Page 17

17

Snake Oil

*Ren*

S omething cool and damp pressed against my forehead, and my eyes fluttered open. My brow furrowed. “Where am I?” The last thing I remembered was eating salad with Jalen. How did I end up in a room decorated in the ugliest wallpaper ever invented? It was brown with bright-orange accents that I suspected were meant to be flowers—but which looked more like a certain part of female anatomy.

“Good, you’re finally waking,” a woman said.

I turned my neck slowly, spotting an old Dionion, her blue hair streaked liberally with gray, holding a washcloth against my head. “Who are you? What happened to me?” I was sprawled flat on my back on a raised platform in the center of a small room, allowing the lady to putter around beside me while I rested at waist level.

“There, there, young one. All will be well in time.” She lifted the cloth, dipping it into a basin.

I attempted to sit up, but all that earned me was a wave of dizziness. Added to the heat cooking me from the inside out, I had never felt so strange in my life.

Who was this lady? From the gentle way she took care of me, and the kindness in her eyes, I suspected she wasn’t a threat. But why wasn’t she answering my questions?

Once I didn’t feel like I was about to faint, I tried again. “I don’t understand what’s happening. How did I get here? Where is Jalen?”

The woman’s brows dipped and her lips pursed as I spoke until the last word. “Ah, of course. I’ll bring your harmonic.” She patted my shoulder with a wrinkled hand and marched across the room toward the door. “Stay right there.”

What did she say she was getting? A harmonica?

“Seems like I don’t have much choice.” A little voice in my mind begged me to get up, but there was no way I’d get far if lifting my head made me so dizzy I had to immediately lie back down.

The door swung open soon after, and Jalen rushed in. “Ren? You’re awake.”

“Hey, there you are.” I attempted a smile, but I suspect it looked more like a grimace. “What’s going on? How did I get here? That lady wouldn’t tell me anything.”

“Sorry about that. Asani doesn’t have a translator implant.”

“Oh.” That explained it. I could understand her, but she couldn’t understand me. “Who is she?”

“A healer. You collapsed in the jungle and I brought you here.”

Asani strolled back in, a small cup in her hands. “After we get some liquid in her, she’ll be up on her feet.” She faced Jalen. “Help her sit up, young one.”

Jalen slid in behind me, gently lifting my shoulders until I was upright. He stayed there, supporting my upper body by resting it against his chest. The position was far too intimate for my liking, but desperate times…

“Drink this.” Asani lifted the cup to my lips.

I sipped dutifully, only to twist away when the wretched liquid accosted my taste buds. There were simply no words to describe it, although putrid came close. I swallowed the first mouthful reflexively, but there was no way in hell I was finishing the rest. “Ugh, what was that?”

Asani waved the cup in front of me. “You must finish it.”

Jalen winced. “It’s medicine. You should listen to her.”

“Nope. Not happening. She’s trying to poison me.”

Vibrations tickled my back as a startled laugh rumbled in Jalen’s chest. “I promise she’s not poisoning you.”

“You don’t know that. She could be losing her mind. Who decorates their room with vaginas?”

His gaze darted to the weird “flowers” on the wall and more laughter spilled out of him.

I didn’t join in. “I’m glad you find this hilarious, but I don’t want a crazy woman doctoring me! Hell, she told me she was bringing me a harmonica when she went to get you.”

Jalen stiffened.

“You think I’m right, don’t you?” I could tell the last little factoid struck a nerve. “Let me call Karsen. She’s a doctor too. One I know for sure is sane. I want a second opinion before I drink that”—I grimaced at the cup—“disgusting snake oil.”

Asani picked that moment to dart in, trying to pour the poison down my mouth while it was partially open in an outraged sneer. I slammed my lips shut at the last instant and glared at her with murder in my eyes.

“Make your harmonic drink,” Asani barked at Jalen.

There she goes with that nonsense again! I refused to open my mouth and give the old lady another opportunity to drown me, but I aimed a pointed stare at Jalen, lifting my brows as if to say, See? The bitch is crazy.

