Page 18

ANDY

There’s a tentative knock at my door, and I look up from my book. Bandit’s cradled in my arms exactly how I’ve held him since I started the novel. Slowly, I rise from the bed to open the door to a nervous Trevor.

“Hi,” he says softly.

“Come in, sweetheart.” I move out of his way, and he dashes to the bed to scoop up Bandit. He rubs his head against the stuffie and I can’t hear what he’s saying, but the entire scene is adorable.

“Maybe you just needed your stuffie back,” I say and sit on the bed across from him.

“Maybe.” Trevor squeezes Bandit tight. “I should have turned around to get him, but I didn’t want to confront anyone on my way back. I had to hope that someone would save him from being lonely.”

“I kept him company. He rode in the front seat and I told him stories.”

“Bandit loves stories.” Trevor pulls away from the bed and holds out his hand. He teeters between Big and Little and I don’t know if he notices it. “I owe you lunch. And probably an explanation?”

“You don’t owe me anything, but I’d love to spend time with you.”

Red splotches from Trevor’s face to down under his collar. I take his hand. He leads me to the door, arm looped around Bandit.

“I’d like that, too.” We get all the way to the front desk before Trevor remembers he’s carrying his toy.

“Wait, I don’t want him to get dirty.” He releases my hand and rushes to the person at the front desk.

They take the stuffie and nod. “They’ll take good care of him,” Trevor says when he returns to me.

Again, his hand is in mine. The tiny bits of affection make my heart sing. I’ll cherish these moments forever.

The heat and humidity make us both suck in a breath as soon as we exit the building. I don’t know why the fuck I chose a beach vacation when I don’t care for either, but it was worth it to see Trevor again.

I take in every little flex of his fingers in mine. The way he looks both ways to cross the street. The confidence in his stride.

“What kind of food do you like, Andy?” He looks up at me, waiting for my answer before continuing. “Do you like seafood? Or do you like landlubber food?” He squints an eye and hooks a finger. I think he’s attempting to be a pirate. It’s adorable and silly.

I pull him closer and brush a kiss to his knuckles. His eyes grow wide and there’s a hitch in his breath. I catalogue each reaction.

“I’m not a picky eater. I enjoy seafood as much as landlubber food. Argh!”

His smile lights up the entire world. “I got the perfect place. Sandie’s Seafood & Grill is so yummy. It has everything.” He tugs me to the right and walks faster.

“Slow down, sweetheart.” I don’t want him to exhaust himself before we make it to the food.

“We’re almost there.” And he picks up the pace. Those long legs eating up the distance.

Sandie’s is a bright red building on stilts. The scent coming from the place makes my mouth water.

“Can you do stairs? If not, they have an elevator around back.”

“I’m good with stairs.” It’s so courteous that he thought to ask.

Instead of waiting for me, he takes two steps at a time until he’s at the empty host stand.

“Sorry, I’m hungrier than I realized. I’m doing better with eating now that my days aren’t full of rushing from one place to the other. Mom put me on six weeks of suspension.”

“Why?” I rub his lower back and he leans into me.

“I was a mess… after that night.” He shakes his head. “It wasn’t you. I want you to know that. I got overwhelmed with bad thoughts when Maddie abruptly woke me up.”

I turn him to face me and map out his face. “How bad was the bruise in the end?”

He cringes. “Bad. I don’t know if the stuffie just hit me at the right angle or what, but I was black and blue for like a week and a half. It’s only just started getting better.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

He waves me away. “It’s fine. I called Maddie and we’re good. Chatted with Bel and Evan, too. Evan wasn’t there that night, though. He got in trouble with his Mommy and she grounded him. I don’t think she’s a nice Mommy, at least not to him. Evan’s a good boy.”

“Do you think the club needs to investigate her?”

“Dunno. He never says anything. And?—”

“Table for two?” A host comes out to greet us.

“Yes, with a view. Please and thank you,” Trevor says. “And a coloring page with crayons.”

“Sure thing, sweetie. And grab what you want.” The host waves toward a wall with three different coloring pages and a box full of small boxes of crayons. I grab my own coloring page. Once we’re ready, the host seats us next to a huge window that overlooks the ocean.

“This is beautiful,” I say as I take the offered menu.

“Best view around,” Trevor says.

“We’re pretty proud of what we have at Sandie’s. Mindy will be over to take your order shortly.”

We both thank the host and I scan over the menu.

“So what’s good here?” I ask and lay the paper back on the table.

“Everything, but my favorite is the Southern cheese grits. So yummy. Or the nuggies. Or anything on the menu, really.”

“Want me to order for you?” I don’t know why I ask, but it’s something I’d like to do for him.

He nods. “Yes, please.” He drops his menu and rips open his crayon box. I don’t think his Little retreated, I think he just needed to have someone safe to tell him it’s okay again. He’s humming as he selects what colors he wants and starts coloring.

“Trevor?” I ask softly.

“Uh-huh?” His tongue pokes out as he presses a crayon to his coloring page.

“Do you realize how fast you went into Little space?”

He blinks up at me and giggles. Oh, that sound! “You fixeded me.”

I shake my head. “I think you fixed yourself, sweetheart. All I did was let you be you without judgement.”

He grins and sticks an end of the blue crayon in his mouth.

“Sweetie, let’s not eat the crayons. They aren’t yummy, are they?”

He bites down, breaking the crayon. It crumbles in his mouth and he sits like that with a disgusted look on his face before he picks the pieces away. “Not yummy.” He spits in his napkin and looks at his broken crayon, then my whole box. Back at his broken crayon, my box again.

“Be nice to your other crayons, and I’ll let you have my blue one after we make our order.”

“Thank you, Daddy.” He sucks in his lips and looks around. “Sowwies.”

