Page 47

DAVINA

My phone buzzed on the kitchen counter as I dunked a tea bag into a porcelain mug. I gave it a glance, not surprised to see Deke’s name on the screen.

“Is that him again?” Tish asked from the living room. Her eyes were glued to the TV, her hand deep in a bowl of popcorn as a reality show streamed.

“Yep,” I muttered, picking up my mug and phone and carrying it with me to the living room.

“You’re gonna have to answer one day, Vina,” she said, still staring at the TV. “Oh! I knew that girl was lying! She was all over Darrell in the last season!” She pointed at the TV, and I huffed a laugh as a woman with red hair commentated.

As I settled onto the couch and sipped my tea, my phone rang once again. I sighed. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to talk to Deke, I just wasn’t sure what to say to him or what the hell to even ask.

What’ll happen when you’re tired of me too? Will you toss me to the side like trash? Pretend I never existed?

I knew one day our fling would end, but that didn’t mean it’d be on good terms ... and that’s probably what was scaring me about this whole agreement. Deke seemed like a great man, but the way he handled his relationships with women, sex buddies or not, seemed completely unhealthy. My heart couldn’t handle being scarred again, especially not while it was still in the process of healing.

Frankly, I was afraid that if I asked anything about it, he’d give the wrong answer and I’d have no choice but to look at him differently. I’d be disappointed in a person I thought was making my life better.

“Girl, just answer the phone,” Tish insisted, finally putting her attention on me.

“I don’t know what to say to him, Tish.”

“Don’t say anything. Just answer and let him do all the talking.” Her shoulders hiked up, nearly touching her earlobes. “That’s what I do to Lorenzo when he’s pissed me off.”

“That sounds very immature,” I laughed.

“Who cares? It works.” She winked at me before climbing off the recliner, with the popcorn. “I’ll get the face masks.” Right. Because we’d rescheduled our self-care Sunday to a self-care Thursday ... all because I was still in a hotel with Deke and tangled between his legs.

Ugh.

I swiped the Answer button and put it on speakerphone. “What is it, Deke?”

“Davina,” he said with way more enthusiasm than I expected. “Finally. I, um ... I’ve been calling you for days.”

“I know.” I sipped my tea and cut my eyes to Tish, who was ripping a pink face mask packet open while fighting a smile.

“Listen, I’m sorry about Giselle. If I’d known she would come to you, I would’ve warned you, D.” Hearing him call me that one letter made my heart stutter. I couldn’t stand that he had this effect on me, this strong hold that made me feel like I was important. He continued when I didn’t say anything. “What all did she say to you?”

I let my head tilt back a bit so I could look at the flat ceiling. “Not much. Just that you’re a manipulator who’ll most likely hurt me when you’re ready to dispose of me.” Okay, so maybe those weren’t her words exactly, but that’s how I digested them. “I don’t take any of it personally, Deke. You’re a famous person who is surrounded by temptations and opportunities. I know what we have going on is just fun to you. That’s all we agreed to, right? So whenever this thing between us loses its appeal, just promise me you’ll handle it gently.”

“No—Davina, listen.” He released an exasperated sigh. I could hear basketballs dribbling in the background. Was he practicing but took a break to call me? To check on me? I tried not to melt at the thought. “Just give me the chance to explain everything, all right? Let me prove to you that I do care and that I’m not using you. Let me show you that I’m not just wasting your time. Come to the lake house tomorrow. I’ll email you the details, and I’ll wait for you there.”

“Deke, I can’t go to that lake house with you.”

“Why not, Davina?”

I swung my head to Tish, searching for a cop-out, but she simply sipped her tea and raised her free hand, refusing to intervene.

When I didn’t say anything, Deke spoke again.

“See? You have no reason not to. You know me, D. You know deep in your heart that I would never hurt you. We’ve got a good thing going. Don’t let Giselle fuck it up.”

I swallowed and lowered my gaze to my lap.

“I’m tired of pretending we’re these surface-level friends who don’t know each other. Let me prove to you that I’m not a flake, that I’m not someone who’ll abandon you. Just give me that chance, Davina, and I promise I’ll make it worth it.”

Still, I didn’t say much. I closed my eyes for a moment, feeling an unexpected tug in my belly. A tug of hope.

“Look, we don’t have to get all deep at the lake house,” he said in a huskier voice. “I know you’re not ready for that—I can sense it—but you can’t deny that you like being around me, D. And I know you can’t because I like being around you.” The tugging was stronger. I adjusted on the sofa, trying to get rid of the feeling. “But I also get why you wouldn’t trust my word after hearing that firsthand from Giselle and with my reputation, so we’ll keep it simple. A few days ago, you asked me how long I thought this would go on for. Well, we can figure it out this weekend. If you decide by the time the weekend is over that you want to walk away from it, I’ll respect it. You won’t have to worry about me hurting you, lying to you, or any of that other shit. We’ll walk away and be done with it in a cordial way. I’ll stop calling, stop texting, stop emailing. It’ll remain strictly professional, but that’s only if you give me a chance this weekend.”

“Deke . . .”

“Think about it before you answer.”

I placed my tea on the coffee table to run my palm over my sweatpants. “Okay. I’ll think about it.”

“Cool. Just let me know.”

I hung up before any more seconds ticked by. If I’d stayed on the phone with him, I probably would’ve cried. I felt so bad for ignoring him, knowing he was stressing himself out and worried sick.

But how could I answer after hearing that from Giselle? Because I’ll be honest, other than knowing Deke was a professional NBA player, that he had two sisters and a dog, and that he’d lost a brother at a young age, I didn’t know much else about him.

I didn’t know what was beneath the exterior, if he had a temper, if he lied to and used women he wanted—like me and Giselle—just to satisfy some black hole within himself that could never be filled. Not that I believed everything Giselle said, but still. There had to be some truth to it, no? You never really know a person, and with Deke, there was only one way to find out who he really was.

“You know you have to go, right?” Tish asked, carrying the face masks into the living room.

I dragged a hand down my cheek. “Why should I?”

Tish sat in the recliner again. “Because you like him, I can tell. And it’s been clear from the beginning that he likes your ass too. Y’all aren’t just fuck-buddies anymore. I sense something deeper.”

“ Deeper how?” I asked to entertain her.

“Davina, be real. If you were only in it for the sex, you wouldn’t have been so upset about the Giselle thing. It wouldn’t have mattered what she said if you were only in it for the D.”

“I don’t believe that. There may be no strings attached, but I still expect a little respect. This is probably just a phase for him, Tish. Like he said, we can have this weekend to get it out of our systems and then we can move on.” I waved a dismissive hand. “No point in prolonging the inevitable.”

“And what, pray tell, is the inevitable?”

“What we have, Tish. This thing between me and Deke has only ever been physical. It’ll never reach a level deeper than that for us, and frankly, I’m fine with that because I don’t want more. Yes, I want to live my life, but settling down and falling for someone again is not in the plans. I just ... I don’t think I can do that to myself again.”

Suddenly, all I could think about was Lewis. He had my all. I invested so much into our relationship and gave him every ounce of love I had.

I wasn’t sure I had it in me to give it to another ... or maybe I was just too much of a chicken to find out if it was possible.