroven elevated his voice so that I could hear it over the music and people. “What are you doing here?”

“Trying to have a good time.” I didn't sound the most eloquent but I soldiered on. “I really need to talk to you. Can we go somewhere quieter?”

He shook his head. “I don't think that's a good idea.”

“Why? Because your friends will have to hear about how shitty you treated me?” I knew I had no right to be as angry as I was. Kroven didn't owe me anything, I knew that. The tequila was taking over and I was happy to let it. “Fine, we can talk here then.”

The people with him dispersed away from us, probably because they were getting the sense that drama was about to ensue and they wanted absolutely no part in it. Which left Kroven and I with a little corner by the bar to ourselves, with minimal people around .

Kroven sighed. “Firstly, I didn't come here with friends. I just met these people.”

“I don't care.” I snuffed, but my reaction totally said otherwise and I'd chastised myself in the morning about it.

“Secondly,” Kroven kept going as if I hadn't just made a fool out of myself. “I really don't think this is appropriate.”

“I don't care if it's appropriate.” I shuffled forward, closer to him so he could hear me better. Or there was a part of me that wanted to be closer to him despite how irate I was. “I want you to be man enough to tell me why you stopped coming to the center after…” I stopped myself. After I thought you were going to kiss me . I couldn't say it. The last time he'd been at the center, there’d been that moment where Kroven had leaned in after our conversation and I was convinced he'd wanted to kiss me. Then he had fled the center without saying much else and proceeded to skip out on coming to the center for over three weeks now, clearly going to a different center to tend to his craving.

Why was it bothering me so fucking much that this Orb who had yet to express interest in me had dipped out on getting his consumption needs from the blood center I worked at? Why the hell did it matter to me?

Because you like him . I couldn't deny it anymore. Whatever the reason, it didn't matter. I liked Kroven. I was attracted to him beyond all the shit I'd gone through in the past, beyond all the societal bullshit that waited for me, for us, on the other side of figuring out what was going on here. I just liked him.

“You're drunk. If you want to talk later, maybe—”

“Did I do something wrong the last time you came to the center?” Ignoring him, I finally asked him the question that had been burning me from the inside out the past couple of weeks. “If I did, I'm sorry, but I need you to tell me what I did because I've gone over and over it in my head and I can't think of what I could've done for you to flee like that and then not come back.”

The music thumped loudly around as is transitioned to a different song and I watched the colored lights transform over Kroven's face as he went from alert to what looked like sorrow. He ran a hand through his choppy blond hair, reminding me of Thayer's nervous tick. Why the hell would Kroven be nervous?

“No, Bas, you didn't do anything wrong.”

"Then why did you leave like that?" I said with too much pain in my voice. I didn't want Kroven to think that I'd been heartbroken about him leaving the center without telling me. Then again, I had sort of been acting like a lovesick teenager about it without a justifiable reason. I just wanted some answers. "Why did you start going to a different blood center? I thought we had a decent camaraderie between us. I thought you liked me.”

“That's the problem!” Kroven said with frustration, his red eyes flaring. Clearly he'd drank earlier enough to be able to see everything around him at the moment. He looked so serious as he looked down at me. He inched closer to me and I felt my chest heave. We were so close now, closer than we'd ever been to each other, and my body was starting to rumble with heat.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“The reason I left the center that day, the reason I haven't been back since.” Kroven nodded. “Is because despite my better judgment on what is and isn't right in either of our worlds," Kroven stared at me with such intensity, it felt like I could get high from it. The last thing I needed right now was to be crossfaded, so I just stood there and gulped down the lump forming in my throat. “I started feeling...I was becoming attracted to you.”

There it was. The hope that Kroven might feel the something forming between us being fully realized made my body fill with electricity, and we stared at each other for what felt like eons. In that moment, I didn't care that we were in a room full of humans and Orbs. I didn't care that society would see the two of us together as an abomination. I didn't care at all. All I cared about was that Kroven had felt the same something that I did. And I wanted to make sure that he knew as such.

I didn't think, for once, I just let my body react. So I leaned forward, grabbed his face with both of my hands and pulled him into a kiss. Our lips crashed together in a pulsing wave, my entire body going warm with intense need and want, the desire to feel Kroven closer to me now that I knew that he saw me. He saw me as desirable and I saw him as attainable. I was afraid he wouldn't register what was happening but when I felt his hands go to my hips, pulling me into him, I smiled into our furthering kiss.

We kept kissing, shifting our mouths and Kroven started to open his mouth a bit to playfully bite my lips, a surge of pleasure going straight to my dick when one of his fangs applied pressure to my lower lip. I could feel something hard against my thigh and it made me even harder knowing that I was giving this kind of reaction to Kroven. I felt his tongue sliding over mine, that long purple tongue that felt textured in a way that made me wonder what else on Kroven's body could be different than a human's. I wanted the chance to find out, so painfully hard at the contact between us that my cock was throbbing from the denim prison of my too tight jeans.

All too suddenly, Kroven pulled back and ended our kiss. I looked at him with longing in my eyes. A smile curled his lips and I could feel the stares from people who had just witness a human and an Orb making out pretty heavily. It hit me all of the sudden what I’d just done. I'd made out with Kroven. A patient of mine. Or was he technically a former patient? Moreover, I was drunk as fuck. I didn't want Kroven like this, when I was too wrapped up in the safety blanket that alcohol had given me to properly express myself to him. I saw his mouth quiver to tell me something but I was becoming too aware of the situation and I beat him too it.

“Kroven, I-I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have— ”

“No, it's okay, I just—”

“I have to go,” I said in a whisper, clearing my throat so I could amp up my voice. “I’m sorry, but I have to go.”

Fleeing, I made my way back through the aimless dancers and drunk mix of everyone enjoying everything the club offered at a reasonable rate and found Thayer dancing with a very attractive woman with red hair. When he saw me, he broke apart from her a bit.

“Where did you go?”

“Can we leave?” I said in a desperate too-loud tone. “I really need to go.”

“What happened?” He stopped dancing and the redhead looked between us in annoyance.

“Thayer, I really wanna go.”

My voice cracked as I pleaded, overstimulated from what had just occurred with Kroven that I needed the safety of being anywhere else but at the club. He nodded and the woman with him scoffed.

“Are you serious?” She recoiled, but Thayer just shrugged his shoulders and apologized. She rolled her eyes and disappeared into the sea of dancers.

Thayer grabbed my hand and lead my back toward the entrance. I felt something wet on my face, thinking that someone had spilled some of their drink on me. I didn't realize that it was because I was crying until we were back in the hallway.

My head flooded with emotions, and I started hiding my face in my free hand as I openly sobbed, not wanting the people trying to get into the club to see what an awful wreck I was.

I needed to forget and I just wanted to go home.