“Don’t be. You can call me Daddy when it feels right. We’ll play this by ear today, but we should talk later, okay?”

“Okays!” He pulls out another color and goes back to his coloring.

“I’m Mindy. Do you know what you’d like to drink?”

Trevor continues to color.

So I go on and order without further input from him. “I think we’re ready for everything.” I order Trevor the grits he likes and a strawberry lemonade that makes him hum and wiggle.

When Mindy leaves, I hand over my blue crayon. “Tank you, Daddy.” His eyes meet mine. “I love strawberry lemonade.”

He colors contently and just watching him calms me. Before long, the food comes, and he gently puts his crayons and page to the side, making sure the condensation from our glasses doesn’t get on his coloring.

He coughs a few times and takes a long sip of his lemonade.

“I’m going to try and be Big while I eat. Sorry about…” He nods to his coloring page. “I really needed to not think.”

“Don’t apologize.”

He scoops up a spoon of his grits.

“I’m curious about the raccoons,” I say.

Trevor snorts. “I love them.”

“That’s obvious, and I love it for you.”

Trevor eats a few spoonfuls of his grits before starting his story.

“My parents divorced when I was nine, but we all stayed in the same house until I was about fifteen. No one wanted to move. It was a lovely house. But every night we’d get raccoons.

Dad hated them!” Trevor laughs. “He tried everything he could think of to get rid of them, but they always came back.” Trevor leans forwards and waves for me to lean in.

“Probably because mom and I always fed them dog food, and we threw fresh fruit and veggies out to them. Dad never figured it out. We had a lot of nightly visitors. One year a mama raccoon had a litter of babies and she brought all six of them to us. Then they came on their own when they were older. I miss them.”

“I love that. I can just see you sneaking out to feed them, too.” I prop my elbow on the table and lean into my hand. “How old are you? You told me you’d been going to the club since you were nineteen, but you look barely older than that.”

He brushes his bangs from his eyes. “Twenty-three. I’ll be twenty-four in a couple of months.”

“Where’d you go to college?” I want to know everything about him.

“I didn’t.” He squirms in his chair. “I graduated high school top of my class, but I didn’t feel the need to go to college. I worked at the carnival and dad’s hotel. My life experience probably equals to a degree in something.”

“There’s nothing wrong with any of that. I think you know I’m a litigator. It’s stressful, but I love it. Keeps my mind sharp.” I tap the side of my head.

“But something happened. That’s why you stopped going to the club.”

And the tables turn. I gulp down a few mouthfuls of my sweet tea. “I lost a case and my client took his own life. I failed him and didn’t feel like I deserved to continue on enjoying my life.”

Trevor reaches for my hand. “I’m sorry, that had to be rough.

But you always deserve to enjoy life.” Again, his face goes red.

“I’m still learning that lesson. It’s why mom suspended me for six weeks.

She and dad want me to find my passion in life.

They don’t want me to live by their standards anymore.

It’s all I’ve known forever. How the heck do I figure it out on my own? ” His eyes plead with mine.

I chuckle. “Perhaps we can help each other out. But we’ll have to be careful.

I know how my brain functions. If I don’t watch it, I could turn you into my reason for breathing.

I fell into that pit with my ex, Ryan. He was my entire world for so long that when he broke it off, I was devastated.

We can’t live for someone else’s happiness. We have to make our own paths.”

“You’re very wise.”

“I don’t know about that. In the grand scheme of things, I’m also very young. I still make mistakes, but I try to learn from them.”

We chat about the carnival and the hotel. Trevor knows the ins and outs of both, yet he doesn’t want to take over either. I definitely respect that he knows what he doesn’t want.

“What do you have planned for your month here?” He wipes at his mouth. “I can show you around, if you want.”

“I was just going to wing it, but having a personal guide to the city would be fabulous.”

Trevor pulls out his wallet. I try to stop him. “Let me get this.”

He shakes his head. “Daddies deserve treats too and you kept Bandit safe for me.”

I swallow back the lump in my throat. “Thank you, sweetheart.”

He takes my hand again when we leave. “Would you like to walk on the beach for a little bit? I’m not ready to let you go.” The endearing pink splotches across his nose and cheeks.

“I’m not ready to let you go, either.” I bring his knuckles to my lips. I love his hand in mine.

“If you don’t want to walk on the beach, there’s live music around this time at a couple of places.”

“I love live music, but I want to keep talking to you.”

“Beach it is.” He leads us to a sunscreen station on the boardwalk and slathers on the complimentary sunscreen. “Always protect yourself. The sun is no joke.”

When he’s satisfied we’re properly protected, he takes my hand again.

“I haven’t just walked the beach in a while.” He squeezes my hand.

The breeze is nice and I don’t notice the heat all that much.

“Would you want to be my Little while I’m here? I’d love to see you more.”

“How would it work? I’ve only had a Daddy for one night.” He holds up a finger.

“I could give you tasks, something small like text me a joke every day. Or text me something you love every day. We can get together and work on what your passions are.”

“Kind of like homework?”

We stop and stare at the ocean. The lap of the waves is meditative, and it takes me a few minutes to answer.

“Sort of. We can have scenes whenever you want. I brought some books with me if you want story time. We’ll need to talk about limits.

Length of time. Expectations. I can write up a contract. Make everything official like.”

“I think I’d like that. I only work part time at the hotel right now, so I have plenty of time. I’m off for the next four days. It’s so weird when I’m used to working almost every day and rushing around.”

“Probably for the best, though.” I pull him close. “You deserve rest, sweetheart.”

“So do you, Daddy.” He tugs my hand and plants a soft kiss on my cheek.

This is dangerous. I’m already falling hard for this sweet man.