Page 46 of Beautiful Trauma

Switching to Russian, he said, “Da.”

The moment was interrupted by Dima’s phone. When Dima glanced at his screen, he grimaced.

“Speak of the devil?” I teasingly asked.

“Unfortunately.”After bringing the phone to his ear, he said, “Yes, Father?

While my father rattled on, I went over to the cabinet to grab a plate for Dima. I’d started back over to the stove when Dima said, “Good. I’ll clear my schedule for tomorrow at two.”

When I cocked my brows at him, he mouthed, "Meeting’s set.”

I didn’t have to ask who the meeting was with. My stomach twisted at the reference to Kellan and his family. Although Ishould’ve felt pride that the mission and my intel had been a success. But I didn’t. A sickening regret was the only true emotion I felt.

When Dima sucked in a harsh breath, anxiety rippled through me. “Not Annika?” After a beat, he replied, “Yeah, I’m with her now.”

I gripped the plate in my hand tighter as Dima grimaced. “Is that necessary?”

Nausea twisted my stomach at my father referencing me. “No, I’m not questioning your authority. I just don’t feel she has anything to do with the matter anymore and doesn’t need to be there.”

Pinching my eyes shut, I shook my head. No. This couldn’t be happening. Father couldn’t possibly ask that of me. He’d already gotten what he wanted from me.

I knew when it came down to it, there was no way I could survive being in a room again with Kellan.

With a ragged breath, Dima replied, “All right. I’ll tell her.”

When I opened my eyes, remorse filled Dima’s. As my emotions overcame me, I slammed the plate to the ground, sending pieces shattering across the hardwood. “No!”

Instead of chiding me for going off the rails, he sighed. “I’m sorry.”

Shaking my head maniacally, I cried, “I’m not doing it!”

“Mila–”

“Fuck him and fuck you!”

“It’s just a meeting,” he tried reasoning.

“Which I have no business being at,” I challenged.

Dima sighed. “Father sees it differently. You’re a means for him to rub salt in their wound since you were able to outsmart them. You know how important appearances are to him.”

As I tried to regulate my emotions, I inhaled a harsh breath through my nose. “This isn’t about not wanting to do his bidding.”

“I know,” he murmured.

I cocked my brows at him. “You do?”

The corners of his lip quirked. “I know you almost as well as I know myself,zaika.”

“And?” I prompted.

“You feel bad for what you had to do to Kellan.” He shook his head. “But you shouldn’t.” When I started to argue, he replied, “You didn’t have a choice.”

“It’s still wrong.”

“So is everything in our world.”

I exhaled a ragged breath. “How do you live with yourself?”