Page 19 of Bazooka

Luz. Unleashed.

Luz

“Morning,” I said, approaching the sofa in the room where Bazooka spent the night.

He raised his head, looking groggy and half-asleep.

“Morning.”

I walked up to him tentatively, feeling like a deer approaching a lion. Why? Because when I woke up, I wanted to legit kill myself.

You tried to kiss him? Really? Are you fucking insane?

In my defense, I was shaken up. Visiting Pete’s brought the memories back, just when I started to forget. My body reacted in all kinds of ways that I couldn’t predict or control. Vomiting. Trembling. I could remember falling asleep with Bazooka beside me, only to wake up alone in an empty room.

I looked at him from under my lashes. “Do I need to apologize again?”

Bazooka shook his head and yawned. “No, it’s fine. Why are you up?”

“I couldn’t sleep anymore?” I offered. “The sun woke me up? Both?”

“How are you feeling?”

I shrugged. “Better, I guess. I’m sorry I freaked out last night. Your LD pals got quite a show.”

“Don’t worry about them,” Baz murmured, straightening up. “But you should probably skip going to the station today. Yesterday was stressful enough, so you should get some rest. I’ll head there now, but I’ll come back… around lunch, probably. I’ll try to spend the rest of the day working from home.”

“You don’t have to do that, Baz,” I protested. “Really. I’m fine.”

“I know I don’t, but I want to.”

After Bazooka left for work, I breathed a sigh of relief. I feared he would throw me out because of that kissing attempt, but he seemed cool about it, so… a weight off my shoulders.

The rest of my day was even better because the orders I expected had arrived. I was super bored the other day, so I did some online shopping. Okay, a lot of shopping. I was hauling the last of the boxes into the room when the doorbell rang.

I opened the door, only to see a gray-haired man in overalls standing in the doorway. He had pliers in one hand and a handsaw in the other, so I hoped he wasn’t here to bludgeon me to death.

“Hello,” he said with a faint accent I couldn’t place. “Is Mister Bazooka at home?”

I almost laughed. Mister Bazooka.

“No, he’s not, I’m afraid,” I chirped merrily. “Can I help you?”

He didn’t seem like a homicidal maniac, so I decided to be forthcoming.

“Have you perhaps noticed water stains on your ceiling? The pipes are leaking on the floor above you.”

I turned around to inspect the ceiling in the room .

“Nope, no flood here. Would you like to come in and check it out?”

“No need, dear. Just let me know if you notice anything. I live in the apartment below you. Matlock is the name.”

“I sure will. I’m Luz, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you,” he said, shaking my hand. “And you’re Mister Bazooka’s…?”

“Boyfriend, yup,” I replied, smiling widely. “Thanks, Mr. Matlock. Rock on.”

“God bless you. Please say hello to Mister Bazooka for me.”

Mister Bazooka.

“Sure will.”

Whistling, I closed the front door and unpacked my stuff.

Said stuff contained:

·Two pastel blue tablecloths with matching napkins

·A vintage crystal vase that I instantly fell in love with

·A bucket of yellow paint, brushes, painter’s tape, and other useful thingies

·A plush, shaggy white rug for the room

·The most adorable, dainty floral curtains for the kitchen window

·A few pieces of clothing for yours truly

·A marble statue of a naked god with a huge phallus (Pan, probably)

·Two packs of raspberry-scented candles (for a romantic dinner)

·A heart-shaped butt plug (for after a romantic dinner).

Then I got a text.

Bazooka (my future boyfriend): Are you behaving, pest?

Me: Aww. You miss me.

Bazooka (my future boyfriend): Just checking to see if my flat is still in place .

Me: Would you like to know what I’m wearing?

Bazooka (my future boyfriend): Luz!

Me: Nekkid.

Me: Does that make you hard?

Me: OMG. We’re officially sexting.

Bazooka (my future boyfriend): I will block you.

I let out a heavy sigh and stopped myself from texting him back.

Instead, I placed a crystal vase on top of the table, wondering if there was a flower shop nearby.

I hid the butt plug under the bed next to the lube and condoms. After that, I took a selfie of myself and the statue of a naked god with a huge phallus and sent it to Bazooka.

I didn’t receive a reply until half an hour later.

Bazooka (my boyfriend): My landlord called me to say that the pipes stopped leaking in the neighbor’s apartment. Why did he tell me to say hello to my boyfriend?

Me: (insert eye roll) I told him that our relationship is platonic, but he didn’t buy it. I think he felt our cosmic sexual chemistry. I met him briefly, but he seems like a nice guy. I’ll tell you all about it later. I can’t talk right now. Busy.

Bazooka (My boyfriend): I will kill you, Luz. I swear to God!

