Page 16

16

Sunlight

*Jalen*

I reclined on my mat, staying still and quiet long after the boulder had swung open. I’d barely slept, especially after Ren paid me a visit in the middle of the night.

Harlx’s ghost… That had been an exercise in control I wasn’t expecting. My cousin’s demand had played in my ears on repeat all night long. Keep your hands to yourself. Keep your hands to yourself . The next time I saw Rhelt, I owed him a swift punch to the groin for the pain he’d caused me.

I’d lain there unmoving while Ren slept, after she’d crawled into my bed and plastered her naked flesh against me. All I’d wanted was to roll her over and make her mine. But I couldn’t quiet the whispered warning echoing in the depths of my mind. The one saying that she was acting out of character. The female who insisted I turn my back and close my eyes while she was wrapped in a towel wasn’t the same female who’d brazenly climb in a male’s bed while only wearing that tiny scrap of—

No… I had to stop picturing it. To stop remembering how she’d felt, so warm and soft, pressed against me. Otherwise, I’d be stuck lying here all morning, willing my arousal to subside.

It was a good thing I’d listened to that voice. If Ren’s reaction when she woke and hastily scrambled off me was anything to judge by, she hadn’t meant to climb into my bed at all.

I’d been careful to keep still, not letting on to the fact that I was awake and aware of her presence. She clearly felt awkward about it. And I wasn’t in the habit of making anyone feel worse. Especially not her. If she gave me the chance, I’d love to make her feel amazing.

There I went again. Stop it, Jalen. She’s not for you. Perhaps if I told myself that enough, it would start to ring true.

I couldn’t help wondering why Ren was so unwilling to be touched. And if she was seeking out physical contact in her sleep, did that mean on some level she was aching for connection?

Honestly, after three long years on my own, those few hours with Ren lying against me had been like the answer to an unspoken prayer. It was part of the reason I hadn’t slept much. Not only from the undeniable attraction I fought so hard to tamp down—but because I didn’t want it to end.

It was kind of pathetic when I thought about it. I was so starved for affection I’d hoarded her unintended embrace like a fiend with his favorite drug. Even when I’d felt the urge to scratch an itch or roll over, I’d ignored it, desperate for a few more stolen moments.

Was it just wishful thinking to hope that she secretly craved a moment of connection with me too?

I finally rose from my mat and gathered my things. We had another long day of hiking ahead of us, and it was time to get started.

I emerged from the cave into the jungle and spotted Ren pacing between two trees. “Good morning.”

She flinched, jumping enough that her head bumped into a low branch, sending a shower of pollen into the air. The shimmering flecks of gold spread around her in a halo, making her ever-present beauty shine ethereally in the morning sunlight.

“What?” she snapped.

Great. I must’ve been staring like an idiot. “N-nothing. Just thought we’d eat breakfast while we walk. I got a later start than I’d like.”

Her gaze darted to the forest floor briefly before it rose, examining my face. “Did you sleep well?”

I grinned inanely. “Oh yes. Best sleep I’ve had in ages. I was dead to the world. Dead to the entire universe. Like a corpse, even. You could’ve slapped me and I still wouldn’t have woken up.” My jaw snapped closed, stopping my rambling. I dug in my pack, needing to distract her from my stupidity. “Here. Want some haldi bread?”

She inched close enough to snatch the bread out of my hand, then retreated a step. “Not that I don’t like this stuff, but is it all you brought?” She punctuated the question with a bite so big I was surprised she didn’t need to unhinge her jaw to fit it all in.

“It’s the only thing I had at home that I knew would keep while we were out in the heat.” I jerked my head toward the path and started moving, hoping she’d take the hint and follow. “If you want more variety, we can pick some fruit. And we can forage enough greens to make a salad.”

She shrugged. “Sounds good to me.”

As the morning wore on, the awkwardness slowly receded as I pointed out dozens of edible plants along our route. Ren seemed content to listen to me spout off facts about how to grow each plant and which meals they tasted best in.

“What’s that one?” Her nose wrinkled as I plucked an oblong root vegetable out of the soil just as the sun reached its zenith.

I lifted it with a smile. “This is biteroot.” I dusted it off before quickly discarding the outer layer and offering her a small piece. “They’re easy to locate. Look for reddish-yellow stalks and pull them out.”

She chewed thoughtfully. “Huh. Reminds me of an onion, but sweeter.” She eyed the leaves that I’d pulled off while cleaning the biteroot. “Those are pretty.”

“We have a use for these too.” I crumbled a biteroot leaf between my fingers, then rubbed the plant across a tree trunk, smearing a bright dollop of orange-red across it.

“Let me guess, clothing dyes?”

“Among other things…” I led the way further down the trail, listing several different uses. But then, I sensed something was wrong. Ren’s pace slowed, and her face drained of color.

