Page 43 of Bazooka

The Ripper

Luz

“We’re getting married!” I squealed in excitement, sharing the happy news with my friends. “I’m almost sure of it.”

“What did you say?” Alain said with a frown. “God, my throat hurts. You guys should sit further away from me in case I’m contagious.”

“You don’t look sick, but these forks look dirty,” Wagner grumbled. “Speaking of, why is your cake green, Dotty?”

Dakotah smiled. “It’s a new recipe that Mr. Gio gave me. He got it from his aunt.”

“Not the gun smuggler?” I mumbled with my mouth full of green cake.

“He’s a businessman,” Dakotah said, rolling his eyes. “A respected… banker, I think.”

“A respected criminal, let’s agree, shall we?” Alain said, shifting his confused gaze to me. “And you, Luz, talked about encroaching… or being encroached… God, my head hurts. It has to be a tumor . It has to be .”

“Engaged,” I corrected him.

Dakotah blinked. “Engaged? Like, unable to attend? Or engaged to be married?”

“The latter,” I snorted. “Duh.”

Wagner was too smart for his own good, so he knew what to ask.

“Does Bazooka know that, Luz? That he’s getting married, I mean.”

I shrugged. “Well, if he doesn’t, then he’s just dumb.”

I shifted in my seat and looked around the crowded café, feeling guilty that I’d disobeyed Bazooka’s orders.

Still, it was just a short coffee break with my friends, and honestly, what could happen to me here?

Especially with Vincent, my loyal bodyguard, watching me from the car outside? I was safer than European royalty.

Alain frowned. “Wait, when you say engaged, does that mean that you two finally… You know?”

I gave him a puzzled look… on purpose. “What do you mean?”

Wagner laughed. “He’s messing with you, Al.”

Dakotah gasped. “No way. You two really…”

I smiled proudly. “Like animals.”

Alain choked on his water. “Jesus. Too much info, Luz.”

“So, he’s staying in Smitsville?” Wagner asked me, practical as always.

It dampened my mood because I tried not to think about that. Bazooka, leaving Smitsville. Bazooka, returning to New Mesa. Bazooka, leaving me . Nope. I decided to remain optimistic.

Then I got a text.

Bazooka (my fiancé): Everything okay, pest?

My heart melted into a puddle of romantic goo, just like that.

I raised my phone and showed the text to my friends.

“Now, if that’s not a declaration of love, I don’t know what is.”

Alain sneezed.

Dotty caressed my hand with a look of pity on his face.

Wagner laughed and stood up. “I have things to do and companies to destroy. Does anyone want to share an Uber?”

“Not me,” I snorted. “I have a bodyguard who’s driving me around. I don’t need to pay for my ride like you, losers.”

All three of them flipped me off, while I grinned and texted Bazooka.

Me: I miss you like crazy, Baz. What do you want for lunch?

Bazooka (my fiancé ): I miss you, too. Your ass on the platter.

Me : You want my hole already spread wide, or do you wanna do it by yourself?

Bazooka (my fiancé): Your choice, but I will rail you.

I was still grinning when I opened the car door. I scrambled into the passenger seat, only to realize that Vincent had fallen asleep.

“Sleeping on the job, oh, bodyguard, mine?” I said, chuckling. “Baz would kill you if he knew, but I’m not a snitch, so…”

A movement in the back seat caught my attention, but at that point, it was too late. A hand clamped over my mouth, followed by a strange smell in my nostrils, and then the world around me disappeared.

After that, I had a weird dream where Chief Bibb was making me do push-ups.

Patricia watched me do it, laughing like a crazy person.

Jordan was cheering me on, while asshole Adam kept taking bets.

Maddox and Bazooka were nowhere to be seen, but the Triple Threat was there.

They were eating popcorn and staring at me, while John Smith was placing a “crime scene” tape around the place.

I didn’t know how long this monstrosity of a dream lasted, but when I came to, my mouth felt numb.

The rest of my body felt even worse because I had difficulty moving.

I was lying on the ground… stone floor, maybe?

Immediately, I realized two things. First, I fucked up. Second, Baz was going to kill me.

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” someone said, making me look up. I blinked to clear my vision, only to realize that I was in some kind of dusty… chapel?

I spotted a tall man in front of me clad in black.

“If you’re after my father, you have the wrong son,” I muttered, slowly straightening up. “He doesn’t give a shit about me.”

“And I don’t give a shit about your father.”

Things just got interesting.

