Page 35 of Banter & Blushes #1

THE JEALOUSY THAT WASN’T SUPPOSED TO EXIST

REBECCA

I could barely contain my grin as I sat across from Maya in the hotel’s coffee shop, nursing a cappuccino that was only half-finished because I had been too busy practically swooning over Luca’s words in my head.

I couldn’t help it. The memory of the way he had defended me so fiercely, standing up to the receptionist with such passion, made my chest feel like it was still on fire.

He really liked me. And despite my self-doubt, it wasn’t just because of carefully chosen words. He genuinely cared. He wasn’t afraid of what people thought. And that, apparently, was enough to make me feel all giddy and ridiculous.

I sighed, staring at my phone like it could somehow give me more of Luca’s sweet words. I almost couldn’t believe he’d done that for me and only for me. Was I dreaming?

"You're grinning like an idiot," Maya’s voice pulled me out of my Luca-induced trance. I looked up to see her smirking over her own coffee, one eyebrow cocked. "You should see your face right now."

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. So, I just grinned even more, which probably wasn’t helping my case.

"Maya, I—he—he really stood up for me," I said, almost unable to stop myself from sounding like a teenage girl with a huge crush. "He told that receptionist off! And the way he defended me... it was so... romantic ."

She rolled her eyes so dramatically I thought they might fall out of her head. "You’ve got it bad, huh?"

"Shut up!" I said, half-laughing, half-embarrassed. "You don’t get it, Maya. He was like... a knight in shining armor, but, like, the really hot Italian version of one. Or is he Tuscan? But anyway, he?—"

"Alright, alright," she interrupted with a teasing smile, "I get it. The guy is your Romeo ." She raised her coffee cup to her lips, giving me a sidelong glance. "But you did make up your mind to walk away, remember?"

That was like a bucket of cold water splashed right in my face. I blinked, the bubble of giddiness popping instantly. "Yeah, I know. I know ," I sighed, slumping in my seat. "It’s just... why did he have to go and be so perfect ? Why did he have to be so sweet ?"

"You’re just asking for it at this point," Sophie said with a smirk. "If you’re having all these feelings for him, you might as well just go for it. Who’s stopping you?"

I froze.

I was content to just soak in the romantic moment, not worrying about what might come next.

My heart suddenly picked up speed. I’m leaving, aren’t I? The vacation was coming to an end. I took a deep breath and shook my head violently. "Maya, what I going to do? We’re leaving soon. This is going to turn out into some sort of drama, isn’t it?"

Maya narrowed her eyes at me. "You say that, but I can see how you’re looking at him when you talk about him. If you don’t want to get wrapped up in the drama, then why do you look like you’re about to explode every time someone mentions his name?"

I did look like I was about to explode. My entire body felt like it was about to burst into a thousand butterflies. Which was, of course, the most inconvenient thing to feel when I was trying to get control of the situation before it got out of hand.

I crossed my arms over my chest defensively. "I’m not getting wrapped up. It’s just... it’s complicated. It’s a vacation fling. It’s... temporary."

Maya cocked her head, the smirk creeping back onto her face. "Oh, yeah? Well, if you don’t want him, maybe I should go for him. You know, just to take him off your hands. He is a chef, after all."

I swear I nearly choked on my own spit. "What?"

Maya’s grin widened. "I’m just saying, maybe I could give him a shot. I mean, I don’t have the emotional baggage you do, and I’m pretty sure I could make him forget all about you." She winked, obviously enjoying the discomfort radiating off of me.

No. No, she did not just say.

The words shot out of my mouth before I could stop myself. "Girl, if you lay one hand on Luca. I’m going to?— "

Maya burst out laughing, clearly delighted by the fact that she’d successfully triggered my very obvious jealousy.

"See? Told you," she said, pointing a finger at me with a triumphant smile. "You’re not fooling anyone, Bec. You want him. You’ve already mentally claimed him. You’re just too scared to admit it."

I leaned back in my seat, completely flustered. "I’m not even... I mean, I’m not—" I could feel my face turning pink. "I’m just aware of how hot he is, okay? And how things have changed between us. And I don’t want you doing anything to jeopardize that, that’s all."

Maya’s eyebrows shot up. "Oh, it’s about the hotness , huh?" She leaned in, lowering her voice dramatically, "Well, honey, if you’re not going to go for him, I will. I’ll show you how it’s done."

"I swear to God, Maya, if you try anything with Luca, I’ll?—"

"You’ll what?" Maya raised an eyebrow, continuing to intentionally needle me, clearly enjoying my embarrassment. "You’ll steal him back from me? How’s that going to work, when you’re too busy deciding whether or not to throw yourself into his arms or push him away?"

"I—" I opened my mouth, but I couldn’t find a single thing to say. She was right, but it didn’t make it any less uncomfortable. God, I was an emotional mess. Why couldn’t I just make up my mind and stop acting like a teenager?

Maya leaned back in her chair, satisfied.

"Look, Bec, I’m not saying you have to make a lifelong commitment with him or whatever, but I’m telling you—you're only making it worse by trying to fight it. You like him, and you can’t just pretend that’s all there is to it.

He’s going to want some answers about where you two stand. "

I crossed my arms tighter, trying to hold on to the last shred of self-control I had left. "I know. I just... I just don’t know exactly what we are right now."

"Afraid of messing up again, huh?" Maya said softly, no longer teasing, but serious.

"Rebecca, you’re not perfect. No one is.

And that last relationship was not entirely your fault.

It takes two people to make things work.

And if you really want him, then do something about it to stake your claim before someone else does. "

I stared at her, her words sinking in slowly, my stomach twisting. I needed to make a decision. I needed to do it soon before the plane leaves.

I let out a long sigh. "I’m really messed up, aren’t I?"

Maya just smiled, softening a little. "Yeah, but you’re my messed-up friend. And I don’t think you’re the only one in this equation who’s afraid of taking the next step."

I took a long sip of my coffee, feeling like everything was spinning a little faster than I could catch up with.

Maya was right. Maybe it was time to face what I really wanted and shoot my shot.

But no matter what, I wasn’t going to let Maya anywhere near Luca alone.

Not in a million years.