Page 13

ANDY

I finish the story and slide the book to the floor. I just want to enjoy having Trevor in my arms, in my lap. He goes to his Little space so easily. And watching him play with his friends is such a treat. He was made to be a Little. My Little. If he’ll have me.

I rock the chair slowly, loving all the sweet soft noises Trevor makes in his sleep.

He must have been exhausted because he passed out so fast. He has about five minutes left of his twenty-minute nap and I map every inch of his face.

He’s so serene in sleep, trusting me to keep him safe, to hold him.

His scent is still fresh, a bright citrus and coconut, and it makes me think of the beach. Like he bathes in sunscreen.

Maddie inches closer. She’s a touch bratty, but her Mommy obviously loves her very much. Almost to the point of just letting her do whatever she wants without discipline. Which I guess is fine, but Maddie’s been a bit naughty a few times already.

I shut my eyes for a moment, just breathing in Trevor and memorizing the weight of him in my arms.

“Maddie, no!” Bel yells, making my eyes shoot open.

Maddie stands right in front of us. Giraffe stuffie poised in the air.

“Time to?—”

My arm shoots out, but I miss the toy. I try to maneuver Trevor out of the way, but can’t protect all of him.

Whack! Whack! Whack! Maddie grins manically as she repeatedly hits Trevor.

“Ow!” Trevor cries out. His hand flies to his cheek.

“Wake up!” Maddie singsongs.

Whack! Whack! Whack!

“Red!” Trevor yells.

Maddie drops the stuffie and backs away with her hands up.

I glare at the offending giraffe. “How the fuck did you get a stuffie with hard plastic in here? I thought they were banned because of this.” I gesture to Trevor, holding his cheek.

Bel whispers, “Bad word.”

“Trev?” Maddie takes a tiny step forward, but Trevor shakes his head.

“Look at me, sweetheart. Let me see.” I don’t force anything though.

Trevor shakes his head and slides from my lap. A hitch in his breath betrays him. He holds out his hand. “Key, please.”

I slide the bracelet from my wrist and hand it to him. My heart hurts for him.

“Trev?” Maddie’s voice is more frantic. “I sorries. It’s okays. Right? Okays?” She rushes to him as he retreats.

“Red,” he says forcefully as he wipes at his eyes. Thankfully, Maddie backs off.

“I sorries. Sorries.” Maddie drops to her knees and watches as he leaves the room. “Come back. Pweease! I be good. I be so good.” She’s crying now.

I look around. Maddie’s Mommy, Penny, mouths sorry to me as she scoops the naughty Little into her arms. What the fuck do I do in this situation? Can I turn it back around? Bring him back? I’m sure as fuck going to try.

Trevor didn’t even bother to change. He’s already out the door by the time I catch up with him.

“Trevor, wait!”

He stops, but doesn’t turn to face me. He clutches his backpack in front of him and he’s squeezing it so hard I want to pry his fingers from it, but refrain. This isn’t the time.

“Sweetheart, do you want to talk about what happened? I’m sorry I didn’t protect you.” I thread my fingers through my hair. Everything was going so perfectly.

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not,” I say softly. He’s hurting in more ways than just getting hit with a toy. Something happened the moment he woke up so harshly, and I want to understand.

Tears leak from his eyes when he blinks. “I just wanted to play and have fun and enjoy myself. But—” He shakes his head. “You don’t need to hear the story of my life. You probably don’t even want to see me again.”

“That’s not true.”

He shakes his head again. “I need to go home. Reevaluate my life. Maybe I don’t deserve to play.”

“What do you mean?”

“Red.”

I blink back and let him walk away.

My feet barely drag me back to the playroom. I need to put the book away and clean up a few other places before I leave. My heart aches for Trevor. What’s going through his mind? I wish I could put him at ease, but it’d be disrespectful if I pushed him. So I let him go.

Maddie is standing in a corner crying when I rejoin the playroom. Daddy Yuri holds Bel, who’s glaring at Maddie with his fingers in his ears.

When Maddie notices me, she wails louder. “Tr—Trev—Trevor hates me now. I sorries for ruining everything.”

“I don’t know him all that well, but—” I curse under my breath the second I notice Bandit still in the rocking chair. “Fuck.”

“Bad word,” Bel whispers, and I snort.

“What?” Maddie turns around and cries harder. “He lefted Bandit.” She slides down the wall. “I sorries. So Sorries.”

“I’m not the one you need to apologize to.” I grab Bandit after cleaning up.

Club rules say we can’t give out personal details if someone doesn’t consent and since Trevor isn’t with us here, I can’t ask about him.

Like where he works. Why the hell didn’t I ask questions before?

I didn’t want to scare him away. Doesn’t matter, I’ll find him and return his beloved stuffie to him.