Aww, he was so cute. And he would never kill me. I was almost sure of it.

I headed to the kitchen to prepare another surprise for Bazooka, which took me an hour to finish.

After I put it in the oven, I decided it was time to dazzle our neighbors with the curtains I’d bought.

The curtain rod was already installed, so I just had to slide the curtains onto it and voilà .

Already, the apartment looked so much nicer.

I was admiring my handiwork when I heard the front door open.

“Honey, I’m home,” I yelled over my shoulder with a wide smile.

“Hey,” Bazooka said, coming inside. “I brought us some food and… what THE FUCK is that?”

I swiftly turned, surprised.

“Oh, this?” I said, looking at the blouse I put on. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it? Pure Korean silk. Expensive as fuck, so I splurged a fortune, but whatever. It arrived today, and I couldn’t resist—”

“Not the fucking blouse,” Bazooka exclaimed. “This… all of this.”

I followed his gaze, wondering if he’d lost a brain cell or two on his way home.

“The curtains?” I offered as if he were dim-witted.

He rubbed his forehead. “Luz… what the fuck did you do?”

My face fell. “I thought you’d like it.”

“Why would I like it, Luz? Do I seem like someone who cares about curtains? Tablecloths? Statues… who the fuck is that?”

I looked at the statue of a naked god with a huge phallus, blushing.

“Pan? Narcissus?” I offered.

Bazooka looked livid. “I can’t believe you, Luz. Half a day. I’m gone for half a day, and what do you do?”

“I wanted to surprise you.”

He left the bags on the kitchen counter and headed to the bathroom.

“You surprised me, alright.” I heard him grumble. “You turned my apartment into a circus.”

I was hurt. And angry. A circus? A fucking circus? How dare he?

I reached for the statue of a naked god with a huge phallus and threw it into a trash can, almost crying when its dick broke off. I was half tempted to piss on the food I’d prepared, but I was better than that.

I was staring out the window, fuming, when Bazooka came back.

“Are you hungry?” he said, walking up to me. “I bought us enchiladas.”

I refused to answer. The prick.

He let out a heavy sigh as if I’d insulted him, and not vice versa.

“Luz—”

“Fuck off.”

He tipped my chin up, making me look at him. Steely gray eyes found mine, stern but kind.

“Don’t sulk.”

When I slapped his hand away, he smiled.

“You’re cute when you sulk.”

I bit my lip so I wouldn’t smile. Not yet. Not that easily.

Hold up! Did he just tell me I was cute?

He chuckled and pinched my cheek. “Come on, angry kitten. Smile and say hello to me.”

God, why did he have to be so charming?

I whined internally and placed my arms on his shoulders. I stood too close to him (kissing distance), but I felt as if he owed me that.

“Only if you apologize,” I grumbled, looking at him from under my lashes.

A hint of a smile tugged at his lips.

“I apologize.”

“Tell me you like what I did with the place.”

“I like it.”

“Say, I like it, kitten.”

He grinned.

“I like what you did with the place, angry kitten.”

Be still, my heart.

“That’s better,” I said and kissed him on the cheek. “Thanks for the food.”

“Why do you smell like icing sugar?” he murmured, placing his hand on my waist and pulling me closer to him. I could feel his face brushing my neck, burying in my hair.

I smiled, feeling giddy. “Because I have another surprise for you. A dessert.”

“God, help me,” Bazooka said with a sigh, pulling away. “How about you serve us food while I take a quick shower? Sounds good?”

“Perfect.”

He’d barely left when his phone rang. It made every sense to answer it, especially after I saw who was calling him.

“Officer Vile,” I said into the phone, smiling sweetly. “How can I help you?”

A long pause ensued.

“Hellooo?” I shrieked. “Anybody there?”

“Erm… can I talk to Levi?”

“ Levi is in the shower,” I said, turning off the stove. “Anything else?”

“Can you tell him to call me back?”

“Oh, absolutely,” I replied. “Sorry, I must dash. Levi needs a back rub.”

I hung up and took the dessert out of the oven before leaving it by the open window to cool. After I set the table, I had enough time to fold the napkins into cute little swans.

“I’m starving,” Bazooka said when he returned. “You?”

“Fuck, yeah. I worked my ass off today.”

I saw him stifling a smile and wanted to comment on it, but instead, I let him eat in peace. After we were done with the main course, I cleaned up the table while Bazooka talked to John Smith on the phone. I served us dessert just as he hung up, but then his phone rang again.

“Hey, Patricia.” I heard him answer. “What’s up?”

Oopsie . And I forgot to relay her message to him. Oh, well.

I heard fragments of their conversation, but they were job-related and boring. After Bazooka hung up, I made a show of rinsing the plate, because I suspected I was in trouble. When he grabbed me by the waist and sat me on the countertop, I squealed in alarm.

