Page 60 of Beautiful Trauma

I couldn’t allow that. Even without the things I’d done to him, Kellan deserved better than me. I wasn’t just broken–I was ruined.

He deserved a woman with a heart that mirrored his own. An angel among women with a tender heart and sweet soul. Someone I would never be.

I knew what I had to do.

When the bathroom door opened, a cloud of steam enveloped Kellan as he stepped into the bedroom. I shut my eyes and pretended to be asleep. But a knock at the door sent me shooting up in bed. When my frantic gaze met Kellan’s, he put a finger to his lips.

With a nod, I watched as he grabbed his gun off the nightstand before heading to the door. Slowly, he peeled back the curtain on the window to peek at who was outside.

When his tense shoulders relaxed, I sighed in relief. “It’s the food delivery.”

After unlocking the door, he kept his gun at his side. “Thanks,” he said as he took three bags into his arms. Once the delivery guy left, Kellan closed and locked the door.

As I rubbed my hand over the tightness in my chest, I tracked Kellan’s movements. After depositing the bags on a decrepit-looking table in the corner of the room, he dug around inside. He produced a round container before coming towards the bed.

“I thought you might be hungry.”

Although I was starving, I turned my nose up at him. “I don’t want anything from you.

Surprise flashed in his blue eyes at my words and tone. A few agonizing seconds passed before he gave me an imploring look. “You need to eat.”

When I merely stared him down, he came around the side of the bed. “Since I imagined your throat might be hurting, I ordered you some soup.”

My heart fluttered wildly at his concern. But I quickly buried it. I couldn’t give in to my feelings. I couldn’t bear to bring Kellan further into the complicated mess that was my life. I needed him to hate me, so he could walk away.

When I gripped the bowl, a pleased expression came over Kellan’s face. But then I slammed my hand into it, sending an arch of scaling hot soup onto his abdomen and crotch.

“Fuck you and your pity soup!”

At Kellan’s sharp intake of breath, I braced myself for him to hit me. I willed him to do it. Hating him was so much easier than the feelings of gratitude and longing that filled my chest.

But to my surprise, he didn’t. Without another word to me, he began furiously unbuttoning his shirt as he power-walked into the bathroom. He didn’t even slam the door.

God, he was a saint.

And I was the devil who had tempted and destroyed him.

With that thought, I secured the sheet I was wearing tightly around me. Then I rose off the bed and stomped over to the bathroom. When I flung open the door, Kellan stood shirtless at the sink. Although I shouldn’t have, I winced at the angry red welts covering his skin from the soup.

But instead of offering sympathy, I went straight for the jugular. “I want you to leave.”

His reflection locked with mine in the mirror. “Excuse me?”

Throwing up my hands, I replied, “How plain do I have to make it? I don’t want to be around you.”

Slowly, he turned around to face me. “You know I can’t leave.”

With a roll of my eyes, I huffed, “You don’t have to worry that I’m going to hang myself with the bedsheets.”

“I can’t take a risk with your safety.”

“You honestly think your family is going to track us down here?”

“Considering I just kidnapped the woman my cousin planned to marry, I wouldn’t put anything past him. Not to mention how I denied him the punishment he wanted to give you. The Byrnes are a powerful family not only in Dublin, but throughout the republic.”

“Fine. Give me your phone, and I’ll call my father. He’ll send someone for me.”

Kellan stared down at the bathroom tile. “I’ve made him aware of the situation.”