Page 154 of Beautifully Ruined

Cade is tied up in protecting me when I can do that myself. Thomas likes me, I’ve seen how he looks at me, and I’m thinking he’ll let me see the workings of the training center to scare me into his arms, his protection, his lair. I can work that. Do that, play on that and then when things are planted for Cade, walk away.

Besides, I’m safe. I’ve got Cade. And Gianna has no one.

My only concern is finding her before it’s too late.

“Okay, I won’t.”Do anything stupid,I say silently. “But I think I want to spend tonight at my place.”

“Vi?”

But I turn my back on him and pick up my bag and before I can stop myself or let him stop me, I walk out the door.

Since my placeis wired for sight but not sound, I call Macy before I get in the door. “Hey, you want to meet for a drink and maybe a bite? I want to ask you some things about the job.”

“Which one?”

“Which do you think?”

And then I go home, change and head out, trying not to think of Cade at all.

The cute little bar I’m meeting Macy at is quiet, a neighborhood place that has snacks. It’s perfect.

I switch off my phone before I leave my apartment, texting her that my phone is going to die.

And the thing with going home is it feels strange, like it isn’t mine anymore.

Cade is home, and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not.

It hasn’t been that long, when I think about it. And what does it make me, jumping from one brother to the next? Maybe I need to be single. Maybe…

But my heart hurts when I think about not seeing him on a daily basis.

He makes me fly. He makes me so damn angry and turned on with all this. Angry he’s trying to control me and the situation, angry he doesn’t want to listen hard enough to see my point of view, and turned on for the same exact reasons. Because him not wanting to listen hard enough is him trying to protect me.

I take a sip of my wine, listening to the latest pop music playing, I don’t really know the artist, but I’ve heard the song enough I can sing along with her about love lost and heartache.

“Sorry, I’m late.” Macy rushes up, side-speaking some of the people drinking and having fun. And I wave a hand as she sits.

“You’re not. What do you want to drink?”

She looks around like she’s judging the place but picks up the menu. I do, too.

The waitress comes over, and Macy orders the second most expensive glass of white, olives, and a cheese platter. I get fries.

We saw each other at work, so it’s clear what this is about. Like I told her on the phone, I want to know more.

And I do. Actually, beyond all this, I’m curious. It’s not something I want, and I’m not totally convinced by the whole sex training that Cade’s talking about in his efforts to turn me off the idea of trying to get in, but yeah, I’m curious. Who wouldn’t be?

We chat about our day job and when the food and her wine arrive, she takes a sip, puts some cheese on an artisan cracker and says, “So, what is it you want to know?”

“Does your offer still stand?”

“Of course. Are you thinking of a job or…?”

I take a breath, and if I continue there’s no going back. But I need to take at least some risk if I’m going to try and help save Gianna.

Some nights I can hear her voice, how lost she was. And it kills me.

I’ve been trying to bury it, but since Enzo telling us Walsh is involved…I can’t.