“You will never do this again,” he said, pointing his finger at me in warning. “My phone is off limits, and that’s officially rule number four. Break it, and there will be consequences.”

“It seemed urgent.” I defended myself. “It was Officer Vile, after all. She wouldn’t have called you without a good reason. Why did she call?”

Instead of replying, he pointed his chin at the dessert plates.

“What’s this?”

“My surprise for you,” I said sheepishly. “I made you cupcakes.”

He smiled, looking pleased. “Cupcakes?”

“Mm-hmm,” I hummed, admiring the beautifully decorated dessert. “The vanilla ones with buttercream frosting and blueberries. I wanted to thank you for everything.”

“You didn’t have to do that, Luz. Were you mindful of your injured foot?”

I waved my hand dismissively. “Yeah, yeah. I prepared them while sitting in a chair. It was a bit complicated, but I pulled it off.”

Bazooka broke off a piece of cupcake and put it into his mouth before feeding me the next one. It made my heart skip a beat, and it also gave me a semi.

“It tastes great,” he said with his mouth full. “What else can you do?”

I shrugged. “I give great massages. Would you like one?”

Say yes, please. I’m begging you.

When Bazooka bit into another cupcake, I couldn’t help but laugh.

“You have cream on your beard.”

The tip of his tongue darted out, and he licked his bottom lip.

“Did I get it?”

“I think so,” I mused, leaning in, only to swipe my tongue along his lips. “Yeah, now it’s gone.”

He shook his head in disbelief. “I can’t believe you just did that.”

“I’ve wanted to do it since I met you, Baz,” I admitted, eyeing his lips. “How about that birthday present, huh?”

He smirked. “Why? You want one?”

Do I want one? Do I want one? The fucker.

“I do,” I replied, tempted to hit him for fucking with me. He was probably getting back at me for that lick, but still… not fair.

Baz chuckled before nuzzling my nose with his.

“You smell sweet,” he said, his hot breath brushing my lips. “Like these cupcakes that you made.”

Okay, I was officially hard.

His gaze slid to my mouth, and… Omg, is he about to kiss me? I closed my eyes, barely daring to breathe. When nothing happened, I searched for his mouth with mine when he pulled away abruptly.

“Nah,” he said, sounding amused. “Your lips aren’t healed yet.”

“Fuck you,” I muttered, sliding down the countertop with a semi trapped in my jeans.

He stood in my way and grinned. “Stop sulking, angry kitten. It’s nap time.”

Nap time? I stopped in my tracks. Damn him. Wait. Together?

Finally, I relented, but only because he let me sleep on top of him.

Well, next to him, but most of my limbs were on his body, and his arms were wrapped around me.

We were officially cuddling, but I couldn’t sleep because I was hard again.

I needed to find a solution to my predicament called “I’m going to die if I don’t get fucked today”, and pronto.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” Baz asked me as if he could hear my thoughts.

“My stomach is acting up,” I lied.

“Yeah, because you poisoned us with those cupcakes.”

I jabbed him in the ribs. Viciously.

“Ow,” he said, chuckling.

“It’s called sexual frustration, Baz. Look…” I propped myself on my elbow to look at him. “How about I pay you?”

“For what?”

“For a kiss.”

He grinned. “Is that all you want? A kiss?”

“I’m done playing your games, okay?” I groaned out, suppressing the need to hit him.

“You’re the one playing games, Luz.”

God, talking to him was exhausting sometimes.

“If you were gay, do you think you would be bottom or top?” I asked him, already knowing the answer, but it was my intro to dirty talk.

He cocked his eyebrows. “What do you think?”

“I think you would be the one fucking me. Am I right?”

He gave me a crooked smile. “Yeah, I would be the one fucking you, Luz.”

“Does this kind of talk make you hard?” I asked him, gnawing at my lip.

I didn’t dare look at his crotch and find out.

I just wanted to provoke him so he would do something.

Anything . Then his phone rang, and I whined in frustration, burying my face in his chest. I could feel his fingers running through my hair as he spoke to whoever had called him, but it was only a small comfort.

It felt nice, though. He was touching me, and I didn’t even have to beg.

“I have to go,” he said after hanging up. “Get off me.”

I untangled myself from him reluctantly.

“What happened?”

“Work.”

“Wait,” I said, jumping out of bed. “Let me pack you some cupcakes. I bought Tupperware.”

He was at the front door when I caught up with him, breathless.

“There you go,” I said, handing him the food container. “Call me.”

He smiled and pinched my cheek. “Thank you, kitten.”

“You’re welcome.”

He winked at me, and then he was gone. And I went to jerk off because… fuck him and his rules. I was officially through with them. It was time to bring out the big guns.