Page 160 of Beautifully Ruined

Chapter Thirty

VIOLET

The guilt eats at me,worse than I’d ever have thought.

After all, I know I’m doing the right thing.

I sit in the back of the cab as we wait at the lights in Manhattan. The USB and burner phone I swiped from Cade—it’s amazing all the stuff he has—are in my hands. He thinks I’m with Lia, but after going for a walk and heading to his place, I…I came to a conclusion.

I have to act.

Without him, without Macy. I can’t get her into trouble, besides…what if Cade has somehow gone to her, and told her not to help me?

What am I thinking? He doesn’t need to physically go to her. He’s The Ghost. He could reach out anonymously, hack her, threaten her if he wanted. Because while he’s not the kind of guy who threatens women, he’s got it in him. He can be scary. And he wields great power through his skills.

And he’d threaten anyone if it was to keep me safe.

Anyone at all.

I take a breath, a little warm in my coat. But no way was I leaving his place in what I’m wearing. On my wrist is the get into the club card…the bracelet.

All I need to do is get in, talk to Thomas about training to work in the club. My excuse is legit, too. I’m a student. I’ve got debts, and no one’s paying those off other than me.

I know I can do this.

I can plant the USB. Listening around corners and absorbing information when others talk in front of me is a skill that’s handy in the political world. I just never knew it could be handy elsewhere. At least not in this way.

And add in some videos on top of the information I got by listening to Cade…turns out YouTube can really teach you everything.

I’m confident I can do this.

We pull up half a block away, because I intend to walk the rest of the way.

I pay the driver and then I get out, standing on the pavement in the night air, making myself breathe slow and steady.

Thing is, I did think of going to Cade, telling him I’m not really a toy or a thing to control. Tell him I’m going to do this no matter what he says.

But again, he’s got a dark side he plays with in his fantasies, but it’s a side that knows all kinds of criminals, the kind that ends up getting me kidnapped by the Russian mafia. Okay, that was Isaac’s fault, I guess, but Cade is entrenched with that stuff.

He’s The goddamned Ghost.

He’s not afraid to pull punches.

While I wouldn’t put it past him scaring anyone into not helping me, I also wouldn’t put it past him tying me up and leaving me somewhere. He could say no in that very physical, very definite way.

It’s much better to just do this and then seek forgiveness after.

I’m not going to seek permission again.

Why should I? I’m an adult, for crying out loud.

Adrenaline and righteousness pump through me, and it’s enough to both give me the right kind of edge I need and drive to ask Thomas.

If he’s in.

He will be. I’m betting he’s always there, at least for a few minutes. I get the feeling that club is his baby. It brings him prestige.

It’s clearly early when I arrive at the nondescript door. The hostess tonight is in tight shiny silver and with white-blonde hair and sky-high purple vamp shoes.