“I think we should take a break.” I gestured to a downed log on the side of the path. “Sit down.”

She followed without complaint, releasing a big sigh as she sank beside me. Since the log wasn’t very big, we were forced to sit shoulder to shoulder. I chewed the inside of my cheek, worried she’d pop back to her feet when she realized how close we were.

Instead, she leaned her head against my shoulder. “Can I have some water?”

“Certainly.” I handed her the thermos, my heart pounding. “Are you feeling okay, Ren?”

She drained most of the water before answering. “Yeah. I just got really hot for a second. I’m starting to feel better now that I’m sitting down.” She passed the thermos back and seemed to belatedly realize how close we were sitting. She lifted her head and slid as far away as the log allowed, which still left her close enough that our elbows might bump if we weren’t careful.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better. Why don’t we break for lunch while we’re here?”

“Okay. I could eat.”

I grinned. “Why do I get the feeling you’re always in the mood to eat?” I set my pack on the ground and rummaged inside, pulling out the plants we’d foraged and setting them atop a flat round leaf I snagged off a nearby tawl bush.

Her nose wrinkled. “Probably because it’s true. I’ve always had a healthy appetite. High metabolism, I guess. Though sometimes when I’m in the zone at work, I miss a meal or two.”

“Hm. Well, I’ll make sure you don’t miss any meals while we’re together. We need to keep our strength up for the hike.” I finished chopping everything and heaped it in a pile. “What do you think?”

Ren glanced at the salad with a crooked smile. “It’s weird I’m about to eat something that didn’t come from a food processor or a restaurant.”

I pulled a disgusted face. “That’s all you’re eating?”

She rolled her eyes. “What would you know about it? I don’t see a bunch of food processors lying around the jungle.”

“I’ve tried enough food-processed meals to realize they’re no replacement for the real thing. Like those puny bars of sadness you tried pawning off on me.”

“Hey!” She shoved my shoulder, nearly making me drop the salad. “I didn’t have to share, you know.”

I dragged the tawl leaf close to my chest. “Perhaps I shouldn’t share either.”

Her face contorted into a look of pure outrage. “Don’t you dare!”

Chuckles rumbled out of my chest. “Just kidding. I don’t need you gnawing my arm off.”

“Please. Like I would eat something so heinous.”

“Heinous… I don’t know that word either.” Which was true, although it was pretty clear from the snarl on her lip it wasn’t complimentary. “Is that what you say when something looks much too good to eat?”

“You guessed it,” she deadpanned.

I set the tawl leaf on my lap but waved Ren away when she leaned closer. “Hold on,” I insisted when the action earned me a scowl. “It’s missing one last finishing touch.” I plucked a ripe haldi fruit from my bag.

“Are we having a side of fruit with our salad?” Ren asked.

“Haldi’s not the tastiest without cooking. But the juice makes a decent dressing in a pinch.” I sliced into the striped flesh, then squeezed both halves over the salad. Then I picked up the tawl leaf and plopped it on Ren’s lap. “Go on. Try it.”

Ren tentatively lifted some greens into her mouth as I tossed the squished haldi into the jungle. “Mmm.” My blood turned molten as her moan echoed in my ears. “Oh my god! That’s really good.”

I cleared my throat. “Glad you like it.”

She scarfed another bite down. I watched her delicate throat work while I licked the sticky haldi juice off my fingers.

Ren swallowed and said, “Aren’t you going to have—” She froze as her gaze lifted and caught me sucking the last of the juice off my thumb.

I pulled it out of my mouth with an audible pop. “Have as much as you want. I’ll finish it… if you save me some.”

Ren’s cheeks flushed, and her gaze returned to her lap. She finished about half, then passed the leaf to me.

“You’re full?”

She nodded. “Yeah. Thanks.”

I passed her the thermos before tucking in. I even had to bite back my own moan. I don’t know why—since salads like this were a staple in my diet—but for some reason, this particular dish hit the spot in a way I wasn’t expecting.

After I finished, I threw the leaf into the trees and drained what was left of the water. Luckily, there was a small settlement close by. I wagered we could pass through and refill with one of their wells.

Dionions were usually kind to travelers, especially other Dionions. I couldn’t be certain they wouldn’t look at Ren with suspicion. After all, there was a history of poaching in the jungle that many locals weren’t keen to forget. But I suspected as long as Ren was with me, they’d accept her easily enough.

“Ready to get back on the trail?” I asked.

“Sure.” Ren stood, and I followed suit.

“Good news is we should reach—” My statement cut off with a gasp as Ren collapsed. I lunged forward, catching her with a grunt before she smacked into the forest floor.

My stomach plummeted as I gently laid her down and kneeled beside her. “Ren? Are you okay?”

