Page 25

Chapter 25

Reggy

S eeing him so still, I frantically tried to remember something—anything—about CPR, and my mind drew a blank. What did the acronym even stand for? Fuck. I was going to lose him. Had I already lost him? My throat tightened, my heart pounded hard within my body, and my hand clutched my chest. I shook my head. I didn’t care about what happened to me. I could not lose him. I had to do something.

Check for a pulse.

My fingertips frantically searched his jawline for the right spot on his neck where a pulse should be.

Shit!

Shit!

Shit!

I didn’t feel anything. I wasn’t doing it right. I had to be doing it wrong. I didn’t feel a pulse. He had to have one. This wasn’t happening.

I hysterically sobbed and begged the universe, “Please! I can’t lose him! Mordicus!” I screamed at him while my fingers trembled, checking the other side of his neck. I remembered tiny things that I didn’t understand that Mordy had said to me since we met. At the time, they did not seem to hold much weight or intention, but they meant so much at this moment. His words were insignificant when he said them, but now, they were everything. I hated myself for not seeing him—really seeing him—for the person he truly was.

“My head isn’t above water! You have to come back; I don’t know how to do this without you. I’m too close to the sun, Mordicus!” I wailed even harder, laying my head on his still chest.

“I love you, Icarus,” I whispered the name that only he would understand against his shirt, but he didn’t answer.

The gut-wrenching pain that coursed so heavily throughout my body was worse than anything I had ever experienced. I sobbed, my fists pounding against his chest. My stomach churned, and I shot up dry heaving, and my hand cupped over my mouth. I was going to be sick.

Lup. Dup. Lup. Dup.

The half of my heart that beat only for him died right then and there.

Lup.

Lup.

Lup.

Stone said something, but I couldn’t hear him over the sound of my dying heart. His voice raised higher, and my sobs drowned him out.