“Mendoza, then?” I guessed as fancy, expensive shoes appeared in my line of vision.

My gaze lifted, following a strong, muscular body, an unfairly pretty face, and cold eyes.

“Yeah, you’re the villain of this story,” I concluded after a thorough once-over. “Both handsome and devious. You’re after Bazooka, I presume?”

“Contrary to popular belief, I don’t give a shit about Bazooka,” Mendoza said coolly.

“What do you give a shit about?”

“They told me you were mouthy,” he said before his shoe hit my face. It felt as if I might have lost a tooth or two, which made me angry because I would rather die than let Baz see me toothless.

“Maybe you should learn to rein in that big mouth of yours,” Mendoza said, smirking.

I spat out blood. “Eh, if I haven’t learned it so far, I never will.”

He laughed, taking my chin in his hand.

“I like you. You’re funny.”

“I’m also rich. Do you need money? If you leave Baz and me alone, I’ll give it to you.”

“How much money are we talking about?”

“A few million. My grandpa left me a trust fund, which I rarely use out of principle because my father is a piece of shit.”

“My father was the same,” Mendoza said thoughtfully. “Maybe we have more in common than I thought. Incidentally, I don’t care about your money.”

“If you’re not interested in my father or Baz or even money, why am I here?” I asked him. “If it’s my ass you’re after, I have to inform you that I’m engaged to be married.”

Mendoza smiled. “I don’t care about your ass either and the rest shall be revealed soon. In the meantime, I would like to introduce you to my associates, Mr. Smith and Mr. Wesson. And let me warn you… They don’t have the same sense of humor as I do.”

Two wrestler-sized men appeared behind him, armed to the teeth.

“Shocker,” I muttered. “Are you going to call Bazooka?”

“Maybe.”

“If you do, can you please tell him I’m sorry?”

“Why?”

“Because I fucked up, and now he will suffer for it.”

Bazooka

Pest: I miss you like crazy, Baz. What do you want for lunch?

Me: I miss you, too. Your ass on the platter.

Pest: You want my hole already spread wide, or do you wanna do it by yourself?

Me: Your choice, but I will rail you.

I was trying to wipe the grin off my face when Jordan sauntered into the office looking… inebriated?

“Hello, losers,” he mumbled, colliding with a desk. “What’s up?”

“Hello to you, too?” I said, smirking. “You’re late. Is Luz okay?”

Jordan laughed. “Oh, everyone’s okay but me. Even Scarshit over there.”

To little or no surprise, Adam lost it and punched him in the face. Jordan punched him back. Maddox and I separated them, while Chief Bibb threatened to fire them both.

“Hey,” I said, bopping Jordan in the head. “You’re usually a normal guy. What has gotten into you?”

“Him,” Jordan growled, throwing a stapler in Adam’s direction. “He’s driving me insane.”

“He’s driving everyone insane,” I retorted, rolling my eyes. “Just like Luz is driving me insane. Is the little pest okay?”

Jordan rubbed his forehead. “How the hell should I know?”

“Well, he came to your place this morning, didn’t he?”

“No,” Jordan snorted.

Wait, what?

I grabbed him by the lapels, when Adam jumped out of his chair.

“Let go of him, asshole!”

“What do you mean he didn’t come?” I growled, glaring at Jordan.

Jordan’s eyes widened.

“Shit. He was supposed to come by, right? I forgot.”

I was about to slam him into a wall when my phone rang. When I saw the caller ID, which said “pest”, I breathed a sigh of relief.

“Where are you, Luz?” I answered the call. “And if you say anywhere else but my apartment, I will personally—”

“I can see that I have your attention, Detective Bradley.”

I froze on the spot. Everything within me just froze. I knew that voice.

“Does General Zablonsky’s son mean anything to you?” The same voice asked me.

I pulled out my gun, aimed it at the wall, and fired.

“On a good day,” I replied.

I felt hands grabbing me, keeping me in place. People around me kept telling me to calm down, trying to restrain me. The gun left my hand.

The man on the other end of the line laughed. “Well, then, maybe we have things to talk about.”

“What do you want?” I said, struggling to free myself from all those hands that were stopping me from setting the world on fire.

“I want only one thing,” Mendoza said. “And this cute boy here will help me get it.”

“What is it? Tell me and I’ll give it to you.”

“First, I will send you a text with a location. After that, you will come to this location with Detective Biancchi. Unarmed.”

I frowned. “Who?”