I patted her cheek gently, but she didn’t wake. And to make matters worse, with my palm pressed to her face, it was impossible to ignore how unnaturally warm her skin was.

She kept saying she was hot. I should’ve paid more attention to her symptoms.

What’s wrong with her?

Panic set in, and terrible images flooded my mind, like her breathing slowing and fading away to nothing as the color leeched out of her skin. Then her face flushing beet red and sweat seeping out of her pores as she overheated.

Shoving the awful premonitions aside, I stood and scooped her into my arms. I refused to sit there and do nothing. Ren was in trouble, and I wouldn’t rest until I figured out why—and how to fix it.

*Jalen*

I wrung my hands inside the most garishly decorated cabin I’d ever had the displeasure of visiting. Vomit-green walls dotted with abstract paintings in clashing colors assaulted my eyes. Yet I was willing to put up with the nauseating sight because the house belonged to one of the most skilled healers on Dionus.

Asani might have the design sense of a color-blind tike, but she knew her craft. And right now, she was the best chance I had at discovering what had made Ren collapse.

I’d rushed into the village, barely pausing until I made it to Asani’s door. She’d welcomed me in, then shuttered herself and Ren in a side room while she completed the examination. Only the knowledge that Ren would definitely not appreciate me sneaking peeks at her while Asani checked her everywhere kept me from demanding to stay at her side.

What was taking so long?

The door slid open a few moments later. Asani blinked at me, her wrinkled lips pursing into a displeased glower. “You should’ve brought her somewhere sooner, young one.”

I bristled but refrained from correcting her. As a male in my early thirties, I hadn’t been called young one in almost a decade—but I supposed Asani, who must be in her seventies by now, got away with calling out nearly everyone for being young. “I’ve barely known her for two days,” I grumbled.

“She’s in this state after two days?” Asani looked me up and down. “That’s good. Means a strong connection. Your harmonies are in peak alignment.”

My throat went dry. “What?”

Asani walked closer with her finger outstretched. “Don’t be deliberately obtuse, young one. You’re not so inexperienced you can’t see what this is.”

“No.” I shook my head gravely and stared at the floorboards—which were the ugliest shade of brown imaginable. “I’m certain you’ve heard what happened to me… before.” I didn’t need to go into the details. As huge as our planet was, news and, more importantly, gossip, hopped from one place to another like fire through dry brush.

That finger of hers reached me first, and she used it to her advantage, poking me between my neck and shoulder in some weird spot that hurt so badly I yelped. “Doesn’t matter what did or didn’t happen in the past. Are you blind?”

I rubbed myself with a scowl. “No.”

“Then you know what that means. There’s only one way to stop what’s ailing her.” She wagged her finger at me again. “Don’t make me point that out, too.”

She lunged for me, and I backed away, my hands falling instinctively to cradle my groin. “B-but… I thought…”

“You’re mates,” Asani announced bluntly. “She won’t stop feeling like she needs to cool off until you complete the bond.”

I shouldn’t have been shocked. I’d lived on Dionus my whole life. Seen thousands of couples affected by the heat. But nonetheless, Asani’s words rocked me to my core. “But… she’s Terran.”

“Yes. I suspect that may be another reason she’s been affected so severely.” She cocked her head. “Won’t be long now before it creeps up on you too.”

Come to mention it, I had been feeling warm since carrying Ren here. I’d tried to convince myself it was from walking so far with a full-grown female in my arms. But in hindsight… Asani might be on to something.

“So it has started…” Asani leaned in. “You want my advice? Just bed her and be done with it. You’ll both start feeling better once you surrender to fate.”

My eyes pinched closed, and I rubbed the bridge of my nose. I tried to picture myself marching into Asani’s spare room and telling Ren to spread her legs—for her own good, of course. I’d likely earn a swift kick between mine, and rightfully so.

No, this needed to be handled much more delicately. With Ren’s aversion to touch, and my less-than-savory past, there was a lot we needed to talk about before any mating transpired.

“I’m afraid it’s a tad more complicated in this case.”

“Hm… thought it might be. I’ll wake her and prepare a liquid dose of blockers. They’ll begin working swiftly, easing most of her symptoms. She’ll need to follow up with tablets.” She headed for a cabinet oddly decorated with polka dots on one section and a starburst pattern on the rest. After rummaging in the drawer, she slammed it closed and said, “Here. Take these. Have her swallow one in the morning at first light and one at dusk.” She thrust a rattling bottle at my chest. “You’ll need to do the same once your symptoms become more pronounced.”

“Thank you.” I clutched the bottle to my chest.

“Those are only a temporary solution. Sooner or later, you need to complete the bond.”

I gulped, my mind whirling as I tried to digest her words. “I know.”

Ren was my mate. How in Harlx’s name am I going to tell her?