Jalen sighed wearily. “Ren, Asani isn’t trying to harm you. She’s been a healer for her entire life, and I trust her completely.”

I covered my mouth, making sure Asani didn’t try a sneak attack while I spoke. “If that’s the case, then you drink it.”

“If I drink the medicine, then you will too?”

Maybe I just craved company in my misery. “Yes.”

Jalen snagged the cup from Asani and drained it in a few swift gulps. “Harlx’s beard! That was awful.” My back shook as a full-body shudder ripped through him.

“See?” I spit out.

Asani threw up her hands before grabbing the empty cup. “I’ll bring more,” she grumbled as she shuffled through the door.

“Fuck…” I can’t believe he drank that. “I take it back. I’d rather be dead.”

“No way. You agreed.” Jalen chuckled. “Just get it over quick. Truly, it wasn’t that bad.”

Of course Mr. Positive would say so… I craned my neck sideways, glaring at him. Only… I hadn’t realized how close we were. Or how beautiful his green eyes would be up close and filled with mirth. I swallowed as we locked gazes, my heart pounding.

Jalen brushed a stray lock of hair off my forehead. “Be honest now. You wouldn’t rather be dead, would you?”

My breath caught, and the next words that escaped my throat came out in a husky murmur. “No. I-I don’t know why I said that…”

“Mmm. I thought so.” He inched closer, his gaze falling to my mouth.

And I just sat there, stunned, my breath getting shallower with every inhale. Is he going to kiss me? Do I want him to?

The door slammed open, and Jalen jerked back. I flipped forward so fast another blast of dizziness hit me.

Fuck… Maybe I did need to drink that vile medicine. If it stopped the dizziness and the overwhelming sensation of lava boiling my veins, then it would be worth it.

Asani hustled over with the cup outstretched.

“Fine. I’ll drink it.” But before grabbing the cup, I pinched my nose closed. Then I poured the awful concoction down my throat, willing myself not to gag.

“Good,” Asani praised. “You ought to start feeling better momentarily, young one. Please, rest here until you’re steady on your feet.” She turned to Jalen. “Remember my instructions, yes?” She ducked out of the room, leaving me and Jalen alone.

“What was that all about? What instructions?”

“Hm?” Jalen patted his vest. “Oh, she gave me more medicine to take with us.”

“Oh, hell no. I’m not drinking that again.”

“Relax. The rest is in tablet form.”

“They make that crap in tablets? Why couldn’t I just take that instead?”

“It would’ve taken a lot longer to begin working.”

I scoffed. “I would’ve waited.”

“But isn’t it nice to have it over and done with?” He backed away but kept a hand on my shoulder. “Think you can sit on your own yet?”

I stiffened my spine and found that I could handle the task without wobbling. “Yeah. I think that stuff is working. I feel a lot cooler, too.” A shadow of the heat boiling my insides was still present, but most of it had subsided. “Guess she wasn’t trying to poison me after all.”

“See? I told you we could trust her.”

I flicked my legs over the edge of the raised cot. “Hm. Well, I still maintain that anyone who’d look at that monstrosity every day is at least a little bit crazy.” I nodded to the wallpaper.

Jalen grinned, a devilish glint in his eyes that made me feel a bit dizzy again. “This is nothing. Wait until you see the rest of the house.”

*Ren*

Less than an hour later, after gawking at one of the weirdest living rooms in the universe, we bid goodbye to Asani and headed outside.

I squinted at the sun. Twilight wasn’t far off. “How long was I out?”

Jalen shrugged. “Most of the afternoon.”

“Yikes. I hope that doesn’t put us behind schedule.”

“It’s all right. We can make up some time before full night.” He cocked a brow. “Unless you’d rather stay in the village tonight? I’m certain I could find someone willing to lend us a room.”

“No. I rested enough already. Unless… are you tired?” Sure, I’d been passed out for half of the day, but Jalen must have exerted a lot of energy carrying me out of the jungle.