“Marcello Biancchi.”

“Marcello is GPD. He has no jurisdiction here.”

“Lucky me. Do it anyway. And by the way…the pretty boy said to tell you he’s sorry.”

“I want to hear his voice. Proof of life. It’s non-negotiable.”

“I guess that’s reasonable.”

I heard some commotion on the other end of the line, followed by a weak whisper.

“ Kochanie .”

At the sound of Luz’s voice, I barely stopped myself from throwing the nearest desk out of the window.

“You always kept telling me I’m not stupid, but I’m pretty dumb, huh? If I die before seeing you—”

“You are not dumb, and you’re not going to fucking die,” I growled. “Stay there, keep your mouth shut, and wait for me. But most of all, keep your mouth shut.”

“I have a bad feeling about this, Baz,” Luz said, sniffling. “I hoped for our happy ending, but—”

His voice was cut off, and then Mendoza spoke.

“I did my part. Now you do yours. Oh, and by the way, if I see anyone but Biancchi and you at the location, Goldilocks here dies.”

After he hung up, I just stood there, unable to move.

“Bazooka.”

“Bazooka.”

“Bazooka.”

Sometimes I hated my fucking name.

“Bazooka,” Maddox said, appearing behind me. “Call General Zablonsky. Jordan and Adam, find the nearest toilet and fuck each other because you’re of no use to anyone until you do. Vile, call John Smith and tell him to go to the location Bazooka will text him.”

Patricia blinked. “And whose location is it?”

“Luz’s bodyguard. Probably dead.”

I was ready to kill the world, but after I washed my face, I called General Zablonsky instead. I also didn’t beat around the bush.

“Something bad happened, General.”

“What is it? Is Mikolaj okay?”

I swallowed what felt like bile in my throat.

“Luz has been taken by Rio “The Ripper” Mendoza. It’s all my fault.”

Because you were irresponsible. Because you were thinking with your dick instead of your head.

I tried to ignore the thoughts in my head, but they wouldn’t leave.

“No, Levi,” General Zablonsky said after a short pause. “Don’t blame yourself. Tell me how I can help.”

“Get me Vincent’s location.”

“Consider it done.”

To little or no surprise, we found the car abandoned and Vincent shot in the head.

I was contemplating my next move when I got an idea.

It was a gamble, but also my best bet. I barely knew this person, but I knew someone who knew him, and it was enough for me.

After I sent him a text that would help me put my plan into action, I received a phone call.

“Marcello,” I answered. “I was about to call you.”

“I know everything. I’m in Smitsville, too.”

What the fuck?

“Where can we meet?” Marcello said, his voice muffled.

“Pete’s, behind the community center?” I suggested. “In an hour?”

Things got much clearer after we met.

“It’s all my fault,” Marcello said with a sigh. “I went undercover. No one expected me to succeed, but I managed to get close to Mendoza. He befriended me. Hell, he even liked me until… well, the fucker figured out who I was.”

“Shit,” I muttered.

“Yeah. And now he’s on a mission to hurt me. He threatened my wife—”

“Aren’t you divorced?” I interrupted him.

“We decided to give it one more chance. Anyway, I refused any contact with Mendoza, hoping we would find him first. Then this thing with your friend happened.”

“How did you find out?”

“Mendoza called my station and left me a message. The fucker threatened to kill your friend if I don’t do what he says. I’m so sorry, Bazooka. Jesus, what a fuckup!”

I buried my face in my hands, trying not to think about Luz being in danger. I could barely stand being parted from him, let alone consider the possibility of him being hurt. Naturally, Marcello picked up on it.

“Wait, there’s more to it, isn’t it?” he said, sounding puzzled. “This thing with your friend. What’s really going on?”

I shrugged. “I have no idea. I just realized I can’t live without him, so…”

“Whoa,” Marcello said, cocking his eyebrows. “Okay. I didn’t… I didn’t even know you were gay, man.”

“Yeah, me neither,” I admitted. “Am I gay? I think it’s just him.”

Then I got a text.

Wagner: St. Aloysius Chapel. Mendoza is there with two of his men.

Me: Jesus. You really are a genius, as Luz has said. Thank you. I owe you big time.

Wagner: That’s why law enforcement can’t afford my services. Save my friend and consider us even.

“Let’s wrap this up,” I said, pulling Marcello after me. “I have Mendoza’s location. It’s time to bring out the big guns.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning, sometimes you need someone insane to make things happen.”