Page 26 of Beastkin

Karrick’s arms tightened around me protectively. “I know,” he murmured, his deep voice vibrating through his chest. “I know, and I’m so fucking sorry, Phoenix.”

More memories crashed over me in waves. The way he used to carry me on his back through the forest when I got tired. How he’d patiently teach me to skip stones while I helped him practice human speech in his shifted form. The promises we’d made to always be friends, to never leave each other. The absolute devastation on his face when my parents dragged me away, his roars of anguish echoing through the trees.

“You tried to follow us,” I gasped, the memory so vivid it felt like it was happening again. “You ran after the car.”

“I… I tried to forget,” he confirmed quietly. “I convinced myself it never happened.”

I pulled back to look at his face, seeing past the bestial features to the boy I’d loved so fiercely. Because that’s what it had been, wasn’t it? Love in its purest form, innocent and all-consuming.

“I never wanted to leave you,” I said, my hands fisting in his fur. “They forced me. They held me down while they—” My voice broke. “While they stole you from my mind.”

Professor Blackwood approached cautiously, her expression softer than I’d ever seen it. “The trauma of having memories forcibly removed is severe,” she said gently. “Especially at such a young age. Your parents committed a form of magical assault that would have them imprisoned by the Elder Council.”

Rage flared in my chest, hot and wild. The candles around the room suddenly blazed higher, responding to my emotional state. “They said it was for my own good,” I snarled. “They said monsters would corrupt me, turn me against my own kind.”

“You were never corrupted,” Karrick said firmly, his clawed hand coming up to cup my face. “You were the bravest, kindest person I’d ever met. You saw past what I was to who I was.”

I leaned into his touch, marveling at how right it felt, how perfectly my face fit in his palm despite the size difference. “I missed you so much, Karrick,” I said, knowing I felt a whole lot more than that. But the emotions were already too overwhelming. It was hard to decide what was real and what was just the rush of magic flowing through me. “I thought I’d never see you again.”

“Well, I’m here now,” he smiled, his tusks showing proudly. “And we’re gonna pick up right where we left off, alright? I’m still your best friend, if you’ll have me?”

I didn’t need to think twice about that. “Of course you are,” I replied, throwing my arms around him once more. Then, suddenly remembering, I reached into my breast pocket and withdrew a crumpled photograph with frayed edges of two young boys. I held it up to Karrick. “I think… I think youalwayshave been.”

Karrick’s eyes misted over as his arms wrapped around me, holding me tight once more. There was a warmth growing in my belly, something that had nothing to do with friendship. But it was there, burning away like a flame that I couldn’t put out. This Beastkin was more than just a friend to me, of that, I was sure. Even without memories I’d kept his photograph for years, not knowing who it was. Obviously there was more than just friendship there. But for all the miracles of the day so far, there was still one question left unanswered.

Was I more than just a friend to him?

Chapter 11

Karrick

I’d been buzzing all night long. So much that I couldn’t get a wink of sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Phoenix in my mind’s eye, radiant and glowing like the boy I’d known in my childhood. But he was no longer a boy. Now he was a man, one with a chiseled jaw, adorably tousled hair, and a pair of flaming eyes that saw right through me. Well, not literally. Because if he actually could see what I was feeling, there would’ve been a lot more questions.

And most of them were from myselftomyself.

Up until that moment Phoenix got his memory back last night, I only ever thought about women when it came to any sexual or romantic desires. But now that had changed. And I was more confused and terrified than ever.

All I could think about was the way Phoenix had felt in my arms, warm and solid and real. The way his hands had fisted in my fur like he never wanted to let go. The trust in his eyes when he’d looked at me, the same absolute faith he’d shown as a child, but now there was something else there too. Something that made my chest tight and my pulse race in ways that had nothing to do with friendship.

I rolled over in my narrow dorm bed for what felt like thehundredth time, burying my face in my pillow with a frustrated growl. Thankfully I had a private room this year, which meant I could pace and mutter to myself without having to explain why I was acting like a caged animal.

Because that’s exactly how I felt. Caged by my own confusion, my own fear of what these new feelings meant.

I’d had crushes before. Sarah Frampton, a selkie I knew in high school, with her long blonde hair and easy smile. Rebecca Torres, the human girl who’d worked at the coffee shop near campus before the attack. I knew what attraction felt like, or at least I thought I did. This thing with Phoenix was different. Bigger. More consuming. And far more heated.

Maybe it was just the intensity of getting him back, I told myself as I sat up and scrubbed my hands through my dark fur. Maybe my emotions were just scrambled from everything that had happened. The memory modification, the ritual, seeing him break down in my arms as his stolen memories returned. It would be natural for me to feel protective, possessive even. We’d been best friends. I’d lost him once already.

But that didn’t explain the way my skin had burned everywhere he’d touched me. The way I’d wanted to bury my face in his hair and breathe him in. The way I’d had to fight every instinct not to hold him closer, tighter, like I could somehow absorb him into myself and never let him go again.

I flopped back down and stared at the ceiling, my heart hammering against my ribs. Was I gay? Bisexual? Or was this just Phoenix? Just this one person who’d somehow rewired my entire understanding of myself?

The thought terrified me almost as much as it thrilled me. And when I glanced down in the dark at my half-hard cock, it terrified me even more.

I groaned and threw off my covers, unable to stand the confined space of my bed any longer. Pacing across my room, I tried to get my head straight, but that just made me snort at theirony. Straight. I wasn’t even sure what that meant for me anymore.

“Pull it together, Laurent,” I muttered to myself, claws digging into my palms.

The digital clock on my desk read half past four in the morning. Practice would start in less than three hours, and I hadn’t slept a wink. Coach would have my ass if I showed up looking like I’d been hit by a truck.