On the other hand, the village wasn’t much to look at. Just a few scraggly cabins tucked into a clearing. And if the rest of the locals hadn’t bothered to get a translator, it’d be a pain trying to communicate with them.

“No worries. I’m not tired yet.”

“All right. Let’s go.”

We set off down a path leading into the trees. It wasn’t long before we ran into something that made the skin on my arms prickle. An enormous wall blocked our path forward, virtually identical to the one that had bordered Jalen’s cabin, only three times bigger.

“How are we supposed to get around that?” More importantly, did we even want to cross it? They wouldn’t have built a wall that size unless there was something on the other side they really didn’t want passing through.

“There’s a gate ahead. I know the code,” Jalen said.

“Okay… Can I just ask, what is that wall keeping out?”

“This is dradhowler territory, remember?”

“Oh. Right.” The big beasties Arda had told me about. “And how are we supposed to keep them away from us again?”

He sent me a reassuring smile. “As long as we’re under shelter before full dark, they won’t be a problem. Don’t worry. The spot I was telling you about won’t take nearly that long to reach.”

“If you say so.” The words came out confidently enough, but I almost chickened out and told him I would like to spend the night in the village after all. But then a chime distracted me from my cowardly thoughts. “Someone’s ringing me on my comms implant.”

“Answer it. I’ll open the gate.”

As Jalen strode out of earshot, I slapped my neck. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Ren, how are you hanging in there with the hot guide?”

“Arda.” I grinned, happy to hear her sounding like herself again. “I’m doing okay. How about you? Did you break Lux’s heart yet by admitting you’re into humping plants now?”

She scoffed. “Please. If I really wanted to get into plant husbandry, he’d be the first one hauling a tree inside the Verne and figuring out how to make it the third in our weird little menage.”

Laughter bubbled out of me, and Jalen turned back with a crooked grin when he heard it. I shifted sideways, not wanting his distracting smile to be all I could see. “Um, so you’re back to normal?”

“Yeah. Ankle’s good as new. Still have a killer headache. Doesn’t help that Smudge is still howling about how horny she is every chance she gets. I swear, sometimes I can hear her yowling inside my head. I even heard it when I went outside to check the landing gear earlier. Guess those are just auditory flashbacks, though.”

“If it makes you feel better, Dionus doesn’t like me much better.”

“Fuck.” Arda’s voice grew concerned. “What happened?”

I shared a shortened account of the last few hours, along with a description of Asani’s home that had her roaring with laughter. By the time I’d finished, we’d made it through the gate and a short distance down the trail.

“Wow. That’s rough. I’m glad the healer forced you to choke down the medicine in the end. Did she say what caused your symptoms? Knowing my luck, I better keep an eye out while I’m exploring or I’ll be the next one burning up.”

“She didn’t. Or maybe I was too out of it when she explained.”

“Well, if you find out, let me know.” Arda chuckled. “Vagina wallpaper. Wish I’d seen that.”

I shivered. “Trust me, you really don’t. I’ll be having nightmares about that room for weeks.”

A huge yawn echoed in my ears.

“Feeling tired?” I asked.

“Still catching up from the sleepless night while I was hallucinating. I didn’t realize that stuff would keep me wired for hours on end.”

“I’ll sign off, then, so you can get some rest.”

“All right. But before you go… thanks, Ren. I know you were the last one of us who should be stuck out there with some rando considering—”

“It’s fine.” I glanced ahead, making sure Jalen was still far enough away that he couldn’t hear me. Even so, I lowered my voice. “I actually think he might be one of the rare decent men in the universe.”

“Nice. I’m glad he’s not some big weirdo like we were worried about.”

“Yeah, me too. Later, Capt.”

As I deactivated my implant, I stole another look ahead. It was strange to realize, but what I’d admitted to Arda—mainly hoping to set her at ease—wasn’t even a lie.

Jalen might annoy me to no end with his endless positivity, but he’d helped me again today. I had no doubt if he hadn’t been around to carry me out of the jungle, I’d still be lying on the ground, passed out and overheated. That made it twice now that he’d saved my life.

Maybe he really is one of the good ones…